DeadlyLiving

DeadlyLiving

I can't fix it, is this where I give in?
Jan 1, 2019
152
I really have to get this off my chest and I don't have anyone I can tell this, so I am just gonna post it here. First of all, maybe some of you think I am going insane or something (honestly even I think this) but I am so looking forward to my next life. I am believing in rebirth and my biggest wish of all was always to have a normal and nice life. My life is too stained and my brain already flawed beyond being the slightest bit of normal so I won't be able to really have what I want the most.

I was always jealous of "normal peoples" problems like not being good at time management so that you don't know how you can do your homework, meet you friends and still have time for yourself and your girl/boyfriend or that your biggest problem in life is not knowing how to ask your crush out.
Instead I am sitting here and thinking how much of a failure I am, that I am way too fat and ugly to be loved, that I already failed at life since I dropped out of school and my struggle with depression & anxiety in generell.

While I know that if rebirth really (hopefully) is a thing I will have not the slightest clue about my former life and maybe I turn out even worse and instead of just being a danger to myself I am being a danger to other people as well and such, but if a god exist I am just hoping that I get a little blessing for my future life and if not, well the odds that my life turns out worse are probably very low.
But I still catch my self every now and then while reading comments about normal stuff or are just seeing people being happy and in love, I am picturing an unknown me and that this me could be happy and I am smiling and I feel a tiny bit of the pressure on my chest lifting. It's probably one of the things that keeps me sane, knowing that I still can get a chance at life.

If you got that far, thanks for reading. I really just had to tell that someone and share that little bubble of hope I carry with me.
 
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Koal

Koal

Student
Dec 16, 2018
101
I don't believe in rebirth, but it's always been my favourite version of an afterlife, I love the idea of infinite chances.
 
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LiveSlowDieFast

LiveSlowDieFast

Specialist
Nov 14, 2018
338
I don't believe in rebirth, but it's always been my favourite version of an afterlife, I love the idea of infinite chances.
I don't think I would want to be reborn in this world though. I imagine there is a very good chance the life one would reborn into here would be miserable in its own right, either due to personal circumstances or material conditions (war, poverty, famine etc. all exacerbated by the inescapable changes caused by climate change), or even both.

I think I'd prefer something like a personal heaven myself, whatever that may look like.
 
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Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,982
I understand this line of thinking, I just don't have much faith in it. Assuming we bail on this life, what good is going to come of it, assuming there is such a thing as reincarnation? I can only see some kind of penance or karmic justice on the cards. Even then, living in somewhere like Europe or the US is still a "luxury" compared to people living in shit huts and making $2 a day elsewhere in the world, so I would say the odds are against us for scoring a cushy life. A nice fantasy though.
 
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DeadlyLiving

DeadlyLiving

I can't fix it, is this where I give in?
Jan 1, 2019
152
I think I'd prefer something like a personal heaven myself, whatever that may look like.
That would be a nice thing as well. Personally, I don't think that death is scary, it's just that I am slightly afraid that there is nothing after it. Just blackness and your own thoughts. But I am sure that is not what awaits us after we die. Whatever there is, be it rebirth or a heaven or something totally different, in the end it's better than suffering in this life. I am really curious thought to see what comes after.

I understand this line of thinking, I just don't have much faith in it. Assuming we bail on this life, what good is going to come of it, assuming there is such a thing as reincarnation? I can only see some kind of penance or karmic justice on the cards. Even then, living in somewhere like Europe or the US is still a "luxury" compared to people living in shit huts and making $2 a day elsewhere in the world, so I would say the odds are against us for scoring a cushy life. A nice fantasy though.
Yeah, the earth as a whole is not really fair. A lot of your future depends on the country you are born in and there are definietly people who have it way worse than I do. But maybe it actually depends on your former lifespan which odds you have for the next life? Like you say - penance.
I am not a religious person at all, but I do have my beliefs and if there really is are godlike entities, I am pretty sure that they'd fully love and accept us even though we do mistakes, so I don't think "hell" exists.
But in the end, who really knows what comes after? I am just hopeful to finally find happiness after death.
 
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LiveSlowDieFast

LiveSlowDieFast

Specialist
Nov 14, 2018
338
That would be a nice thing as well. Personally, I don't think that death is scary, it's just that I am slightly afraid that there is nothing after it. Just blackness and your own thoughts. But I am sure that is not what awaits us after we die. Whatever there is, be it rebirth or a heaven or something totally different, in the end it's better than suffering in this life. I am really curious thought to see what comes after.

I'd say if there really is nothing that comes after death, then I don't think you'd be stuck with your thoughts. Nothingness for me implies that there is literally nothing, not even a "you" or "I" that could perceive this nothingness. It would mean there is no soul to be reborn, no consciousness that can outlive the body. Just a dreamless sleep from which you cannot wake up. It's hard for me to wrap my head around this, but that's ultimately what I think happens afterwards, although I'd prefer the personal heaven still.
 
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Redt2go

Redt2go

flower child
Jan 5, 2019
1,643
I love the idea of another chance at life but I pray to God everytime I sleep to srop my heart so I guess my afterlife is heaven or hell
 
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ReadyasEver

ReadyasEver

Elementalist
Dec 6, 2018
828
Nobody knows for certain what occurs after death. I prefer to think that you are stuck in your dreams, once you die, time becomes irrelevant as your existence ceases.
 
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DeadlyLiving

DeadlyLiving

I can't fix it, is this where I give in?
Jan 1, 2019
152
Nobody knows for certain what occurs after death. I prefer to think that you are stuck in your dreams, once you die, time becomes irrelevant as your existence ceases.
Stuck in your dreams like lucid dreaming? That you can build your own world and that you can basically do anything you ever wanted? It would be really comforting to have control over your "after life experience".

But honestly I can't comprehend the nothingness that some people think could occur. I mean you can't just stop existing there would still be something left? I am getting a headache right now trying to think about it, lol
 
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therhydler

therhydler

Enlightened
Dec 7, 2018
1,196
I also believe in rebirth and also want another chance... tbh I wouldnt even mind being an animal, at least I would not think. My mind is destroying me
 
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Redt2go

Redt2go

flower child
Jan 5, 2019
1,643
I also believe in rebirth and also want another chance... tbh I wouldnt even mind being an animal, at least I would not think. My mind is destroying me
ID have to be a VERY spoiled domesticated animal in a house full of domesticated animals
 
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LiveSlowDieFast

LiveSlowDieFast

Specialist
Nov 14, 2018
338
ID have to be a VERY spoiled domesticated animal in a house full of domesticated animals
Being a cat in a nice household seems pretty nice
 
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DeadlyLiving

DeadlyLiving

I can't fix it, is this where I give in?
Jan 1, 2019
152
Being a cat in a nice household seems pretty nice
Sleeping all day and always looking cute. Yep, sounds really nice to me as well. As long as you wouldn't be in a family with little kids that tug your tail or something
 
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Redt2go

Redt2go

flower child
Jan 5, 2019
1,643
Stuck in your dreams like lucid dreaming? That you can build your own world and that you can basically do anything you ever wanted? It would be really comforting to have control over your "after life experience".

But honestly I can't comprehend the nothingness that some people think could occur. I mean you can't just stop existing there would still be something left? I am getting a headache right now trying to think about it, lol
I used to hope for this but lately my dreams have caught up to my reality and im now sad even in my dreams lol. Only difference is at least when I sleep some times I talk to people from my past as opposed to talking to noone when I'm awake
 
TheCrow

TheCrow

Invisible Spirit
Sep 26, 2018
802
I understand this line of thinking, I just don't have much faith in it. Assuming we bail on this life, what good is going to come of it, assuming there is such a thing as reincarnation? I can only see some kind of penance or karmic justice on the cards. Even then, living in somewhere like Europe or the US is still a "luxury" compared to people living in shit huts and making $2 a day elsewhere in the world, so I would say the odds are against us for scoring a cushy life. A nice fantasy though.
I worry about this. As seriously fucked up as my life has become, at least I have a roof over my head, a warm place to sleep, food in my fridge, and no imminent safety threats. I've watched videos of children in Uganda where their parents have died and they literally sleep on a pile of garbage.
 
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