KuriGohan&Kamehameha
想死不能 - 想活不能
- Nov 23, 2020
- 1,682
Being in my bed staring at the walls, having to hear my housemate laughing with his girlfriend in the next room over is like salt in my necrotic wounds. On the other side of my wall I hear another housemate playing games with his friends. Sandwiched between their rooms is my cave of isolation.
I am so goddamn lonely. I wish I had family to sit with, not being forced to chat or provide entertainment, but simply to exist around with no expectations of me providing some value.
My best friend in the whole world all but abandoned me to do drugs and party all the time, since I didn't want a romantic/sexual relationship with him. He never messages me anymore.
My only other close friend, the one who rejected me, also has pretty much cut me out and refuses to see me or hang out with me at all anymore. Didn't stop him from asking me for laviscious photos though. Of course I denied this request, why would I indulge anyone who treated me so horribly. He also ignores me now, when we used to talk everyday.
All my housemates have their own lives and are tired of hearing my complaining. They all have loads of friends and are always busy.
The only person who will talk to me outside SS is the guy I dated for 2 years who repeatedly threatened to kick me out, insulted me, and hurt me in so many ways. Yet here I am, taking him back, terrified of being abandoned again if I talk too much about ctb or be honest about certain feelings and events.
Being a worthless cripple sucks, nobody wants to be around you. I am posting so much today, but I want to die so badly, and I have nowhere else to turn to.
I am so goddamn lonely. I wish I had family to sit with, not being forced to chat or provide entertainment, but simply to exist around with no expectations of me providing some value.
My best friend in the whole world all but abandoned me to do drugs and party all the time, since I didn't want a romantic/sexual relationship with him. He never messages me anymore.
My only other close friend, the one who rejected me, also has pretty much cut me out and refuses to see me or hang out with me at all anymore. Didn't stop him from asking me for laviscious photos though. Of course I denied this request, why would I indulge anyone who treated me so horribly. He also ignores me now, when we used to talk everyday.
All my housemates have their own lives and are tired of hearing my complaining. They all have loads of friends and are always busy.
The only person who will talk to me outside SS is the guy I dated for 2 years who repeatedly threatened to kick me out, insulted me, and hurt me in so many ways. Yet here I am, taking him back, terrified of being abandoned again if I talk too much about ctb or be honest about certain feelings and events.
Being a worthless cripple sucks, nobody wants to be around you. I am posting so much today, but I want to die so badly, and I have nowhere else to turn to.