I brought SN

[sheepgirl]

I'm actually shaking. I live in NZ where public sale of SN is highly restricted (generally for buisnesses and schools only) and I was terrified if I ordered SN internationally it would be seized by customs. But I found a way around it and the SN has been ordered by the company and will be delivered once arrived and payment is completed. It only costed me $75 nzd. I feel scared but excited. I have a big event next month (a concert, the particular artist is my entire world and I wouldn't be here without her) so I plan to go to that, my birthday is a month after that which is probably when I will plan to ctb. I've fought suicidal thoughts for 10 years and although I do wish I could live and be happy I never will be happy, this world isn't for people like me and not being apart of pain anymore brings me peace

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would feel some relief at having a reliable way to exit this world. It's true that life is not for everyone, at least that's the way that I've always felt, and I very much envy those who are no longer trapped here. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I'm sure you feel so relieved. Having that choice is everything. I'm sorry you're in this place though. I also feel like this world isn't for me at all. Who is your favorite artist?! I love that you want to stay to see her.

 

[H.O.Xan]

if the pig's eyes r covered, the wolf won't exist anymore right? WRONG. That's the whole mentality abt CTB.