Help I am in agony. Someone tell me how to get N.

[kommsussertod]

Starving myself isn't working because people are noticing and someone even called the cops. I can't do this. Nothing makes me happy. I've sat in one place trying to get the fucking motivation just to fucking do something and I can't. It's been this way for FUCKING 6 YEARS! I can't do it. I can't. I can't. Fuck hotlines. Fuck psych wards. Fuck therapy. I just want to be ok but nothing makes me feel ok. Every moment is like I'm being drowned. I need N. I need it asap and I don't know where to go and I can't drive to Mexico to get it.

 

[INTJme]

Congrats, now you're a prime candidate for being scammed. As tempting as it may seem, ignore any dms that come your way offering you stuff you know it's almost impossible to get.

I've been where you are. At age 20 and then again at 30 and 31. I've lost my fair share of money too out of desperation to acquire the elixir that would put all my struggles to rest. It's not an easy road to get out of here, unfortunately. But keeping your head above the water will surely help more than running wild.

 

[kommsussertod]

Congrats, now you're a prime candidate for being scammed. As tempting as it may seem, ignore any dms that come your way offering you stuff you know it's almost impossible to get.

I figured it's impossible to get it here. I'll try Visine again.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

There is a Suicide Resource Compilation. There are also other methods that r reliable and better than Visine. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Yavannah]

I figured it's impossible to get it here. I'll try Visine again.

i will try visine too once i can get my fingers on it - wishing you luck..

 

[unabletocope]

Go for SN over N, it's more obtainable

 

[UKscotty]

N doesn't exist, it's not made anymore.

It's available under different brand names though.

 

[calebzz1]

N doesn't exist, it's not made anymore.

It's available under different brand names though.

Are those brands acquirable in the U.S.?

 

[Ww42]

Are those brands acquirable in the U.S.?

Nope. From what ive read, N is only available in south america and mexico mainly now. Its extremely hard to find

 

[kommsussertod]

i will try visine too once i can get my fingers on it - wishing you luck..

It's a gentle experience, your blood pressure drops and you begin to just slip away. It feels cold so have blankets nearby. Make peace with everyone you can if you decide to do this

 

[Yavannah]

It's a gentle experience, your blood pressure drops and you begin to just slip away. It feels cold so have blankets nearby. Make peace with everyone you can if you decide to do this

its sounds very peaceful..but also too good to be true
i was of the impression that only older people with pre existing health condition like a weak heart or damaged kidneys will be successful with this method.. but im still wanting to try it since i don't have any access or the cognitive ability to do any other method :(
im already suffering from chronic low blood pressure, so i guess thats a plus?
can you share about your experience with visine?
were you rescued or you aborted the attempt?
ignore if these questions are too personal

 

[sanitystruggle]

its sounds very peaceful..but also too good to be true
i was of the impression that only older people with pre existing health condition like a weak heart or damaged kidneys will be successful with this method.. but im still wanting to try it since i don't have any access or the cognitive ability to do any other method :(
im already suffering from chronic low blood pressure, so i guess thats a plus?
can you share about your experience with visine?
were you rescued or you aborted the attempt?
ignore if these questions are too personal

Search the forums - there are quiet a few negative experiences with visine and not a lot in the way of successes. I heard of it's use in a number of murders and wondered if it might be useable but reading the experience of other users here I'm doubtful.

 

[Demian]

I tried 21 grams of phenobarbital and 3 grams of morphine, but I panicked and was saved.

I also wanted N or a gun, but it's impossible, so what I have left is to go again with the morphine + phenobarbital + alcohol and not panic. But I confess that I'm afraid of doing it again, being saved and having sequelae.

 

[letsgetittogo]

Starving myself isn't working because people are noticing and someone even called the cops. I can't do this. Nothing makes me happy. I've sat in one place trying to get the fucking motivation just to fucking do something and I can't. It's been this way for FUCKING 6 YEARS! I can't do it. I can't. I can't. Fuck hotlines. Fuck psych wards. Fuck therapy. I just want to be ok but nothing makes me feel ok. Every moment is like I'm being drowned. I need N. I need it. I need it asap and I don't know where to go and I can't drive to Mexico to get it.

PM me, I can't sell you anything, and I also don't have any sources to get it online.

I DO have a decent knowledge of TJ and I've met a lot of people who've gone to Peru. I can point you In the right direction if you're down to travel at some point;

Edit: I'm an idiot, and just saw you can't travel internationally :/ I'm sorry man

 

[rozeske]

I would forget N and move on to other methods.

 

[Yavannah]

Search the forums - there are quiet a few negative experiences with visine and not a lot in the way of successes. I heard of it's use in a number of murders and wondered if it might be useable but reading the experience of other users here I'm doubtful.

i have read these experiences many times
i know that its unreliable and painful but im desperate and wan't to at least give it a try.
seems like it only works if the person DONT WANT TO DIE

 

[kommsussertod]

its sounds very peaceful..but also too good to be true
i was of the impression that only older people with pre existing health condition like a weak heart or damaged kidneys will be successful with this method.. but im still wanting to try it since i don't have any access or the cognitive ability to do any other method :(
im already suffering from chronic low blood pressure, so i guess thats a plus?
can you share about your experience with visine?
were you rescued or you aborted the attempt?
ignore if these questions are too personal

Every time I've tried to end my life, I've been the only support I had :/ basically I drank one standard bottle and went to sleep as my body got numb. I either woke up and had to pretend I was fine (lived with family) or the sudden bodily sensations put my brain into survival mode and I panicked and called 911. the first time I tried was peaceful. I was sure I was going to die but I didn't. So I awoke and cried. I've always been kinda malnourished so that's probably why it affected me more rather than a healthier person

 

[Yavannah]

Every time I've tried to end my life, I've been the only support I had :/ basically I drank one standard bottle and went to sleep as my body got numb. I either woke up and had to pretend I was fine (lived with family) or the sudden bodily sensations put my brain into survival mode and I panicked and called 911. the first time I tried was peaceful. I was sure I was going to die but I didn't. So I awoke and cried. I've always been kinda malnourished so that's probably why it affected me more rather than a healthier person

im so sorry you had to go through this alone :(
pretending to be fine after a suicide attempt sounds soul crushing
i think im going to drink a few bottles at once once im reaching rock bottom again..
i hope we both find peace either in death or living

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

You don't have any privacy? If you don't drink it'll be 7 days or less. Friend of mine's father decided it was his time to go, it took him over 2 months to die from not eating, because he kept drinking. If he didn't drink he would have been gone faster.
You don't have any privacy? If you don't drink it'll be 7 days or less. Friend of mine's father decided it was his time to go, it took him over 2 months to die from not eating, because he kept drinking. If he didn't drink he would have been gone faster.

 

[YosemiteGrrl]

Starving myself isn't working because people are noticing and someone even called the cops. I can't do this. Nothing makes me happy. I've sat in one place trying to get the fucking motivation just to fucking do something and I can't. It's been this way for FUCKING 6 YEARS! I can't do it. I can't. I can't. Fuck hotlines. Fuck psych wards. Fuck therapy. I just want to be ok but nothing makes me feel ok. Every moment is like I'm being drowned. I need N. I need it asap and I don't know where to go and I can't drive to Mexico to get it.

I hear you. Me too.