Help I am looking for a friend to talk to while I CTB with DDMP (Medical Aid in Dying).

[007Bob]

I am looking for a friend to talk to while I CTB with DDMP/A (Medical Aid in Dying). Would you be interested to be my friend in the last moments of my life? I CTB because I am brain damaged and body damaged by deadly psychiatric drugs that I have been - in vain- denouncing to health authorities for years. Long story short, I wrote a few pamphlets against psychiatry like the one attached and it got me arrested by the French police, detained in a psychiatry hospital for months and poisoned with the very same drugs that I have been denouncing to health authorities for years. I have now permanent brain damage, I was force sterilized by psychiatrists and my gut is severely damaged. I have nothing else to live for and life has no more meaning for me. I feel a lot of anger, frustration and disgust from what happened, but there is no way for me to heal from what happened. Hence CTB is the only option left to me. I plan to do DDMP mix and I should fall asleep within 10 minutes and die in the 5 to 12 hours range. I don't have anyone, no friend or family member, who could cope with assisting at my CTB. If interested, I can tell you more about me and my plans. Thanks for reading.
Example of my work

 

[Rubypie41]

So sorry for what has brought you to this point in your life, I truly am.

DDMA is one of my preferred methods.

Are you following it exactly in terms of medications and dosages, since the required amount of instant release Morphine is very difficult to obtain?

 

[z0will]

I am willing to spend the last moments of your life with you.

I hope you find your eternal peace with this.

 

[007Bob]

So sorry for what has brought you to this point in your life, I truly am.

DDMA is one of my preferred methods.

Are you following it exactly in terms of medications and dosages, since the required amount of instant release Morphine is very difficult to obtain?

Thank you for your comment. I couldn't get ahold of instant release Morphine, I only have the extended release form. I also couldn't get ahold of Digitalis powder and had to substitute with Digoxin pills which makes a lot of powder. It's not perfect but what can I do? I am desperate to CTB and I got what I could get ahold of which is already good. What's your opinion on my cocktail? Do you think it's going to work?

I am willing to spend the last moments of your life with you.

I hope you find your eternal peace with this.

Thank you so so much. I have a fear of dying and as I said in the intro, I am CTB because of unfair events that left me bitter and angry. I hope to find peace with an online friend who would be willing to understand my circumstances and hold (virtually) my hand in the last moments of my life. So thank you so so much for that!

 

[Rubypie41]

Thank you for your comment. I couldn't get ahold of instant release Morphine, I only have the extended release form. I also couldn't get ahold of Digitalis powder and had to substitute with Digoxin pills which makes a lot of powder. It's not perfect but what can I do? I am desperate to CTB and I got what I could get ahold of which is already good. What's your opinion on my cocktail? Do you think it's going to work?

I'm in a similar position to you and really don't know if it will work the same as what's used officially.

I have the following:

Digoxin tablets - 120,000mcg
Diazepam - More than the 1g used
Morphine - I have 1g of liquid Morphine, but they use 15g instant release Morphine officially
Amitriptyline - I have over 15g which is more than needed

So in my method, I'm short of Morphine by 14g. They use 15g instant release officially, which is just about impossible to obtain. Not sure if extended release will work the same. How many grams of extended release Morphine do you have?

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I am looking for a friend to talk to while I CTB with DDMP/A (Medical Aid in Dying). Would you be interested to be my friend in the last moments of my life? I CTB because I am brain damaged and body damaged by deadly psychiatric drugs that I have been - in vain- denouncing to health authorities for years. Long story short, I wrote a few pamphlets against psychiatry like the one attached and it got me arrested by the French police, detained in a psychiatry hospital for months and poisoned with the very same drugs that I have been denouncing to health authorities for years. I have now permanent brain damage, I was force sterilized by psychiatrists and my gut is severely damaged. I have nothing else to live for and life has no more meaning for me. I feel a lot of anger, frustration and disgust from what happened, but there is no way for me to heal from what happened. Hence CTB is the only option left to me. I plan to do DDMP mix and I should fall asleep within 10 minutes and die in the 5 to 12 hours range. I don't have anyone, no friend or family member, who could cope with assisting at my CTB. If interested, I can tell you more about me and my plans. Thanks for reading.
Example of my work

I'm more than happy to aid if i can happy to offer you company

 

[007Bob]

I'm in a similar position to you and really don't know if it will work the same as what's used officially.

I have the following:

Digoxin tablets - 120,000mcg
Diazepam - More than the 1g used
Morphine - I have 1g of liquid Morphine, but they use 15g instant release Morphine officially
Amitriptyline - I have over 15g which is more than needed

So in my method, I'm short of Morphine by 14g. They use 15g instant release officially, which is just about impossible to obtain. Not sure if extended release will work the same. How many grams of extended release Morphine do you have?

I have 15g of extended release Morphine. I am thinking about putting it in the Blender to break down the slow release cap coating before use. I got Rx ER Morphine as in the brand Skenan. I don't have ahold of Amitriptyline - I plan to use Propranolol instead. I may still get Amitriptyline and use 2g of Propranolol and 6g or 8g of Amitriptyline. When do you plan to CTB? I am looking for a friend to hold my hand in the last moments. Where are you based?

I'm more than happy to aid if i can happy to offer you company

Thank you so so much. I would love a friend to (virtually) hold my hand in my last moments. So thank you for that!

 

[Rubypie41]

I have 15g of extended release Morphine. I am thinking about putting it in the Blender to break down the slow release cap coating before use. I got Rx ER Morphine as in the brand Skenan. I don't have ahold of Amitriptyline - I plan to use Propranolol instead. I may still get Amitriptyline and use 2g of Propranolol and 6g or 8g of Amitriptyline. When do you plan to CTB? I am looking for a friend to hold my hand in the last moments. Where are you based?

Yes, I've read up extensively on the DDMA and DDMP method. DDMA is more effective than DDMP, as there were outliers where using Propranolol.

I'm not sure if crushing extended release makes them the same as instant. I don't think it would personally but don't know for sure. Depends if they are like Oxy where they put a gel like substance in the tablets to prevent people from crushing them into a powder.

I'm based in the UK.

 

[imnotsurewhy]

I m so incredibly sorry!the malpractice of those so called doctora is appaling i hope you find someone lovely to be your friend (i m not suggesting myself cause i m boring And annoying as hell lol)

 

[007Bob]

Yes, I've read up extensively on the DDMA and DDMP method. DDMA is more effective than DDMP, as there were outliers where using Propranolol.

I'm not sure if crushing extended release makes them the same as instant. I don't think it would personally but don't know for sure. Depends if they are like Oxy where they put a gel like substance in the tablets to prevent people from crushing them into a powder.

I'm based in the UK.

I'm based in France. Maybe we can get a rendezvous to DDMP/A together. I can help you with Morphine and you could help me with Amitriptyline.


Here is my research on DDMP vs DDMA:

Safest way to die (least pain and fast)

DDMP2: Digoxin 50 mg, Diazepam 1 gm, Morphine 15 gm, Propranolol 2 gm.
Time to death: 2h (average) to 39h (max)
D-DMP2: As above, but digoxin is given separately, 30 minutes before the other medications.
Time to death: 1.5h to 13h
DDMA: Digoxin 100 mg, Diazepam 1 gm, Morphine 15 gm, Amitriptyline 8 gm.
Time to death: 1.5h to 12.5h
D-DMA: As above, but digoxin is given separately, 30 minutes before the other medications.
Time to death: 1.5h to 4h
DDMAPh: Digoxin 100 mg, Diazepam 1 gm, Morphine 15 gm, Amitriptyline 8gm, Phenobarbital 5 gm.
Time to death: 1.1h to 5.1h
D-DMAPh: As above, but digoxin is given separately, 30 minutes before the other medications.
Time to death: 1.1h to 3.8h

DDMP2 vs D-DMP2: NOTE: The dash in D-DMP2 signifies a pause of 30 minutes between giving
the digitalis and the morphine/diazepam/propranolol. The reason is that without giving digitalis separately, the tiny amount of digitalis
(100 milligrams) gets lost amid the huge mass of the other meds (18,000 milligrams)—and the digitalis doesn't get absorbed. By using pre-digitalis, i.e. dig alone for
30 minutes, the dig is rapidly absorbed—providing more rapid and thorough digitalis toxicity.
Using Pre-digitalis (D-DMP2 vs. DDMP2), we cut the mean times to death by 33% compared with DDMP2.
D-DMP2 vs. D-DMA. Times to death
again dropped significantly by using D-DMA, now with 90% of deaths occurring in <2 hours. D-
DMA is both faster and more reliable than D-DMP2, and markedly better than DDMP2.
In summary: D-DMP2 improves DDMP2 by 33%. D-DMA improves D-DMP2 by another
33%. Compare D-DMA with DDMP2: It's 69% better—a very significant difference.
MOST SIGNIFICANTLY: The long time-to-death outliers have been markedly decreased with D-
DMA, both in total time to death and in frequency of long deaths. D-DMA has a shorter mean
time to death (1.1. hours) and maximum time to death (4.4 hours).
Times to death of >2 hours are now only 10% of cases (down from 34% with DDMP2 and 19%
with D-DMP2).

Additional ressources:
- https://www.acamaid.org/wp-content/...on-Protocols-for-Medical-Aid-in-Dying-1-1.pdf
- https://www.acamaid.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/12-5-19-DDMA-instead-of-DDMP2.pdf
- https://endoflifewa.org/wp-content/...r-Taking-Life-Ending-Medications-Jan-2020.pdf

 

[Rubypie41]

I'm based in France. Maybe we can get a rendezvous to DDMP/A together. I can help you with Morphine and you could help me with Amitriptyline.


Here is my research on DDMP vs DDMA:

Safest way to die (least pain and fast)

DDMP2: Digoxin 50 mg, Diazepam 1 gm, Morphine 15 gm, Propranolol 2 gm.
Time to death: 2h (average) to 39h (max)
D-DMP2: As above, but digoxin is given separately, 30 minutes before the other medications.
Time to death: 1.5h to 13h
DDMA: Digoxin 100 mg, Diazepam 1 gm, Morphine 15 gm, Amitriptyline 8 gm.
Time to death: 1.5h to 12.5h
D-DMA: As above, but digoxin is given separately, 30 minutes before the other medications.
Time to death: 1.5h to 4h
DDMAPh: Digoxin 100 mg, Diazepam 1 gm, Morphine 15 gm, Amitriptyline 8gm, Phenobarbital 5 gm.
Time to death: 1.1h to 5.1h
D-DMAPh: As above, but digoxin is given separately, 30 minutes before the other medications.
Time to death: 1.1h to 3.8h

DDMP2 vs D-DMP2: NOTE: The dash in D-DMP2 signifies a pause of 30 minutes between giving
the digitalis and the morphine/diazepam/propranolol. The reason is that without giving digitalis separately, the tiny amount of digitalis
(100 milligrams) gets lost amid the huge mass of the other meds (18,000 milligrams)—and the digitalis doesn't get absorbed. By using pre-digitalis, i.e. dig alone for
30 minutes, the dig is rapidly absorbed—providing more rapid and thorough digitalis toxicity.
Using Pre-digitalis (D-DMP2 vs. DDMP2), we cut the mean times to death by 33% compared with DDMP2.
D-DMP2 vs. D-DMA. Times to death
again dropped significantly by using D-DMA, now with 90% of deaths occurring in <2 hours. D-
DMA is both faster and more reliable than D-DMP2, and markedly better than DDMP2.
In summary: D-DMP2 improves DDMP2 by 33%. D-DMA improves D-DMP2 by another
33%. Compare D-DMA with DDMP2: It's 69% better—a very significant difference.
MOST SIGNIFICANTLY: The long time-to-death outliers have been markedly decreased with D-
DMA, both in total time to death and in frequency of long deaths. D-DMA has a shorter mean
time to death (1.1. hours) and maximum time to death (4.4 hours).
Times to death of >2 hours are now only 10% of cases (down from 34% with DDMP2 and 19%
with D-DMP2).

Additional ressources:
- https://www.acamaid.org/wp-content/...on-Protocols-for-Medical-Aid-in-Dying-1-1.pdf
- https://www.acamaid.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/12-5-19-DDMA-instead-of-DDMP2.pdf
- https://endoflifewa.org/wp-content/...r-Taking-Life-Ending-Medications-Jan-2020.pdf

Your research is basically the same as mine. I'm mainly struggling to get hold of the required Morphine and Phenobarbital. Think I've found some sourced of Phenobarbital on the DN markets.

Amitriptyline I have on prescription which I don't actually take anymore, so have stock piled it. I did also order a shit load of Amitriptyline from a place I found on the clear web, although they are on the DN too.

I just don't understand why such a massive amount of Morphine is required. The idea of this method is that the Morphine and Diazepam cause sedation, whilst the other medications (Digoxin/Amitriptyline) cause cardiac arrest whilst your in a deep deep sleep, so you don't feel anything.

I would have thought 1g of Morphine with a load of Diazepam would be enough to endure a deep sleep, so not quite sure why 15g of Morphine is absolutely necessary.

 

[007Bob]

Your research is basically the same as mine. I'm mainly struggling to get hold of the required Morphine and Phenobarbital. Think I've found some sourced of Phenobarbital on the DN markets.

Amitriptyline I have on prescription which I don't actually take anymore, so have stock piled it. I did also order a shit load of Amitriptyline from a place I found on the clear web, although they are on the DN too.

I just don't understand why such a massive amount of Morphine is required. The idea of this method is that the Morphine and Diazepam cause sedation, whilst the other medications (Digoxin/Amitriptyline) cause cardiac arrest whilst your in a deep deep sleep, so you don't feel anything.

I would have thought 1g of Morphine with a load of Diazepam would be enough to endure a deep sleep, so not quite sure why 15g of Morphine is absolutely necessary.

Diazepam is for sedation. Morphine is for the pain. Morphine is essential to the mix to have a painless death. After all your heart is dying so without the Morphine, it must be excruciating pain. I can get you the Morphine. I get it Rx quality from a vendor who collects it from legit patients who sell part of their Morphine pills to make money. I don't have access to Phenobarbital. The MAiD protocol asks for 5g. Adding Phenobarbital decreases the average time of death by 30min but doesn't significantly impact the maximum time of death.

I am looking for a friend to talk to while I CTB with DDMP/A (Medical Aid in Dying). Would you be interested to be my friend in the last moments of my life? I CTB because I am brain damaged and body damaged by deadly psychiatric drugs that I have been - in vain- denouncing to health authorities for years. Long story short, I wrote a few pamphlets against psychiatry like the one attached and it got me arrested by the French police, detained in a psychiatry hospital for months and poisoned with the very same drugs that I have been denouncing to health authorities for years. I have now permanent brain damage, I was force sterilized by psychiatrists and my gut is severely damaged. I have nothing else to live for and life has no more meaning for me. I feel a lot of anger, frustration and disgust from what happened, but there is no way for me to heal from what happened. Hence CTB is the only option left to me. I plan to do DDMP mix and I should fall asleep within 10 minutes and die in the 5 to 12 hours range. I don't have anyone, no friend or family member, who could cope with assisting at my CTB. If interested, I can tell you more about me and my plans. Thanks for reading.
Example of my work

Example of my work

 

[Rubypie41]

Diazepam is for sedation. Morphine is for the pain. Morphine is essential to the mix to have a painless death. After all your heart is dying so without the Morphine, it must be excruciating pain. I can get you the Morphine. I get it Rx quality from a vendor who collects it from legit patients who sell part of their Morphine pills to make money. I don't have access to Phenobarbital. The MAiD protocol asks for 5g. Adding Phenobarbital decreases the average time of death by 30min but doesn't significantly impact the maximum time of death.

Example of my work

Yes, Morphine is required for sedation, pain relief and respiratory depression. I've read some reports suggesting 200mg of Morphine can be fatal, so just seems crazy to be using 15g. Surely 1g would be enough, but just don't know. I have a 500ml of instant release liquid Morphine which = 1g. Was thinking of crushing my Digoxin, Diazepam and Amitriptyline into a powder, adding it to the 500ml bottle of Morphine and then just drinking it all.

 

[007Bob]

200mg of Morphine is not fatal since the brand Skenan comes in 200mg pills. Morphine is usually crushed into powder by drug users and injected in a vein. Morphine is almost instantly absorbed this way directly into the blood. But Morphine has a poor qualities for stomach absorption and will saturate opioid receptors in the intestines to slow motility. It means that in a MAiD protocol, you need a lot of Morphine because it's poorly absorbed by the gut. But you can't get an IV of Morphine during DDMA. Hence the 15g are justified. Earlier version of MAiD called for lower doses of morphine but I can't recall exactly how much because of my brain damage - but of top of my head it was in the 7-10g range and then it was increased to 15g in the later DDMP protocol.


Picture of Morphine 200mg pills prescribed by doctors: https://cdn.bcare.vn/resize_500x400/2021/11/16/chuyenkhoathuoc-skenan-lp.jpg

Yes, Morphine is required for sedation, pain relief and respiratory depression. I've read some reports suggesting 200mg of Morphine can be fatal, so just seems crazy to be using 15g. Surely 1g would be enough, but just don't know. I have a 500ml of instant release liquid Morphine which = 1g. Was thinking of crushing my Digoxin, Diazepam and Amitriptyline into a powder, adding it to the 500ml bottle of Morphine and then just drinking it all.

I think we can help eachother CTB. Ideally, I would like to DDMA with another DDMA to give me strength, resilience and peace. What do you think?

 

[Rubypie41]

200mg of Morphine is not fatal since the brand Skenan comes in 200mg pills. Morphine is usually crushed into powder by drug users and injected in a vein. Morphine is almost instantly absorbed this way directly into the blood. But Morphine has a poor qualities for stomach absorption and will saturate opioid receptors in the intestines to slow motility. It means that in a MAiD protocol, you need a lot of Morphine because it's poorly absorbed by the gut. But you can't get an IV of Morphine during DDMA. Hence the 15g are justified. Earlier version of MAiD called for lower doses of morphine but I can't recall exactly how much because of my brain damage - but of top of my head it was in the 7-10g range and then it was increased to 15g in the later DDMP protocol.


Picture of Morphine 200mg pills prescribed by doctors: https://cdn.bcare.vn/resize_500x400/2021/11/16/chuyenkhoathuoc-skenan-lp.jpg

I think we can help eachother CTB. Ideally, I would like to DDMA with another DDMA to give me strength, resilience and peace. What do you think?

How do you mean, to DDMA together? How would that work when I'm in the UK and you in France?

 

[007Bob]

How do you mean, to DDMA together? How would that work when I'm in the UK and you in France?

Would you like to take a trip to Paris to meet me? Unfortunately I'm too brain damaged to travel, otherwise I would have met you in the UK.

 

[007Bob]

I m so incredibly sorry!the malpractice of those so called doctora is appaling i hope you find someone lovely to be your friend (i m not suggesting myself cause i m boring And annoying as hell lol)

Thank you for your compassion

 

[Esokabat]

Diazepam is for sedation. Morphine is for the pain. Morphine is essential to the mix to have a painless death. After all your heart is dying so without the Morphine, it must be excruciating pain. I can get you the Morphine. I get it Rx quality from a vendor who collects it from legit patients who sell part of their Morphine pills to make money. I don't have access to Phenobarbital. The MAiD protocol asks for 5g. Adding Phenobarbital decreases the average time of death by 30min but doesn't significantly impact the maximum time of death.

Example of my work

Sorry for being very honest, on the positive side, I think your document contains a lot of truth, a lot of interesting and useful information, on the negative side, it is written with a writing style and emotional volatility whereby it comes across as a bit crazy and not something regular people would take seriously. I realize this is too late but I would have created a draft, and then I would have asked a friend, who is less emotionally attached to the subject, to create a document out of it. If the document gives out "crazy" vibes, nobody will take it seriously, even if it contains interesting and useful information. Sometimes the delivery of the topic is just as important as the content. Your document shows a lot of passion, but lowering the passion and emotionality of the document would have made it more convincing and more readable. Sometimes you make more impact with "less", then with "too much". When you are too emotionally close to a subject, it is best to ask a friend to edit it for you and lessen the crazy vibes. Too much crazy vibes, and you lose your audience, regardless how valid the points you make. I do agree with the content though, but the delivery is not effective, no normal person will take your document seriously. Even though it has a lit of truths in it

 

[007Bob]

Diazepam is for sedation. Morphine is for the pain. Morphine is essential to the mix to have a painless death. After all your heart is dying so without the Morphine, it must be excruciating pain. I can get you the Morphine. I get it Rx quality from a vendor who collects it from legit patients who sell part of their Morphine pills to make money. I don't have access to Phenobarbital. The MAiD protocol asks for 5g. Adding Phenobarbital decreases the average time of death by 30min but doesn't significantly impact the maximum time of death.

Example of my work

Sorry for being very honest, on the positive side, I think your document contains a lot of truth, a lot of interesting and useful information, on the negative side, it is written with a writing style and emotional volatility whereby it comes across as a bit crazy and not something regular people would take seriously. I realize this is too late but I would have created a draft, and then I would have asked a friend, who is less emotionally attached to the subject, to create a document out of it. If the document gives out "crazy" vibes, nobody will take it seriously, even if it contains interesting and useful information. Sometimes the delivery of the topic is just as important as the content. Your document shows a lot of passion, but lowering the passion and emotionality of the document would have made it more convincing and more readable. Sometimes you make more impact with "less", then with "too much". When you are too emotionally close to a subject, it is best to ask a friend to edit it for you and lessen the crazy vibes. Too much crazy vibes, and you lose your audience, regardless how valid the points you make. I do agree with the content though, but the delivery is not effective, no normal person will take your document seriously. Even though it has a lit of truths in it

Thank you for your feedback. I definitely want to CTB now. I feel worthless and stupid. Yes it's too late now.