I can' t wait to be death

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

I've struggle during 10years, feeling offset, lonely, not fitting anywhere, never satisfied. trying again and again to find a bit of hapiness without never approaching it, tourments has intensified over time, turning into permanent depressive state for years. A state that has become unbearable, i lost all desire, wish, motivation for anything. words are poor to translate the intensity of this suffering. I'm sure of one thing, after trying so much and going trough so much suffering. I do not want to keep moving and i definitely want to put an end to it ( many of my issues are from the way i function so i cannot do much in the hope it will get better ). I'm deeply sorry for my family but i'm not able to keep living this torture. At this point, i've seen enough.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it's certainly very much understandable just wishing to permanently be free from all the suffering, it sounds tiring what you've been through and like you've suffered a lot. But anyway best wishes.

 

[wanttodie]

me to I can't what tell I die

 

[user56765567]

I feel the same way. Loneliness getting worse and can't find peace and contentment and a place to fit in and be accepted as a friend. Trying again and again to make things better but only making it worse. Being constantly tormented and reminded how much of a failure/loser I am. One shit card after another, I just can't catch a break. It just feels like I'm always chasing but never catching and containing happiness, joy, or peace. If I could bottle them up I would. One of the worst parts has been losing anything I did have in motivations and desires to do certain things. It sucks that you're going through similar things. My heart does go out to you.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

I feel the same way. Loneliness getting worse and can't find peace and contentment and a place to fit in and be accepted as a friend. Trying again and again to make things better but only making it worse. Being constantly tormented and reminded how much of a failure/loser I am. One shit card after another, I just can't catch a break. It just feels like I'm always chasing but never catching and containing happiness, joy, or peace. If I could bottle them up I would. One of the worst parts has been losing anything I did have in motivations and desires to do certain things. It sucks that you're going through similar things. My heart does go out to you.

My condolences that you're going through similar things. It is unfair despite so much effort. I'd like to respond you in a more beautiful way but i feel empty so words emerge hardly, also my vocabulary is limited as english is my second language.
By the way, Your posts are very well writted, It's well articulated and precise. you seems very smart.

 

[user56765567]

My condolences that you're going through similar things. It is unfair despite so much effort. I'd like to respond you in a more beautiful way but i feel empty so words emerge hardly, also my vocabulary is limited as english is my second language.
By the way, Your posts are very well writted, It's well articulated and precise. you seems very smart.

I'm flattered you think so and can appreciate you and your effort in sharing your own words given how hard it must be to do so right now. I often feel at a lost of words and misunderstood around most people in my own life. I thought what you wrote was very clear and understandable. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.