Lovey

Lovey

Bipolar | AN
May 16, 2023
23
So last weekend was pretty shitty, I ended up drunk, crying in the bar I was in and as soon as I got home I tied two of my scarfs together, tied them on one side of the door, tightened the noose around my neck and just stopped fighting. I slowly bent over and I could absolutely feel my vision getting blurry, my breath cutting, no headache, no fear, no nothing. Just relief. And then my cat started scratching the door from the other side… I had to stand up.

Some guy I've been seeing called me and came over. He asked why had I been crying I said a lot of bs that he believed. We had sex. He cried the morning after because he missed his dead grandma and I comforted him. And I didn't say a thing about my attempt, to anyone until today.

I don't think I want to be saved, not this time.

I will attempt next weekend again and I just hope I succeed. I'm already looking for someone to watch over my cat for that day, I'm offering a lot of money and everything. I don't want him to be trapped in this room for God knows how long after I die…

Anyways, I am so fucking tired. Thanks for coming to my ted talk
 
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