Venting I am tired, I am exhausted.

[d3ad]

I am honestly so tired of crying all the damn time. I am always crying. I also feel so out of touch with reality. I don't know who I am. I am always dissociating, I can't even study. Whenever I come back to reality, I just realize how fucked up my life is and the crying thing begins all over again. That is my daily way of living. It is exhausting, so exhausting. I can't get anything done. All I do is live inside my haunted mind. I won't even get started on how everything triggers me, even insignificant or small stuff. I could see two people laughing and having fun, and I will just burst into tears. I am hurt, deep inside. I cannot explain my pain in any way. My therapist keeps asking what am I feeling, but I cannot explain it. I just breakdown for hours. I get flashbacks all the damn time, of all the trauma I have experienced throughout my entire life. I feel like I am drowning, I cannot breathe. I have written this so many times here. The pain just never stops. I hate living. I hate being alive.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really dreadful what you are going through, existence certainly is too cruel. But anyway best wishes, I get that it's horrible feeling trapped in an existence you hate that just causes suffering.

 

[R_N]

It seems like you carry a lot of hurt. It is unfortunate when needs aren't met and past is drowning you. At least try to breathe a little here and there and keep in mind that some thoughts are just a hurtful habit. You are here now no matter how bad it may seem you can try to give yourself a moment of relief from your minds shackles.

We give too much importance to stuff around us and it ends up suffocating us. But nothing is that important in the end.

 

[d3ad]

That must be really dreadful what you are going through, existence certainly is too cruel. But anyway best wishes, I get that it's horrible feeling trapped in an existence you hate that just causes suffering.

It's hell.

It seems like you carry a lot of hurt. It is unfortunate when needs aren't met and past is drowning you. At least try to breathe a little here and there and keep in mind that some thoughts are just a hurtful habit. You are here now no matter how bad it may seem you can try to give yourself a moment of relief from your minds shackles.

We give too much importance to stuff around us and it ends up suffocating us. But nothing is that important in the end.

Thank you. You have a point. I will try that, just until I am able to ctb.

 

[Federico]

I am honestly so tired of crying all the damn time. I am always crying. I also feel so out of touch with reality. I don't know who I am. I am always dissociating, I can't even study. Whenever I come back to reality, I just realize how fucked up my life is and the crying thing begins all over again. That is my daily way of living. It is exhausting, so exhausting. I can't get anything done. All I do is live inside my haunted mind. I won't even get started on how everything triggers me, even insignificant or small stuff. I could see two people laughing and having fun, and I will just burst into tears. I am hurt, deep inside. I cannot explain my pain in any way. My therapist keeps asking what am I feeling, but I cannot explain it. I just breakdown for hours. I get flashbacks all the damn time, of all the trauma I have experienced throughout my entire life. I feel like I am drowning, I cannot breathe. I have written this so many times here. The pain just never stops. I hate living. I hate being alive.

and how's this wrong ? (you're making me cry) you need to cry ? Cry my dear ! you're good but how can you expect things to get better if you don't allow your soul to express fully ? I mean , breakdown completely instead of holding it back...don't fake reality , from me we say "crying is the shower of the soul" my sweetie .....my sweetie just just . . .live yourself truthfully , stop doing things you hate like fake smiles , not saying what you really think. . . say professors that they can't explain properly , you're indeed not dumb (if you go to school) ....just you're worthy of love and comprehension . . . i can assure you that if you can't focus maybe you shouldn't try to , it flows naturally when you're good ...if it doesn't just don't force ... oh oh i'd like to give you a big hug (and eat with you a cookie . . .maybe two)

 

[d3ad]

and how's this wrong ? (you're making me cry) you need to cry ? Cry my dear ! you're good but how can you expect things to get better if you don't allow your soul to express fully ? I mean , breakdown completely instead of holding it back...don't fake reality , from me we say "crying is the shower of the soul" my sweetie .....my sweetie just just . . .live yourself truthfully , stop doing things you hate like fake smiles , not saying what you really think. . . say professors that they can't explain properly , you're indeed not dumb (if you go to school) ....just you're worthy of love and comprehension . . . i can assure you that if you can't focus maybe you shouldn't try to , it flows naturally when you're good ...if it doesn't just don't force ... oh oh i'd like to give you a big hug (and eat with you a cookie . . .maybe two)

You are very sweet. Thank you for your kind words.

 

[Federico]

don't make me blush now . . . :)