Venting I can never form intimate relationships

[skybluesuicide]

my struggle with intimacy is depressing. The only person I'm close with is my mother but honestly the only reason she's close to me is because I'm her son. if I was a random person she wouldn't give a shit about me. I've tried forming friendships online, and though a big obstacle is getting ghosted, the biggest of them all is myself. I don't ever know what to say and sometimes it takes me multiple days to build up the courage to respond, and by that point they probably have already lost interest. I'm so scared of saying the wrong things that it ruins my ability to become close to someone. Why should I even live if this is the case? Does society expect me to live a life of solitude when I clearly don't want that? Humans are social creatures, I want someone to talk to. People have tried becoming my "friend" out of pity in hopes that I don't throw myself off a building, and that just isn't the same as a genuine relationship. I'm disposable. The moment they know I'm safe and won't CTB our "friendship" will dissolve. Why? Because it was never a real one in the first place. If I somehow become more desperate I'll probably try and buy a Russian mail order bride to talk about my feelings with, but then again I have no job or academic certifications so that's just fanciful.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Oh don't worry about friends as most of them will bring you nothing but trouble…… I have had people beg for my friendship but I don't speak to them anymore and I don't miss any of them.. I rather be by myself … I think I have even mentioned so many times here on how most of these people who are friends with some people "speak bad about each other behind each other's back" hahahaha I'm talking about who I know here. I don't know about your situation but trust me you ain't missing a lot. I blocked majority of these so called friends or asked them to leave me alone… There is some crazy lunatic who would go and create lies because they are desperate to make friends and will use your name to bond with other people all in the name of "friendship" … I call them "beg a friend" because that who he is…

I always ask this person one thing if I was as horrid as he claim why did he have to go and hack me to prove to people how horrid iam whilst inviting me to visit him and his "mupengo" hahahahah ain't interested. Spending time reading my what's app conversations ewww. I remember he used to say G "varungu" ma snitches hahaha and look at him …. Speaking bad about me to "varungu" that you said you can't trust them because they will snitch on you ( I remember everything ) …

Anyway OP do you talk to them ( your friends) about your suicidal thoughts?? Because otherwise how would they know that you are being suicidal???

Anyway OP if you want friends download friendship apps etc you might meet some cool people there. All the best to you…..

 

[Aisley]

Friends really are overrated. But we always want what we don't have, so if you really want friends, learn how to talk about what they want to talk about- themselves. None of that suicidal shit, no one wants to hear it. Learn the basic five follow-up questions, learn how to listen. People just want to talk about themselves- to everyone, all the fucking time. A few years of this, and you'll be done with it. And know that inside, most people want what you want, communion, community, communication. Most people are driven to it, and if you know that, you're ahead of the game.
I actually think a whole generation was socially stunted on purpose, so kids don't know how to socialize. Grow into adults who don't know how to get together and organize shit.

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that you simply cannot trust and rely on people in this world, I get that loneliness is painful for many but the reality is that most humans just create more suffering and make existing much worse so I think it's better to be alone personally. Humans certainly are very self centred and most only care about what directly affects themselves.