Venting I am so tired of being mentally ill

[lost.ghost]

I am so incredibly tired of being mentally ill. I know that all of these problems will never go away, it might get easier, but it'll never fully go away. I became extremely suicidal at the age of 12 because of abuse during my childhood, I've continuously been a mess, I'm 19 now. i am so emotionally exhausted. This isn't a life. I'm not living, I'm just existing. I hate it. I am just so tired of being like this, I don't want to have this brain. I am so exhausted. I know that eventually I will die by suicide, but I'm okay with it that and looking forward to it. I just want to be at peace

 

[Walilamdzi]

I feel completely the same. I barely get out of bed at the minute and struggling to get dressed and look after myself at all. If I didn't continually have someone looking after me, I don't know what I'd do. Hence I need to leave.

 

[Slow85]

I can totally relate to this . It's exhausting .
I have been experiencing a very bad bout of depression recently (I have schizoaffective - they say mixed I think depressive ) and knowing that even if I recover from this I will inevitably have another episode and another and another .... you get the gist

I have a very supportive partner who looks after me but is that any life for him? It's exhausting worrying about my own mental health and also if I am being a productive mum / wife / employee (when I am able to work )

I can not see that things will ever be better ....I can really relate to the exhaustion you are talking about x

 

[GoBack]

It is exhausting. At least when I was younger my body could keep going on autopilot, and keep trying new things and finding some joy in life. I've run out of positivity and hope now

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Same. I'm more insane as days pass by.

 

[nerve]

Me too.

I feel like I could deal with either the general misery of being mentally ill or the way it's crippled all potential I may have had, but not both at once.

 

[lost.ghost]

I can totally relate to this . It's exhausting .
I have been experiencing a very bad bout of depression recently (I have schizoaffective - they say mixed I think depressive ) and knowing that even if I recover from this I will inevitably have another episode and another and another .... you get the gist

I have a very supportive partner who looks after me but is that any life for him? It's exhausting worrying about my own mental health and also if I am being a productive mum / wife / employee (when I am able to work )

I can not see that things will ever be better ....I can really relate to the exhaustion you are talking about x

I also have a supportive partner and I understand how you feel. I feel terrible that he has to take care of me and look after me and check up on me. It's not fair to him

 

[last_tour]

I wasn't abused as a child, but I do feel like im being abused harshly by government, taxes, economics, politics, people, and even nature itself. Either way, its the same story. Im starting to thin ''mental illness' doesn't exist and its more like the impossible cirumstances that were thrown at you and realizing you won't be able to survive it. Mental pressure eventually becomes physical exhaustion and once you can't move and work to feed yourself its pretty much over. If only we could all stay resilient and face the harshest conditions like soldiers but thats not how it is. Not everyone can face the crushing reality of living. In WW1 they would administer drugs like cocaine to keep soldiers fighting no matter the conditions. If you were too depressed from fighting you would get thrown out of the front lines because your depression was thought to be contagious to other working soldiers. I think we are put in the same circumstances, being put in impossible scenarios, when we give out we get labeled as 'mentally ill' and sectioned away, then given drugs to cope with it. We are not machines though, sometimes we want nature to run its course and have peace , but it seems modern society has evolved in a way to prolong suffering as much as possbile...

 

[BPD Barbie]

It's a tiredness no amount of sleep can fix, no amount of rest. It's a constant gnawing inside of you, like a scratch you can never itch.

 

[GoBack]

An itch you can never scratch :)