krqnet
New Member
- Dec 17, 2024
- 3
i despise complaining but i really don't have anywhere to talk about myself. i am constantly surrounded by people, so many people, but i'm always alone simultaneously. i feel so much, 24/7, always analyzing and thinking too far ahead and i leave that person out of fear. out of shame. out of the guilt that constantly haunts me.
the only few times i've really been vulnerable in relationships, friendships, etc. i've been used. and I haven't ever told anybody about it.
i truly do think that i only hurt myself by feeling anything. emotion is a static noise in the back of my mind when i'm alone too long. it haunts me. i want to die because of it- because in death there is no way to possibly feel.
(sorry this was so overwhelmingly edgy, tonight's been rough)
the only few times i've really been vulnerable in relationships, friendships, etc. i've been used. and I haven't ever told anybody about it.
i truly do think that i only hurt myself by feeling anything. emotion is a static noise in the back of my mind when i'm alone too long. it haunts me. i want to die because of it- because in death there is no way to possibly feel.
(sorry this was so overwhelmingly edgy, tonight's been rough)
