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suburban111
New Member
- Jun 7, 2022
- 3
I'm going to CTB because of a guy. I'm obsessed with him and he wants nothing to do with me anymore. He has such good taste in shows and music, and so I can't enjoy either anymore, because everything I like or want to get into reminds me of him. He is so smart and funny, more than any guy I've ever met, and he has a good social life and lifelong friendships that I am so jealous of. He is the most attractive man ever and extremely sexually compatible. Sex has been completely ruined for me. I was inexperienced before him, and now after him I can't enjoy it with anyone else. I can't even get myself off anymore, because I just think of him and I feel sick and start crying. Every other guy is so unappealing to me. For a while I really thought he liked me, he acted I was too good for him, but I realize that he is leagues above me. I am ugly and have no personality or interests anymore, of course he wouldn't like me. I felt lied to and used by him, but I wish I could go back to being used by him because that's the best I deserve from him anyway.
It has been a year since I talked to him, because he blocked me, and I feel worse every day. I can't exist without being in intense pain. I feel like nobody understands, everyone else is able to just get over people, especially people they never even dated. Something is so wrong with my brain, I know I am so insane because of this, I have acted insane over it too which makes me feel like a bad person and want to CTB even more. Does anyone else relate to this? I feel so alone in having this be my reason. Something is so uniquely wrong with me. I have tried everything to get better (therapy, EMDR, medication, spravato) and nothing makes any difference. I cannot live without him.
It has been a year since I talked to him, because he blocked me, and I feel worse every day. I can't exist without being in intense pain. I feel like nobody understands, everyone else is able to just get over people, especially people they never even dated. Something is so wrong with my brain, I know I am so insane because of this, I have acted insane over it too which makes me feel like a bad person and want to CTB even more. Does anyone else relate to this? I feel so alone in having this be my reason. Something is so uniquely wrong with me. I have tried everything to get better (therapy, EMDR, medication, spravato) and nothing makes any difference. I cannot live without him.