I can barely get out of my bed, I have no energy to continue going.

[Inferno]

I woke up at 3pm today because I went to sleep at 6 am last night, this happens every day. Most days I only get a few hours of sleep, I'm constantly awake worrying about shit. I've had insomnia my whole life and nothing seems to fix it, it's always been this bad. Every night I have terrible nightmares and wake up with no energy, I can never be well rested, I'm constantly drained of energy. I'm on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion every time I walk more than a few metres. I spend all day lying on my bed, not even doing anything, I just stare at my ceiling for hours on end, there's no purpose. I never have the energy to do anything, even writing in my journal is too much effort. It's so hard to get through every day life because I'm exhausted of living. Why can't I just be happy? This has been going on for over a decade now, I'm tired of it, I just want it to be over already, I'm tired of waiting.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Same… I just want to sleep…

 

[patpat]

Welcome to bed club. Anyone else have a mattress that slides down?

 

[tiredone]

Most days feel the same. If not for keeping up apperances for family, i would not get up at all.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm awake now. Sometimes I sleep in until 1 or 2 pm. Then take a nap around 4 pm.
This doesn't happen every day but I hate getting out of bed.

 

[GlassAlwaysEmpty]

The hardest part of my day is getting the energy to get out of bad.

I hate waking up so much, getting up to face another day of misery and pain is soul destroying.

 

[hellispink]

I know, I feel like a robot that feels nothing anf its always exhausted and in a lot of pain

 

[FuneralCry]

It really makes sense just wishing to be free from existence as it certainly can be torture feeling so trapped here. Having to exist is something so useless, unnecessary and at least to me it could never be beneficial choosing to delay the inevitable, instead such a thing could only be something that leads to unnecessary suffering.

But I'm also so incredibly tired of being here, and it sounds so awful what you have to endure. For me simply just existing makes the thought of permanent non existence sound so appealing, there is nothing more ideal to me than being free from this world where this existence will no longer be my concern.

 

[asterisk3]

The only things that "save me" from not LDARing ad infinitum (i still spend all day in my room with not much energy) are prospects for a decent job and the fact that i know if I take stimulants and that when I do light exercise every day that I "gain" more energy instead of losing... but even knowing that it's still really hard to push myself into the routine. I noticed that when I spend some energy doing things I tend to gain more of it to waste but I can't bring myself to start or care sometimes...

How many of you here don't have many people in their lives too? Or not many good/strong connections? I feel like some (lol) of us have little to no dopamine to get things going. This is why I even force myself to take stimulants... because if I don't... there are no good things in (my) life to push me out of the bed.

I'm kind of tired, scraping the bottom of the barrel at this point and afraid I'm just fucking my body more but oh well.