Method I am thinking of ending it all

[SleepyKitten]

I (20F) have BPD, and my life is not worth living. My life is agonizing. I want to know any accessible and as painless (as possible) methods to end it all. I also want to know, if there is any way to leave my loved ones at peace, so they don't blame themselves and I can say satisfying final goodbyes. I don't want it to be agonizing for anyone, please help me. Thank you

 

[JuliaOnTheNet]

Check the peaceful pill hand book it's on this thread which is stickied: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/pph-essentials-2022.107973/
SN is the most popular I'd say

 

[thisiswhoiam-]

Back in the day i heard most about Nembutal. Most people opt for chemicals and CTB that is close to assisted dying/euthanasia, that seems to be the least painful and most effective if done properly.
You can't really avoid affecting other people with this, because you have to realize you can't control other people's emotions. They will think and feel what they will, you can of course try to manipulate someone but it's always their feelings in the end. You should think about yourself first.

 

[FuneralCry]

The unfortunate reality is that in this hellish world, suicide is simply not straightforward and we exist in a world that restricts access to the more painless methods. If suicide was easier I would certainly be long gone at this point, and there are just no easy answers to leaving this world, I guess that all that anyone can do, is do their own research into this and there is the suicide resource compilation on here. I just think that what is the best method depends on what can be accessed by the individual, it has to be a personal decision deciding what method is best. From what I'm aware there is no way to get Nembutal at the moment, instead there is only scams.

And I think that with leaving others behind, the reality is that grief and loss are just an inevitable part of life, we all have to die and lose everything someday no matter what. If people don't wish to deal with loss then they shouldn't procreate and I guess that writing notes could be beneficial so that those left behind aren't left with as many unanswered questions, and a note could act as a way to say farewell and can also give them some closure as well. But anyway, it really sounds like you've suffered so much, so I hope that you find peace from the pain that existing brings.

 

[SamHam]

How to you plan on leaving your loved one in peace if you're doing the deed especially if you haven't shared your feelings with them. I think that they will be anything but peaceful if you choose to ctb. So I would advise you to communicate your experiences to a trusted person that you know can understand you and to not do thing you can't turn back. Because as you said you are young and you can't tell what wonderful things life might have in store for you if you just hold on a bit longer.