I basically just got permission from my grandma to CTB.

[sadsamantha]

I basically just got permission from my grandma to CTB. Like I have posted before, I am wanting to CTB for many reasons, but the biggest one is that I'm currently facing federal charges for cyber stalking and harassing my ex and his new girl. It's very likely that I will go to prison. The only thing that's stopped me from killing myself in the past was that I didn't want to hurt my grandma who loves and cares about me deeply, and also my extremely low pain tolerance.

But the other day, I bit the bullet and straight up told my grandma that I would rather die than go back to prison and she understood. Her response was "I would rather think of you in Heaven than in prison." I know that not everyone's beliefs regarding Heaven are different and some don't believes in Heaven at all, but I certainly do. Of course, my grandma wants me to wait until I receive my sentence before I kill myself because of course there is a slim possibility that the judge will have mercy and I won't have to go. She wants me to take my sleeping pills in my pocket the day I go to court and take all of them if I get sentenced. But I've done an extensive amount of research on suicide, so I know that taking a bunch of pills rarely results in death.

So, my only option is to ctb before my court date. I think she will still understand. I just have to fight through the pain and do it.

 

[lionetta12]

I basically just got permission from my grandma to CTB. Like I have posted before, I am wanting to CTB for many reasons, but the biggest one is that I'm currently facing federal charges for cyber stalking and harassing my ex and his new girl. It's very likely that I will go to prison. The only thing that's stopped me from killing myself in the past was that I didn't want to hurt my grandma who loves and cares about me deeply, and also my extremely low pain tolerance.

But the other day, I bit the bullet and straight up told my grandma that I would rather die than go back to prison and she understood. Her response was "I would rather think of you in Heaven than in prison." I know that not everyone's beliefs regarding Heaven are different and some don't believes in Heaven at all, but I certainly do. Of course, my grandma wants me to wait until I receive my sentence before I kill myself because of course there is a slim possibility that the judge will have mercy and I won't have to go. She wants me to take my sleeping pills in my pocket the day I go to court and take all of them if I get sentenced. But I've done an extensive amount of research on suicide, so I know that taking a bunch of pills rarely results in death.

So, my only option is to ctb before my court date. I think she will still understand. I just have to fight through the pain and do it.

This story reminds me of that article about a guy who drank some cloudy water in court after he got sentanced and then he died shortly after.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like such a horrible situation to be in and your wish to escape from a much more hellish future is completely understandable. I wish you the best.

 

[GasMonkey]

This story reminds me of that article about a guy who drank some cloudy water in court after he got sentanced and then he died shortly after.

 

[don't want it]

If it's a year or two in prison, it doesn't matter much, but more than that looks horrific

 

[ctb7767]

Do you have a lawyer? I commented on your previous thread but I really think it's possible you'll get a suspended sentence…

 

[Shadowlord900]

Unless if you get a quick acting drug that's small enough to quickly consume and act fast enough to kill you before anyone gets the chance to stop/save you, I wouldn't risk waiting until you get your sentence to CTB, that is if you want to avoid prison that badly.

But I'm afraid sleeping pills aren't going to cut it in that situation. Very few drugs/poisons can kill you quick enough. Cyanide poisoning comes to mind, I remember reading before about some guy in court taking a cyanide suicide pill when he was found guilty. While cyanide can kill you quickly without any chance of being saved, I can't recommend CTBing on cyanide poisoning. Because despite what films would lead you believe, cyanide poisoning is incredibly painful. It's been described before as feeling like your insides are burning, and this can last between 2-5 minutes before you finally CTB.

 

[SamTam33]

Unless if you get a quick acting drug that's small enough to quickly consume and act fast enough to kill you before anyone gets the chance to stop/save you, I wouldn't risk waiting until you get your sentence to CTB, that is if you want to avoid prison that badly.

But I'm afraid sleeping pills aren't going to cut it in that situation. Very few drugs/poisons can kill you quick enough. Cyanide poisoning comes to mind, I remember reading before about some guy in court taking a cyanide suicide pill when he was found guilty. While cyanide can kill you quickly without any chance of being saved, I can't recommend CTBing on cyanide poisoning. Because despite what films would lead you believe, cyanide poisoning is incredibly painful. It's been described before as feeling like your insides are burning, and this can last between 2-5 minutes before you finally CTB.

Assuming one can get their hands on cyanide pills, I have to assume that 2 - 5 minutes of your insides being on fire is infinitely better than 2 - 5 years in prison.

Call me crazy, but I have to believe this.

 

[sadsamantha]

Do you have a lawyer? I commented on your previous thread but I really think it's possible you'll get a suspended sentence…

I'm going to dm you

 

[don't want it]

2 years not that bad ? It's not that long at all

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm glad you've realized that sleeping pills aren't a very reliable method for CTB, at least the newer ones aren't. They've been reformulated over the years to make them safer and it's highly unlikely that you'll be successful with this method. What's your real method you're considering before your court date?

 

[MidnightCat]

That's a really tough situation to be in, I'm really sorry.

Your lawyer could try the route of "my client have a mental illness" and that may be enough to save you from prison but I'm not a lawyer myself and every country has it's rules..

 

[dw33ter]

Your lawyer could try the route of "my client have a mental illness" and that may be enough to save you from prison but I'm not a lawyer myself and every country has it's rules..

I hear that the mental illness route (should you succeed) is likely to send you to a mental institution that is even more difficult to get out of than prison though, so it's often not worth it. Then again, IANAL.

 

[Kurushii]

I'm sorry that you're facing federal charges and might end up going to prison. I hardly expect anyone to understand how we feel about suicide but your grandma did. You do have a very understanding and kind grandma sadsamantha. I hope things turn out for the better in your situation.