I am optimistic? What the hell is wrong with me?

[Blutsager]

So, as days have passed since it originally dawned on me that we are in what is perhaps the beginning of what will be the darkest night humanity has ever seen, and even if perhaps not the End Times, most certainly it's gonna be the closest we have ever been to that.

And under no circumstance do I see any reason, any evidence to think otherwise now than I did last week. Yet I feel... better? somewhat more optimistic. It completely pisses me off. Because I know my optimism will only be met by disappointment when reality finally materializes. Or even worse, should I get infected, or perhaps see other horrible things happen that will invariably lead to a horrendous death, I don't wanna stutter nor hesitate when the time comes to drink the SN. I don't want this childish, irrational optimism to hold me back from the reality that this is gonna become a living nightmare.

I ask this here, on this forum to all of you, since I know you, above anyone else, are people who are deeply familiar with optimism, hope, and both having and lacking such. What is wrong with me?. Should I continue on with this feeling? playing games and watching youtube videos, slowly forgetting the dire of this reality and believing that everything will be fine?.

Perhaps I should... perhaps this dumb optimism is for the best. I don't know. I wanna know if any of you does know the anwser.

 

[Sensei]

I'd say ride the wave. Maybe it will lift you up and carry you to the ocean. If you drown, you have at least ridden a wave.

 

[Blutsager]

I'd say ride the wave. Maybe it will lift you up and carry you to the ocean. If you drown, you have at least ridden a wave.

I am afraid of rising so high, for the fall will hurt. I prefer staying down, considering due to the circumstances the wall seems wet and slippery, and everything is crumbling, so there is no reason to believe I'll be able to stay above for too long. I prefer to live what short time may remain in my life, as I was last week... comfy in the darkness that I had down at the bottom, not aspiring to climb any further but simply sitting down here waiting for death to come pick me up.

 

[Sensei]

There's no point waiting for Death to pick you up. When your time comes, and that might be half a century from now, He'll find you wherever you are. Now go ride that fucking wave.

 

[Blutsager]

There's no point waiting for Death to pick you up. When your time comes, and that might be half a century from now, He'll find you wherever you are. Now go ride that fucking wave.

View attachment 31098

This brought a chuckle to my face.

Like, I know the vastness and size of the internet, the idea that everything already exists there, but nonetheless... that this pic exists on the internet is incredible

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I don't see that current optimism has anything to do with the future ability to drink SN in the moment it is needed, if that moment indeed comes.

I can't imagine bombs going off around me and still being optimistic, or cursing myself for having enjoyed that damned optimism because it's keeping me from recognizing with certainty that the bombs are indeed bombs.

 

[Brokenwings]

I'm happy for you. I hope you hold on to this as long as you can.