I'm always weary of historical suicide accounts. I believe you're referring to Virginia Wolf who supposedly killed her pockets with rocks and drowned.
Logistically, this is pretty impossible unless she got caught in a current or had some pretty heavy boulders in her coat.
What gets me tho is the pain involved. Drowning doesn't seem like fun and sadly that was probably her last resort.
I don't get jealous over people suffering in death tho. Her death must have been long and drawn out.
Even guns deaths are gruesome and surely hurt.
I recently began researching death with dignity laws in Switzerland and can go estly way that's the way to go. They use a barbiturate and have a doctor assist. It's the most painless death you can have. The barbiturate puts you into a doma and then your respiratory system stops.
Sadly, I don't think I would qualify based on mental illness nor chronic pain, and the cost is around 12000 francs.
If Ohio ever adopted a law it would make people happy.
My own life is so full of failure and stupidity I honestly can say death is the only way out of my problems as well, but alas, I don't see it happening.
No matter how hard I try, I cannot CTB either, mostly because I don't have any methods.
Firearms aren't happening and I cannot hang myself knowing how long and drawn out that can be.
Inert gases seemed to be the way to go but when I tried argon I didn't go unconscious. That attempt was the closest I got to CTB but sadly failed.
It's human instinct not to be able to commit, it's not your fault. you have to have lots of willpower to do it