I am sad I have to kms

[DaatiSimi]

I wish I didn't have to. I wish I was born with a normal and healthy brain.
I wish my decision was not also killing softly my brother and mother who love me so much.

I wish I had not fucked up so much in the past.

I wish I don't have to reincarnate.

I wish dying wasn't as expensive.

I'm sad I _have to_ kill myself. I wish I didn't had to.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that after all, it's such a cruel and unfair world and it's sad how so much suffering exists. It must be painful being in that situation where you feel like you have no other choice, but I do believe that reincarnation is just a fictional concept. There's no evidence that such a thing exists, I believe that death is the end of everything for us but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Freedom21]

I believe reincarnation is a choice you make in the afterlife. I think if u want to stay with the others you can. I think nobody even people who have lived a long life has learned all of life's lessons. I don't think it's forced. Idk this kinda gives me a little comfort.

 

[jessisme]

I wish I didn't have to. I wish I was born with a normal and healthy brain.
I wish my decision was not also killing softly my brother and mother who love me so much.

I wish I had not fucked up so much in the past.

I wish I don't have to reincarnate.

I wish dying wasn't as expensive.

I'm sad I _have to_ kill myself. I wish I didn't had to.

Same here, exactly. I wish I hadn't have fucked up so much in the past too and struggle with leaving behind my mother and brother who both love me. I know I am a disappointment to them. I love life and wish I didn't have to try to find a way to end it for myself especially since it seems like such a difficult and problematic undertaking. I only hope that when I do decide to ctb that it will be as peaceful and pain free as possible. My future is ruined. For me ctb is my only option, the only way.

 

[Unending]

I would go as far as to say that one can experience grief for themselves and self-mourn ahead of time if they really feel like they're going to do it.
I remember 2 years back crying heavily alone in my room as I KNEW that I had to and had absolutely no other choice than to do this.

I'm obviously still here but am just trying to say, I understand what you mean. It's a hard thing to go through.

 

[disillusion]

What is healthy normal brain ? Sometimes i feel like how can one be happy or Okay with living in this fucked up world? Yes people label us as mentally ill or suicidal or depressed but maybe they are the one who are ill or abnormal or sheeple. Who knows.

I do wish I could be happier yes but with my childhood and my past and current state which i cannot really escape …..
And I don't know. if i could choose my own parents or destiny.
I dont believe one can make one's destiny.
Everything feels like punishment. My own existence and everything surrounding me

 

[Kurushii]

It's a really sad thing to go through. When you're not given any actually good choices or anything too. I sometimes wish I didn't have to die, either. Crying and being sad over yourself knowing you have to die is such a torment. Thinking back on all the mistakes you made before in your life isn't all that fun, either. Sure everyone makes mistakes, but sometimes you can't help but to feel bad over some of them.