Zoltiel
We're asleep in life's waiting room
- Jan 7, 2020
- 162
Hello everyone,
This is my first post on here, and I feel like I can relate so much to every single one of you. Everyone in my life seems so happy and normal, while I am enduring mental torture on a daily basis. It is refreshing to find this place and see that I am not alone.
To give a little background on myself, I was born in one of the former Soviet countries just around when it collapsed. My dad was a scientist so he searched for work abroad. So pretty much I moved to a new place/country every 3-4 years of my entire life. Every time I would make friends and finally fit into a group, it was all ripped away from me and I had to start over. I was pulled out of my last year of high school because my dad found a better job on the other side of the country, which pretty much left me sitting alone in my room every day for my senior year. I know this might not sound so bad, but I feel like I have never had a real home, no lifelong friends, no extended family, my close family even ended up moving again to the other opposite side of the country because my dad got a new job. I am a complete outcast. Everyone around me has friends they've grown up with, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. This was all torn away from me and I am completely fucked mentally because of it. Every part of my body is fucked up in some way. I have a mystery illness which gives me chest pains and gastritis, and the doctors keep telling me that I'm healthy. I have extreme anxiety where if some small thing happens I can't even go to sleep. I have had a fever about once a month for the last 2 years. I used to be hopeful that things would get better, but now I am realizing that they won't. I'm not sure I want to bring kids into this fucked up world, and I don't know if I'm even stable enough to handle a family.
So that brings me here. I have been researching the SN method, and am looking forward to going through with it.
Pleasure to meet all of you
This is my first post on here, and I feel like I can relate so much to every single one of you. Everyone in my life seems so happy and normal, while I am enduring mental torture on a daily basis. It is refreshing to find this place and see that I am not alone.
To give a little background on myself, I was born in one of the former Soviet countries just around when it collapsed. My dad was a scientist so he searched for work abroad. So pretty much I moved to a new place/country every 3-4 years of my entire life. Every time I would make friends and finally fit into a group, it was all ripped away from me and I had to start over. I was pulled out of my last year of high school because my dad found a better job on the other side of the country, which pretty much left me sitting alone in my room every day for my senior year. I know this might not sound so bad, but I feel like I have never had a real home, no lifelong friends, no extended family, my close family even ended up moving again to the other opposite side of the country because my dad got a new job. I am a complete outcast. Everyone around me has friends they've grown up with, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. This was all torn away from me and I am completely fucked mentally because of it. Every part of my body is fucked up in some way. I have a mystery illness which gives me chest pains and gastritis, and the doctors keep telling me that I'm healthy. I have extreme anxiety where if some small thing happens I can't even go to sleep. I have had a fever about once a month for the last 2 years. I used to be hopeful that things would get better, but now I am realizing that they won't. I'm not sure I want to bring kids into this fucked up world, and I don't know if I'm even stable enough to handle a family.
So that brings me here. I have been researching the SN method, and am looking forward to going through with it.
Pleasure to meet all of you
Last edited:
