lady sea
the sea is my string of hope
- Feb 24, 2019
- 40
Storytime.
My ex and I broke up MONTHS ago on semi bad terms but I won't get into that. The break up never got me upset all that much (I don't get attached easily) even though we dated for 9 months. Anyways, she is now in the army and does not have access to her phone until end of October. A couple weeks ago I got a spam notification from her email. I had forgotten I had her email on my phone. Keep in mind when we dated, she never let me near her phone I never questioned it before.... now I get why. I decided to log into her instagram with the email, YES I KNOW it was a bad idea and I should've respected her privacy but curiosity got the best of me. I snoop through just ONE persons messages and found out she cheated on me twice. With the two people I told her I had problems with most. I instantly was so shattered but at the same time I was so happy. I got clarity on why she was so secretive and protective. I got clarity on why she would do so much of what she did before. Moving on with the story, I was furious especially since I didn't know before and it took months for me to actually find out. I went a bit overboard after that... I was mad so please understand but I changed the password to her instagram using her email since I didn't know the original password, then I went onto changing the password to her email which I knew because of when she logged into it on my phone I remembered her saying it. Now I have full access to her account and she won't even know until the end of October... I know I messed up but I don't know her original password so I can't change it back and now im scared she's gonna know it was me and she'll come find and abuse me again. Mental abuse I mean, because I know if she came back, I would take her back no matter what. I miss her love and I know she didn't love me back (clearly because she cheated on me) but it still felt like she did and I miss the feeling of feeling like Im loved you know?
My ex and I broke up MONTHS ago on semi bad terms but I won't get into that. The break up never got me upset all that much (I don't get attached easily) even though we dated for 9 months. Anyways, she is now in the army and does not have access to her phone until end of October. A couple weeks ago I got a spam notification from her email. I had forgotten I had her email on my phone. Keep in mind when we dated, she never let me near her phone I never questioned it before.... now I get why. I decided to log into her instagram with the email, YES I KNOW it was a bad idea and I should've respected her privacy but curiosity got the best of me. I snoop through just ONE persons messages and found out she cheated on me twice. With the two people I told her I had problems with most. I instantly was so shattered but at the same time I was so happy. I got clarity on why she was so secretive and protective. I got clarity on why she would do so much of what she did before. Moving on with the story, I was furious especially since I didn't know before and it took months for me to actually find out. I went a bit overboard after that... I was mad so please understand but I changed the password to her instagram using her email since I didn't know the original password, then I went onto changing the password to her email which I knew because of when she logged into it on my phone I remembered her saying it. Now I have full access to her account and she won't even know until the end of October... I know I messed up but I don't know her original password so I can't change it back and now im scared she's gonna know it was me and she'll come find and abuse me again. Mental abuse I mean, because I know if she came back, I would take her back no matter what. I miss her love and I know she didn't love me back (clearly because she cheated on me) but it still felt like she did and I miss the feeling of feeling like Im loved you know?