I am so fed of being the rebound girl

[FireFox]

I am 27 and it makes me cry so much that I have never been genuinely wanted by a man like other women get have. All my life I have been the girl who never ever gets picked and every time a guy shows interest in me it's because he has split up with his girlfriend and needs someone to pass the time with. I have always been the rebound girl and feel incomplete as a woman because of it. Why am I always a magnet for men whose relationships have broken down and then leave once they get back with ex. I give all this love and care only for the men to discard me once they reunite with their ex girlfriend.

When I was 15 I feel in love with this boy in the Cadet club I belonged too. He was a bad boy who was getting into trouble . We were good friends and when he split up with his girlfriend who was also in cadets he got with me and we shared a kiss. When he got back with her he coldy told me I was a "mistake". Worst of all when it came out what he did with me he denied everything and painted me as crazy and liar. Some girls in cadets believed me because he did the same to them others in the club believed him and sided with him. In adulthood I have experienced the same too.

When I was at university in my second year I met a guy on campus. He was in final year and studied philosophy. We got so well because we are talking about politics and the fact I gave a MP a hard time during a Q&A session at the university hall when the MP came to vist the University. This guy gave me his number and we began talking. I asked him out to go for drink in the local cafe in university town. We were both messaging each other regularly and then at last minute he cancels our plans because he told me he still has " feelings for his ex"

The last man I met he was in his f*cking 50s. He made me feel so special in a way no man has ever done it was wonderful having a man give me all this attention and helping me with whatever I needed. I really thought he liked me I then worked out he stopped giving me attention and distancing himself from me because he got back together with his 55 year old on and off girlfriend. They have been on and off for over 20 f*cking years. He has permanently messed up my head in so many ways ( another long story) with his constant lying, mind games, gaslighting. He has a caused me so pain and made me feel worthless and scared to go near another man. This arsehole is one of the reasons why I struggle a lot mentally.

I loved him so much and all I ever was good to him but he just had no care for my feelings and he painted me to be crazy and himself the good guy to our boss and our colleagues at work.

I am so sick and tired of being rebound girl. I actually hate couples who are on and off and get with other people as a filler then reunite with their ex. I f*cking hate couples because they don't care about other people's feelings. I wish these arseholes sort out their own sh*t before getting involved with innocent people because we the rebounds we get hurt and have this pain.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I loved him so much

First time I've seen you use the past tense of "love" in one of your postings. Congratulations. That's a start.

 

[huntermellow]

i'm so sorry about everything you've been through :( i relate to a lot of what you're saying :(

 

[BlazingBob]

I've been the rebound guy a time or two and you're right it feels terrible. I've had women tell me that I'm good for a good time but nothing else. I'm almost 52 and never had a real relationship just lots of mini ones. I feel like a temporary employee. All I ever wanted was a wife and family of my own but life had other plans. Physical and mental illness prevented any of that. Fuck this life. I'm so done with it.

 

[username12345]

I am 27 and it makes me cry so much that I have never been genuinely wanted by a man like other women get have. All my life I have been the girl who never ever gets picked and every time a guy shows interest in me it's because he has split up with his girlfriend and needs someone to pass the time with. I have always been the rebound girl and feel incomplete as a woman because of it. Why am I always a magnet for men whose relationships have broken down and then leave once they get back with ex. I give all this love and care only for the men to discard me once they reunite with their ex girlfriend.

When I was 15 I feel in love with this boy in the Cadet club I belonged too. He was a bad boy who was getting into trouble . We were good friends and when he split up with his girlfriend who was also in cadets he got with me and we shared a kiss. When he got back with her he coldy told me I was a "mistake". Worst of all when it came out what he did with me he denied everything and painted me as crazy and liar. Some girls in cadets believed me because he did the same to them others in the club believed him and sided with him. In adulthood I have experienced the same too.

When I was at university in my second year I met a guy on campus. He was in final year and studied philosophy. We got so well because we are talking about politics and the fact I gave a MP a hard time during a Q&A session at the university hall when the MP came to vist the University. This guy gave me his number and we began talking. I asked him out to go for drink in the local cafe in university town. We were both messaging each other regularly and then at last minute he cancels our plans because he told me he still has " feelings for his ex"

The last man I met he was in his f*cking 50s. He made me feel so special in a way no man has ever done it was wonderful having a man give me all this attention and helping me with whatever I needed. I really thought he liked me I then worked out he stopped giving me attention and distancing himself from me because he got back together with his 55 year old on and off girlfriend. They have been on and off for over 20 f*cking years. He has permanently messed up my head in so many ways ( another long story) with his constant lying, mind games, gaslighting. He has a caused me so pain and made me feel worthless and scared to go near another man. This arsehole is one of the reasons why I struggle a lot mentally.

I loved him so much and all I ever was good to him but he just had no care for my feelings and he painted me to be crazy and himself the good guy to our boss and our colleagues at work.

I am so sick and tired of being rebound girl. I actually hate couples who are on and off and get with other people as a filler then reunite with their ex. I f*cking hate couples because they don't care about other people's feelings. I wish these arseholes sort out their own sh*t before getting involved with innocent people because we the rebounds we get hurt and have this pain.

First, don't get with people that could be your parents smh. If someone is so immature that they think someone young enough to be their kid is a good fit for them, they need to take some time to themselves. I know people say "well you're both adults" but in your 20s you've been an adult for how long, and they've been an adult for how long? It's just not right. I think it really sets the younger person up for being taken advantage of and abused.

But anyway, maybe you should try to talk to the people right away and make sure there is no one else? Just get their intentions if it's just for fun or if they are serious about you. I don't know if I am a rebound person but I do know a few people have tried to cheat on their SO with me smh. Also a dirty secret! That's a new thing now that's really fun and doesn't make me feel like shit.

Just know that if a person can't be serious about you and treat you the way you deserve it's their loss not yours.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I relate to this so much. I feel my relationships have all been about power and being taken advantage of. What I was left with was abuse

 

[divinemistress36]

Asshole people prey on vulerable people it sucks

 

[FireFox]

First time I've seen you use the past tense of "love" in one of your postings. Congratulations. That's a start.

@locked*n*loaded I fucking hate him he took away my ability to love healthily another man and now I can't have a normal relationship with a man ever. That's how badly he messed me up. He painted me to everyone as this crazy woman and himself the nice guy and now I feel like everyman sees me like that and I am scared to love another man.

Every guy I meet I am obessed with knowing all the details of their past lives, hobbies, relationship because if I asked questions maybe I would have not ended up in this situation.
He destroyed my confidence and my dignity. In the end I felt like a stupid kid playing an adults game.

I met another guy and now I fucked up everything with him because I drove him away with my intrusive questioning.

I used to be full of love and care now I am just a broken shell.

I've been the rebound guy a time or two and you're right it feels terrible. I've had women tell me that I'm good for a good time but nothing else. I'm almost 52 and never had a real relationship just lots of mini ones. I feel like a temporary employee. All I ever wanted was a wife and family of my own but life had other plans. Physical and mental illness prevented any of that. Fuck this life. I'm so done with it.

@BlazingBob you deserved so much better. I hate how society acts like its so easy to find a partner and blames you for not getting one.

Not everyone is lucky to get a loving partner and have a normal relationship. People like us for some reason we attract all the arseholes, the users and just terrible who exploit our loving sensitive personalities and use us for their own convenience.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Every guy I meet I am obessed with knowing all the details of their past lives, hobbies, relationship because if I asked questions maybe I would have not ended up in this situation.
He destroyed my confidence and my dignity. In the end I felt like a stupid kid playing an adults game.

I met another guy and now I fucked up everything with him because I drove him away with my intrusive questioning.

I used to be full of love and care now I am just a broken shell.

Couldn't you just not immediately start asking them questions about everything having to do with them? You know, think about what Marinette Dupain-Cheng would do and do the opposite.

 

[FireFox]

I relate to this so much. I feel my relationships have all been about power and being taken advantage of. What I was left with was abuse

@Lookingtoflyfree You deserved so much better. This is what I hate about society, people have NO regard for other peoples feelings and just treat people as disposable. Worst of all society tells us that it's part of life

No this is the problem we conditioned to accept and tolerate awful toxic behaviours nstead of challenging it and holding these arseholes accountable.

 

[cryptoinvestor]

I totally get you, i was used for sex more times than i can count, then discarded like an object. "Pumped and dumped" as we call it in crypto scams

 

[Georg]

Same. My whole life I was always just the "second-pick-guy" bc the Girls couldnt get the attention from the guy they were truly interested in or their boyfriend just broke up.

I f*cking hate couples because they don't care about other people's feelings. I wish these arseholes sort out their own sh*t before getting involved with innocent people because we the rebounds we get hurt and have this pain.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

@locked*n*loaded I fucking hate him he took away my ability to love healthily another man and now I can't have a normal relationship with a man ever. That's how badly he messed me up. He painted me to everyone as this crazy woman and himself the nice guy and now I feel like everyman sees me like that and I am scared to love another man.

Every guy I meet I am obessed with knowing all the details of their past lives, hobbies, relationship because if I asked questions maybe I would have not ended up in this situation.
He destroyed my confidence and my dignity. In the end I felt like a stupid kid playing an adults game.

I met another guy and now I fucked up everything with him because I drove him away with my intrusive questioning.

I used to be full of love and care now I am just a broken shell.

I know what he did to you (you've told us many times), and I never said everything was probably back to "hunky-dory" for you. Only made the comment that you used the past tense word "loved", instead of the present tense word "love", which IS something. I know you didn't do it on purpose. You did it inadvertently. I think it's a small first step. I'm sorry you weren't emotionally ready for another relationship, yet.

 

[FireFox]

Same. My whole life I was always just the "second-pick-guy" bc the Girls couldnt get the attention from the guy they were truly interested in or their boyfriend just broke up.

@Georg Enormous virtual hug

You deserved so much better.

This is what makes me so angry society treats relationships like a one big game and entertainment. It's so shocking how people love relationship drama whether its in the family, friendship groups, the workplace, the church or any environment. I realise now as I grow older talk shows and reality TV shows also treats relationships as public entertainment rather than peoples lives.

It's so fucking disgraceful because these are people's feelings.

 

[Necrosis]

Couldn't you just not immediately start asking them questions about everything having to do with them? You know, think about what Marinette Dupain-Cheng would do and do the opposite.

I don't want to some off as...cruel? But I do feel like this problem stems from vulnerability, lack of communication, and poor judgement of character. I don't think this girl is any less of a victim or that people aren't as cruel as she says in society but...sigh idk. Becoming so attached right away (beyond puppy love) is what sets up people to be easy victims. Attraction is complicated but the cycle seems like insanity.