Venting I am too broken to survive

[Sargeant12344]

I find myself choking on misery, doubt and helplessness at every moment. I am deprived of any care and find myself staring at walls, begging for time to simply stop so that I may catch my bearings on what feels to be a maddingly fast train.

I am told that people care for me, but I doubt it. They are either lying out of a sense of duty, or else do not know me enough to truly care.

I want to kill myself so badly. I do not foresee myself ever being different.

 

[Jean4]

We care for you and we understand. Do you want to talk about it? We are good listeners.

 

[MysticPerception]

I see this is your first post so welcome to SS. If you feel like no one truly cares about you well you're in luck because it's very easy to meet people here who do truly care about you. Wanting to die is also pretty normal around here too though so don't worry you're in like minded company.

 

[Sargeant12344]

I feel myself to be incapable of forming a loving relationship (I mean platonic love), which is the only thing that could be said to be make me feel mirth and joy. Without one, I spend my time alone (which is extensive) staring at my wall, too bored to bother with anything else.

 

[EmptyArms]

I'm so sorry that you are suffering so much. I truly do care about that, and I do understand what it's like not to be able to fully feel the warmth of care and affection from people around you . I think that the people who say they care about you really do, but maybe your self esteem is so low that you have trouble believing that, or you are so deeply depressed that no positive emotions can register at the moment. It's like the sun is out, but you are in the shade right now. There are people here who can really relate to that. I suggest you take your time, dont rush into anything, and take up that support from the kind and loving people who hang out here to help you feel those warm rays again. There is good in the world, and you are not alone.