I Am Still Pro-Choice But I May Be Mourning Soon

[HappyEnding]

My long-distance friend may have committed suicide by OD-ing on her medication. I am still pro-choice but since we're friends, I still feel bad. Part of me is glad that she's probably free from all the misery she's endured her entire life but another part of me is worried sick. I don't know if she succeeded since she lives in another country. I tried to help make her life easier through texts and calls but I guess I failed. And what's worse is that it'll be her birthday soon and I promised I'd celebrate it with her online.

I finally understand what it feels like to be on the other side, to be the one worried sick. Usually it is friends worried about me and I always wished that they would just let me die because I never felt worthy of being cared for. And for that I feel even more awful.

I hope she texts me tomorrow but if not, I guess that's my answer. If there is an afterlife, I hope she is happy with her sister who had also committed suicide earlier this year. I feel awful and just needed a place to get this off my chest. Sorry for ruining the mood here.

 

[Jean4]

That is what we are here for. I am in the same boat. Technically, I don't have PROOF this individual CTB, even though he wrote a goodbye thread.

We personally said our goodbyes and he hasn't contacted me. I can only assume he CTB.

I will never know who found him. How his children and ex wife feel. How his friends. Where he is buried.

Yes. If she doesn't write you, that is probably your answer.

Remember. Even though we are pro choice here, and many here want to CTB ourselves, it still hurts like hell when someone we care about dies.

Yes. We are happy that they are out of pain and we understand.

However, we are human and it's ok to also be angry. Angry the person left. Angry that the person caused you pain by leaving. Also human feelings.

The difference is, we understand that the pain the individual who CTB was feeling was so much greater than the anger and pain we are feeling, that we put their desires above our own.

I am sorry for the loss of your friend. She must have been very special to have someone worried about her. You were also a good friend to her for caring.

 

[HappyEnding]

That is what we are here for. I am in the same boat. Technically, I don't have PROOF this individual CTB, even though he wrote a goodbye thread.

We personally said our goodbyes and he hasn't contacted me. I can only assume he CTB.

I will never know who found him. How his children and ex wife feel. How his friends. Where he is buried.

Yes. If she doesn't write you, that is probably your answer.

Remember. Even though we are pro choice here, and many here want to CTB ourselves, it still hurts like hell when someone we care about dies.

Yes. We are happy that they are out of pain and we understand.

However, we are human and it's ok to also be angry. Angry the person left. Angry that the person caused you pain by leaving. Also human feelings.

The difference is, we understand that the pain the individual who CTB was feeling was so much greater than the anger and pain we are feeling, that we put their desires above our own.

I am sorry for the loss of your friend. She must have been very special to have someone worried about her. You were also a good friend to her for caring.

Thank you for your wisdom. This helps me feel a bit better.

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

No, @HappyEnding, you haven't ruined the mood here. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm also pro-choice but I do value the deep and life-long negative impact suicide has on our near and dear ones. So I am not very very generous with the applicability of this choice. Before one does it, one should think deeply, for very long, and talk to the professionals, wiser, older and experienced people who have seen life longer, better and worse, and seen the ups and downs and all the diversity and probabilities that life comes with.

You don't really have to listen to the scary stories of hell from the God-loving people. But you must acquaint yourself with the wails of a mother who saw her daughter black and blue or hanging from the ceiling. As much as you've the choice to do whatever with the life in your body, you also have a choice not to hurt the people you love and who care about you. Anything is possible but return from death isn't.

I don't know your reasons. You may or may not be in pain. If you are, I'll keep you in my thoughts that your pain goes away. May you have a HappyEnding!

 

[Grandexit]

I went to see a professional services guy that I've used for 10 years. He looked like hell. He confided in me that he is on yet another round of kemo and after this next year he will retire and doesn't think he has long to live. That really messed me up. I'm not sure how to feel right now.

 

[HappyEnding]

I went to see a professional services guy that I've used for 10 years. He looked like hell. He confided in me that he is on yet another round of kemo and after this next year he will retire and doesn't think he has long to live. That really messed me up. I'm not sure how to feel right now.

I wish I had some helpful wisdom for you but all I can say is that I hope for the best for you two. I am here if you need a listening ear.

 

[Grandexit]

I wish I had some helpful wisdom for you but all I can say is that I hope for the best for you two. I am here if you need a listening ear.

Thanks. It's my tax guy, so not like we're best friends or anything. But to confront mortality like that, over something as mundane as taxes.... it was really heavy. I'm really not sure what to feel. I keep thinking about what he would say to me if he knew my extra-curricular activities. Someone who's had that many medical interventions must want to go on, but I who am in good (?) health, would give anything not to wake up tomorrow morning. It's just an absurdity of life I guess. I don't really know what else to say.