I called the suicide hotline

[Terrible_Life_99]

I just called the suicide hotline and talked about all my suffering and about wanting to commit suicide. At some point, the person said, "I can't listen to this anymore, I can't help you, you're making me feel bad with your plans to commit suicide." Finally, I asked, "If I make you feel bad with what I'm saying then why is this shit hotline listed as a source of help 10,000 times everywhere when the topic of suicide comes up?"
Unbelievable...
And these shit hotlines are getting recommended by everyone to use for people who are suicidal. If I were a teenager and called there right now I'd probably out of impulsiveness killed myself.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Hopefully they got a sharp rebuke from their supervisor.

Hopefully

 

[itsgone2]

This is the downside to these services. Ok what she said wasn't good but ultimately what can they say? Maybe if someone just has mild symptoms it's helpful?

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

This is the downside to these services. Ok what she said wasn't good but ultimately what can they say? Maybe if someone just has mild symptoms it's helpful?

Right at the beginning i told her that i am strongly suicidal. I said please all I want is to talk with a human being about what's going on and about my suicide. All this person that works in a suicide hotline which was made for this damn purpose was to LISTEN. I'm not stupid i know they can't do magic but i can't talk with my family, friends i have non etc therefore it makes me feel extremely empty knowing that i plan my death so I thought talking to another human about all this would help against this painful feeling i have. It feels like keeping a huge secret and the secret is my exit from this planet.

 

[http-410]

I'm sorry you had to deal with such an incompetent person. I've read about similar experiences here and have had some myself, so I'm not surprised at all. You are not alone! Many people working there should never be allowed to do so. They don't realize how much harm they can cause to people who are already at their breaking point.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I mean, if you're on a suicide hotline, you're gonna get heavy stuff, no matter what. Maybe it was their first time? It's not much of a suicide hotline if they're gonna have a hard time against actual suicidal people. In the end, though, they are human just like us, and maybe you hit the limit with that particular hotliner. I'm proud of you for trying, though.

 

[whywere]

Yep, sounds about right.

The one and only time that I called a suicide hotline, the person was. something along these lines of, "are about to kill yourself?" when I said no, I really needed someone to talk to since I have no family nor friends, he was utterly so disinterested that it was pathetic, and I hung up and said never ever again.

I sometimes wonder if they could cause the situation to get worse, as a person is seeking help and getting indifference at best, then and so what to the poor soul calling in?!

Walter

 

[Hollowman]

Hopefully the cops won't be knocking on your door soon.

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

Hopefully the cops won't be knocking on your door soon.

Na I'm fine in europe or at least where i live in Europe these hotline don't call cops on u. I think thats more a u.s. issue where I heard horrible cases where the cops came and put the poor poor soul to the psychiatry



As I see these kind reactions I really wanna say thank you dear members of saau you are the real help for people who are suicidal. Neither my family when I wanted to talk about the topic suicide nor the hotline were there to give me this warm and kind reaction but you all are here. Again thank you all, you all are amazing:)

 

[LighthouseHermit]

I've talked with dozens of people who told me they got told through a hotline to "think about your family" and "are you really suicidal or looking for attention?"

Contacted a chat once and got told to be happy I wasn't terminally ill. Told her I would gladly trade my life with a terminally ill person so they could live. Her answer was if she could help me with something. I didn't reply.

My mother has called a hotline when I was much younger. She talked with the guy on the line for over an hour, and she experienced it as pleasant. Makes me wonder if those hotlines aren't actually for people who know someone who is suicidal.

Knew a woman who was at the train tracks, called a hotline, crying her eyes out, and they asked if she was looking for help or attention. She then jumped in front of a train, and a guy who was at the station shoved her off the track. Sad, truly sad.

My whole life the people who should've helped me kicked me while I was down. The mental health care system is a joke. A money farm.

 

[Manaaja]

A lot of people want to feel helpful, but don't actually want to help or help in the correct way. They do it to feel better about themselves and earn social points. It was never about helping you, otherwise she'd email you a photo of her you-know-whats and send you a free pizza.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

run

(Nevermind, i thought u were in USA. Ignore this whole post!)


If you don't want to get locked up, go get a tent, go get a burner phone with a new sim chip and prepaid, put your cell phone in airplane mode at home, go camping in the woods, lose your cell phone, get enough food and water to stay there a week, then before coming back report your phone as stolen by a vicious ex who keeps messing with you. Who are they? You don't know, they gave you a fake name when you met and then said their real name is Waldo Whereisos and you are pretty sure that could be made up to. Say you haven't seen fraudulent charges and cant be sure they stole it but think they may have. Report this to one credit card company to send you a new card so technically it's not a police report, but then use it if they try to lock you up. Report the value of the phone as 50 dollars so police won't follow up. But then if there's a welfafe check, you can say it wasn't you who called. Some of these places record calls, it's unknown how long they retain so if they have your voice, you ARE getting locked up. Memorize the numbers of anyone you must contact, you won't have access to them.

This is a great time to see another country if you've ever wanted to see somewhere beautiful far far away.

If the police arrive, do not make noise, do not open the door, if they threaten to break down the door, let them.

They can geolocate you based on payment records and 5G gives very precise location info. You probably have about an hour.

They may not do a welfare check, but I'd put the odds at 85 percent. It's not a reason to ctb now, they can only try to talk with you with a welfare check. Unless they see you and you talk to them, they can't do much, the police have to assess you to drag you to a hospital and thats where they lock you up. Memorize numbers now. Take out cash. So many fun places to see.

Involuntary hospitalization often costs 30-40K without insurance in the USA.

 

[LighthouseHermit]

That's the worst thing about asking for advice. People expect you to use it, and if you don't, they get angry.

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

That's the worst thing about asking for advice. People expect you to use it, and if you don't, they get angry.

I mean what really pisses me off is how extremely everywhere placed this suicide hotline gets recommended , even therapists say use it but when u use it turns out like this.
If she feels "bad" and ends the conversation because a suffering person mentions how painful his life is well then why the hell is she even there on this hotline? All she needs to do is to listen. Actually this thing to have a person that listens while you're talking about your problems would help many suicidal people at least temporarily.

 

[TBONTB]

It seems like the suicide hotlines are mostly just oriented towards making sure you are not going to kill yourself that day. "Do you want to kill yourself right now, have you thought of a plan, do you have means?" If they get to where they think you aren't killing your self sometime soon they will empathize a bit, but mostly they just want to get you more "regular" therapeutic help.

Obviously there are different people with different quality of support, so you know, you get what you pay for.

 

[http-410]

I've talked with dozens of people who told me they got told through a hotline to "think about your family" and "are you really suicidal or looking for attention?"

I just can't comprehend how people at crisis hotlines guilt-trip you when it comes to suicide. Isn't dealing with suicidal people something you learn in a basic training program? This has happened to me quite a few times. What's also "great" is when they try to push their religious beliefs on you or come up with the typical suggestions like, "Have you tried going for a walk?"

There are people who listen without expressing their prejudices, but they are very, very rare. Just a few weeks ago, I spoke to someone on the hotline who simply listened to me. At one point, he started crying because his father had killed himself and left behind a big mess. I don't blame him for being emotional, quite the contrary. I was glad in some odd way to feel that I wasn't talking to a robot, and I think it was that experience of him that made him not your average unempathetic hotline worker.

If you ever consider calling them again, don't expect anything. Hang up as soon as you feel you're not matching, without justifying yourself or saying goodbye or anything else. Not exactly polite, but if you feel it's not good for you, don't waste your time on pleasantries.

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

I just can't comprehend how people at crisis hotlines guilt-trip you when it comes to suicide. Isn't dealing with suicidal people something you learn in a basic training program? This has happened to me quite a few times. What's also "great" is when they try to push their religious beliefs on you or come up with the typical suggestions like, "Have you tried going for a walk?"

There are people who listen without expressing their prejudices, but they are very, very rare. Just a few weeks ago, I spoke to someone on the hotline who simply listened to me. At one point, he started crying because his father had killed himself and left behind a big mess. I don't blame him for being emotional, quite the contrary. I was glad in some odd way to feel that I wasn't talking to a robot, and I think it was that experience of him that made him not your average unempathetic hotline worker.

If you ever consider calling them again, don't expect anything. Hang up as soon as you feel you're not matching, without justifying yourself or saying goodbye or anything else. Not exactly polite, but if you feel it's not good for you, don't waste your time on pleasantries.

Yes the guilt trip is exactly what she did. At first they ask you do you have family then when you mention as i did that i've a younger brother it started. She said how dare you to do this to him or after i mentioned all the suffering my family created she also said how can you commit suicide knowing how much pain you'll leave for them. These hotlines are truly shit seems like no matter which country they have the same script

 

[Cauliflour]

I called Childline once cause basically every British primary and secondary school likes to make a big deal out of it to the point I still have the number memorised, but this was back when I started cutting and I knew it was bad so I figured I should talk to a professional to sort it out quickly cause I was young and didn't know how to deal with those kinds of thoughts at the time.

In fact I have a doodle for this cause I answered something similar a couple months ago:

I haven't bothered with hotlines since. Especially cause I'm suicidal for a pretty niche reason (or I guess "reasons"? idk I'm badly written) so I imagine they'll just be very dismissive and either keep insisting on all the common bullshit that won't work on me or just say I'm doing it for attention and hang up. Either way, not gonna work out. Can't look at a Childline poster the same though if this is the staff they have for children in need. That woman better be thankful it was a masochist she was talking to and not someone with an actual problem...

 

[Leonszabs]

I just called the suicide hotline and talked about all my suffering and about wanting to commit suicide. At some point, the person said, "I can't listen to this anymore, I can't help you, you're making me feel bad with your plans to commit suicide." Finally, I asked, "If I make you feel bad with what I'm saying then why is this shit hotline listed as a source of help 10,000 times everywhere when the topic of suicide comes up?"
Unbelievable...
And these shit hotlines are getting recommended by everyone to use for people who are suicidal. If I were a teenager and called there right now I'd probably out of impulsiveness killed myself.

Jesus, I am really sorry you had to deal with that person, they sound very frustrating to deal with and I don't blame you for feeling irritated regarding having to talk to them. Is there any way to report that person? They need to be fired.

Again, I am very extremely sorry that you had to deal with that. Sending you my love

 

[claracatchingthebus]

Yes the guilt trip is exactly what she did. At first they ask you do you have family then when you mention as i did that i've a younger brother it started. She said how dare you to do this to him or after i mentioned all the suffering my family created she also said how can you commit suicide knowing how much pain you'll leave for them. These hotlines are truly shit seems like no matter which country they have the same script

she probably volunteered because she lost a family member to suicide

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Du hast einen Punkt erreicht, wo du genau weißt, wie du es machen kannst und hast die Mittel es jederzeit zu tun. Du bist frei aber deine Zeit ist noch nicht gekommen, sonst hättest du dich nicht an die Telefonseelsorge gewandt. Ich glaube und hoffe es geht wie von selbst, wenn wir wirklich bereit sind.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I always feel like they ought to have people to refer callers on to. It's expected that they can't 'cure' someone in a single phone call but, they shouldn't just leave the poor person dangling.

The very worst thing about this for me is the whole: 'You made me feel bad.' That's guilt tripping and shaming towards someone who already feels shit! And, I agree. It doesn't seem like the best job for someone who becomes overwhelmed by very pessimistic talk. I wonder what they were expecting.

I think it's kind of acceptable to say: 'I'm sorry but, there's not much more I can do for you via this service.' But then- the hope would be to refer the person to a therapist or something. Aren't they even incontact with local mental health services? I'm sorry you've had this experience.

 

[PotentiallyWasted]

I just called the suicide hotline and talked about all my suffering and about wanting to commit suicide. At some point, the person said, "I can't listen to this anymore, I can't help you, you're making me feel bad with your plans to commit suicide." Finally, I asked, "If I make you feel bad with what I'm saying then why is this shit hotline listed as a source of help 10,000 times everywhere when the topic of suicide comes up?"
Unbelievable...
And these shit hotlines are getting recommended by everyone to use for people who are suicidal. If I were a teenager and called there right now I'd probably out of impulsiveness killed myself.

The fact they told you that is just disgusting. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

The fact they told you that is just disgusting. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Yes i felt bad after that conversation because i have nobody I could talk with about all my problems and about my plan to commit suicide. So I thought maybe talking to a stranger might help but then this happened. Of course this hits hard, I'm completely isolated alone, have a family which simply doesn't give a damn about my suffering and just live as if theres nothing. I offen wonder how I was able to live 26 years trapped in this role of a human who simply isn't compatible with this world.
I just have to die and if si kicks in I just have to force myself because enough is enough I thought about all the reasons everything for too long now , if si wants to stop me i should just say fuck it and continue with my attempt. Once I hang there after a few seconds I'll be unconscious and then I don't have to worry about my future, my loneliness, my sadness, my sad past it all will be deleted , I will be deleted.

 

[Off_Switch]

The most useless thing ever created. I think that corny assed song written about it a few years ago led everyone to believe that they are helpful.