I can overcome SI enough to try hanging myself, but not enough to jum off a cliff or in front of a train

[SHThrowAway213]

It's confusing.
I just tried to hang myself again and had no fear. It just felt like going through the motions.
But when it comes to jumping, I just can't do it.
It's confusing when my SI kicks in with some method but not others

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Hanging was the only thing my SI never kicked in on. Despite my yearning to, I could never get myself to jump

 

[R_N]

Not to sound rude but wouldn't you be dead by now if you overcame SI with whatever method?

 

[WhyIsLife56]

Anyone can overcome it if they're determined enough. The desire has to be stronger than anything in their life. That's how people have successfully end their lives or else they would still be alive, suffering in silence.

 

[SlackJim]

but you didn't hang yourself... how do you know you could do it?

that sounds really blunt, I think this site has desensitised me, I don't mean it in any horrible way

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

The predictable outcome of your act does influence SI to some degree. Jumping off a cliff or in front of a train are very violent ways to commit suicide. The mind visualizes the imagery of bloodied body and broken bones and makes SI even stronger. Anyone is more likely to be grossed out by splattered flesh oozing blood and broken bones rather than a noose. The mind keeps this into account.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Not to sound rude but wouldn't you be dead by now if you overcame SI with whatever method?

Me?
No. It just didn't work. Felt myself choking so I stood up to readjust. Tried a few more times and gave up out of annoyance and went to bed

 

[Nemeshisu]

Me?
No. It just didn't work. Felt myself choking so I stood up to readjust. Tried a few more times and gave up out of annoyance and went to bed

That kinda reminds me of my past ,,suicide attempts". I used to give up on hanging myself because of similarly stupid reasons. It's nice knowing I wasn't only one.

 

[toomuchgrief]

Maybe because you fear of height. It normal, human evolution we are build to survive, so anything high our brain going to tell us that it going to result in us hurting ourselves.

Jumping is my method. Jump down this tower guarantee death though, it be so quick that you be BAM, all over. And it fucking high, and go straight down, you can't survive this fall. I prefer go down to concrete like in this tower than go down to ocean though. It be over faster once you BAM hit the concrete, than have to suffocate on water.

 

[Soul]

Is it because when I go through the steps of hanging myself, I can get quite far into it without doing anything irrevocably lethal? Trains and jumping leave barely any leeway for just testing what it's like.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

Humans evolved to suffer. It's how evolution works. Suffering is a survival mechanism as part of evolution.
Why don't you try a method where you can use your survival instinct against yourself?

 

[Retard]

Is it because when I go through the steps of hanging myself, I can get quite far into it without doing anything irrevocably lethal? Trains and jumping leave barely any leeway for just testing what it's like.

I think you're exactly right here. If your hands are free, you can almost always stop an attempted (partial suspension) hanging. On many occasions I've felt the urge to jump from heights or walk/run out into traffic, but have always been too frightened to attempt the former and have only done the latter once - and that's only because the scumbag driver was going a hell of a lot over the speed limit and so I was fairly certain the collision would've been fatal for me if they didn't stop. I wouldn't want to inflict that on any reasonable driver, but didn't feel any guilt in this instance. Were they going the speed limit, I'd have had plenty of time to cross before they came anywhere close. I didn't look up to see how just how close they did end up coming but heard the tyres screech to a stop. Hopefully taught them a lesson to slow down in future. And no, it wasn't an ambulance or anything like that

 

[EveryBreathIsWar]

It's confusing.
I just tried to hang myself again and had no fear. It just felt like going through the motions.
But when it comes to jumping, I just can't do it.
It's confusing when my SI kicks in with some method but not others

Has anyone when they were younger ever dropped in from a high ramp on a skateboard at all? If so then can you remember if you just stay at that drop in position for a while you feel instinctively less able to want to do it? It was always something that you just went to the top of the ramp and just done without a thought as if it was nothing and you'd do it pretty much all the time without hesitation because you didn't leave yourself enough time to think about and hesitate. I'm pretty sure it's simular with jumping as I have been to a clifftop a few times now even though its not my preferred option to ctb but as a secondary measure put myself in the position to see if I could ctb from jumping and I've found that if I just stand at the edge for a while it's simular to how I felt when I was younger and use to skate but found that its one of them things where from the second your at the edge and looking down your letting your head without you knowing on a subconscious level starting to process and activate the SI and I'm pretty sure I personally would be able to bypass that by just going to the edge and straight away jumping and that I'm pretty sure would the loophole to jumping from a height without your SI kicking in. Pretty much everything has a loophole, it's just finding it and manipulating it to suit you which can be a challenge.