Venting I believe antidepressants fucked me

[DrekSS]

I can't help myself, my whole life I've been different and that is alright I had mild signs of bipolarity and/or depression.

Been with numerous psychologists, and the first ones were of no help, in fact I believe they teared me appart more. Finally, when I started to show signs of suicidal tendency I went to a psychiatrist and I started taking SRIs, none of them worked because I wasn't diagnosed correctly.

What no one told me was that taking them does have consequences in mid and long term. My body makes up ressistance but still has dependency on this shit. I went to a psych ward, I had electrocunvulsive therapy. Now what do I got? A mess in my brain and I can't remember things straight now. In my new treatment I was feeling stable but I'm a living lie. The moment I tried to let the pills aside I found out that I'm literally worse than when I started, this meds make an alt version of me which I'm truly not.

Now I don't know what to do. I wish I had CTB'd when I had the balls. Now I feel like a fucking living ghost. I am alone, insane, and hopeless. All because I listened to the "get help"

I don't doubt that for some people the meds actually work. But some of us are getting fucked and turned into something we are not.

 

[Suspect_Device]

Yeah they suck, I could never tolerate them.

 

[OrphicEnd]

The desire for scientific rationalization and categorization has pushed psychology researchers to classify everything. As a result, any mental problem is considered a treatable disease, which requires medication and which is almost identical between several different cases. It suits everyone, companies sell more medicine, other people can treat those who feel bad like sick, inferior instead of humans... A study had shown that anti-depressants were 50% effective and taking fake medication (placebo) is 40%. There is a lot to say about it. That's why competent professionals who do not prescribe drugs and don't treat like sick people are becoming increasingly rare...
Best wishes

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry what you have to go through is so awful. It's another prove that meds are not the solution for most mental problems rather they can increase suffering and pain. I would always reject such meds and that is my personal opinion. Whatever you decide I wish you all the best to find a way to cope with your situation.

 

[Meteora]

I can relate to this so much. Wrong diagnosis, incapable therapists, meds that don 't really improve the situation....
I don' t know. I believed in the helping system so much and got disapponted so hard.
It seems some are meant to die early.

 

[dialogos]

Well my mother didn't go to a psychiatrist. She went to an expensive neurologist who just happened to prescribe exactly what she needed for dementia caused memory loss (memantine 10 MG's 2x a day), psychosis, insomnia, mania (quetiapine 10mgs at night)), depression (duloxetine 30mgs at night) . since these were very low dosages, it took 2 weeks to take effect. It was a massive relief since she remembered our names again, didn't lose her temper anymore at the most minor things, lessened her paranoia to manageable levels. Its like she came back again. This neurologist specialized in old people. It's important that the doctor has real practical experience.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

Traditional psychiatric medicine has done nothing (positive) for me… well okay, I've become physically dependent on benzodiazepines (just take the dose I'm prescribed), but I stopped for a week in 2021 & ended up In the ER. Ssri I took for many years did NOTHING… literally NOTHING. Infact When I was first prescribed it along with the klonopin, I was about 500X better in every way than I am now.
Now I'm working with a better therapist (MD, PhD) & they agreed that the meds I take do Nothing positive for me.. infact they are actually making me worse. But I've more issues than any 1 therapist can properly handle. So they recommend I try psychedelic (psilocybin) assisted therapy. I know at least that won't harm me more. But in general I have very little hope. Some times I can feel stronger or more positive, but life always rips me apart again rather quickly. I just want to fucking die already. Every day, it's kinda like I live to just cross the day off the calendar, so I feel that I'm a wee bit closer to this nightmare being over.
I have very vivid dreams too. Most of them are nightmares… however they still are better than my life when I'm awake. Also been wanting to die for more most of my life. Yes even as a kid, I was told I said that often, along with other negative comments about myself. I just hate myself so much and want this horrible existence to end.
The other huge problem is that to get a competent & experienced doctor in the US requires an enormous amount of money, an amount that most people do not have & never will have. I hope I die soon.

 

[アホペンギン]

Antidepressants never worked for me. They suck, I honestly think that they're one of the reasons why i'm suicidal, they ruined me. Supposedly they're for reducing excitement in the brain to prevent these feelings but they just increased these feelings for me.

 

[CheekyPhobia]

I do have to question the efficacy of a lot of the medications prescribed to people. Especially teenagers still developing: I was given isotretinoin for my acne as a teen and was in heavy dosages for two years. I'm certain that medication left permanent damage on my body and mind.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really dreadful what you have to go through, it's cruel how people suffer so much in this existence.