I can go whenever I want

[LongForWordlessSong]

I really felt a sense of urgency and a feeling that I wanted to kill myself soon before I got all the supplies I needed for the SN method. Now that I have them, I'm kind of comforted by the fact I can end things whenever I want, and I sort of want to keep going for now. I think I'm starting to move on from my ex-girlfriend and see her for what she really is past the illusion of love and learning that I deserve better and I do deserve actual love. If I kill myself it will be because of loneliness and sometimes I feel as though suicide is my ultimate fate.

I wish things were better for me and I really think I might kill myself I get that feeling so often but as of right now I will remain alive indefinitely.
I really want my life to change and I'm holding onto the hope I can change it for the better with a future-oriented mindset, but if everything goes to shit I can take the easy way out.

 

[rozeske]

Am happy to see you found comfort in acquiring your method. I wish you all the best in your future journey and whatever you may decide to do with your SN, I hope it gives you peace