LonelyKitten
Seeking one final escape
- Aug 13, 2023
- 284
Holy jesus.
I have been released??
I want to post about my experience as it relates to Sectioning and Beachy Head, so it may contain useful information for folks having to deal with those things in the UK.
Here's the other threads:
Brief re-summary:
I wanted to visit Beachy Head, got put on Section 136 -> assessment for Section 2.
S136 expires after 24 hours, since no ward beds were available the A&E kept me either unlawfully or under legal grey area grounds.
For 7 days.
Th Oct 5th 11 PM - Fr Oct 6th 11 PM was S136, I got out today Fr Oct 13th.
So as y'all heard, I'd been resisting and whining every single day I was held, preferring to die rather than get transferred to the ward.
(being kept in psych ward is huge trauma for me cuz happened as a child when I came out as trans)
Today I was completely dejected and had honestly given up on freedom, be it via death or release.
I called a solicitor anyway about the Sectioning/detention.
So I don't remember the details completely perfectly as everything just happened so damn quick, so this is just a jumbled mess of info points:
First I give them information, and apparently they contacted the hospital, then called me back.
The person from the solicitor's line misunderstood that the S136 is still active or was extended (because I said Thursday, but that was *last* Thursday).
I explain the exact dates and info more clearly.
They said since I'm not formally on the Section 2 yet they can't fully represent me yet (which apparently might've been free?).
Okay, sounds like I'll go no matter what, but I can have legal help once I'm thrown in.
They said they'd review things with the solicitor themselves and get back to me within the day.
What happened very shortly after that I cannot comprehend.
Suddenly, an actual doctor comes in, a new one.
With a social worker I'd seen before.
The strangest part of all was, he said, oh, someone called saying they were my family and were concerned about me being here (???).
They wanted to move me to the medical ward (not mental) from A&E, and said I can speak with him and another social worker (new one I hadn't seen before), within the hour.
He tries to get me to open up one more time, tell my story openly.
I'd been very defensive and secretive about everything because I tried to treat them like cops, you know, the less you say?
What was different this time is that no matter as I keep being apprehensive and the conversation drags, this doctor was not cold or left mid conversation - it almost felt as if he was trying to get me to say things in favor of my release?
So I reluctantly go to the medical ward, making sure at every step that I know the path back and am free to physically leave.
Convo starts.
SUDDENLY!
I am listened to, and can fully go off!
So I give them my best points I can think of.
-Had a return flight ticket, I missed it because they held me. They said I had a one-way ticket as part of the reasoning behind the initial Sectioning.
-I'd been there for a week.
Never hurt myself or left without giving notice, despite having minimal supervision, and learning all the ins and outs of the A&E by that point (I could easily walk out the front door within like, 3-5 minutes at any point)
-I love to travel, been to a ton of countries.
Recently Germany has a 49 € train ticket for the whole country. Within weeks I went to almost every part, all across. I showed how on the map, a place near the sea I went to.
How I found it disappointing, and how Germany is mostly landlocked, so I couldn't get to see the sea there very well.
-So with that I had an interest to see the sea - I'd been to UK twice, it's cheap to travel there and I semi know my way around, then I learned of Beachy Head.
I am kinda goth (noticeable in my irl clothing) and have long held a fascination with the macabre (because I love life so much!) - so Beachy Head peaked my interest the most as a place that is not just pretty for viewing the sea, but has such a strikingly opposing connotation as a place where many die. (of course stating that I have no clear intention of hurting myself or ctbing, *wink wink*)
-I explain I'm fucking weird and do everything strangely to wave away my odd profile.
All of this is... 'technically' true!
And, I can't believe it. They accept it??
The doctor keeps saying "yeah you definitely don't need to be here".
They ask me for a basic plan, which ended up just saying I have friends in UK I might visit, I can buy a flight home, and I'll just sleep a night in Eastbourne to plan where to go next.
Doctor tells everyone I'm not under Section and free to go.
The social worker drives me to a hotel and pays for a one-night stay. Really fancy looking place actually.
We had a nice chat on the way, cuz she's from America, too!
What the hell.
If we look at the raw facts.
This could've turned into imprisonment and deportation. (they kept saying "repatriate" when I asked about longer term, and previously refused all my offers of me just going to the airport and leaving. I was actually on the way to Gatwick and could've gotten there with just one train when the police stopped and brought me back after I left yesterday)
Instead, I had, on the positive end, a whole week worth of genuinely nice food, diazepam whenever I wanted it, and a private, comfy room all to myself. Could charge my electronics and had full internet the whole time.
Of course, I spoke about the negatives ad nauseum. Being detained against my will, supervised and checked on fairly often, having to be paranoid about any single thing I say or do, not knowing what'll happen to me next etc etc.
Now they even paid me a hotel room.
??????
My luck is once again off the damn charts.
I swear to god that lawyer must've pulled some Saul Goodman or Phoenix Wright shit on the phone.
There is no way they suddenly believed me, or that I made some kind of good enough argument.
Some level of legal threat must've done the trick here.
Even the social worker that drove me to the hotel found went kinda like "what an adventure you had huh? "
So that is my ridiculous story.
I am now fully free again.
What do I do with my freedom?
God I don't even know anymore.
Life is so damn crazy.
I'm still scared. I'm still afraid of re-victimization.
But maybe this shows I am lucky, or even strong enough, to fight it when it does happen?
Maybe that means I don't have to die to stay safe.
I don't know. All this threw me off center.
I still don't have anywhere long-term safe to go.
I wish I had more time to think. But I just don't.
Maybe I visit my friend in the UK.
He said during this he'd love to see me if I can come to him.
Maybe I just go where the wind takes me.
Maybe I just keep listening to my instincts.
It seems that following them works out somehow, for no discernable reason whatsoever.
Maybe these instincts can keep me safe from the suffering I fear, even safer than death itself?
Thank you all so, so much for your support during all this. I wouldn't have made it out, or stayed "sane", without that.
As far as Beachy Head is concerned, for myself and others:
It is heavily patrolled.
They warned me to go back there.
I kinda wanna stick it to them all and go anyway, but I'd probably just get detained again.
The social worker tipped me off that apparently since COVID, Beachy Head had went much deeper as far as the whole ctb-spot thing goes.
I guess to safely use it as a method you'd need to be very good at masking, and ideally arrive in a car.
Hope this is of use or interest to anyone. Cheers.
I have been released??
I want to post about my experience as it relates to Sectioning and Beachy Head, so it may contain useful information for folks having to deal with those things in the UK.
Here's the other threads:
I got sectioned. Scared
Well guess who's not the brightest bulb. I got myself sectioned. 136. You see, I'm terrible at lying, because it feels inherently wrong to me. With police specifically I worry it can be a crime. And tbh I'm really lonely atm so I'm all vulnerable to the comforting speak. I really want to...
sanctioned-suicide.net
Rare opportunity to CTB before ward (UK)
Heyo. I uh, exploded in my other thread. I'm overall a little calmer now. Terrified on a rational level, but trying my best to try to brainstorm the situation for an escape, and take moments here and there to self-care a little to re-balance emotions. I got Section 136, then a mental health...
sanctioned-suicide.net
Brief re-summary:
I wanted to visit Beachy Head, got put on Section 136 -> assessment for Section 2.
S136 expires after 24 hours, since no ward beds were available the A&E kept me either unlawfully or under legal grey area grounds.
For 7 days.
Th Oct 5th 11 PM - Fr Oct 6th 11 PM was S136, I got out today Fr Oct 13th.
So as y'all heard, I'd been resisting and whining every single day I was held, preferring to die rather than get transferred to the ward.
(being kept in psych ward is huge trauma for me cuz happened as a child when I came out as trans)
Today I was completely dejected and had honestly given up on freedom, be it via death or release.
I called a solicitor anyway about the Sectioning/detention.
So I don't remember the details completely perfectly as everything just happened so damn quick, so this is just a jumbled mess of info points:
First I give them information, and apparently they contacted the hospital, then called me back.
The person from the solicitor's line misunderstood that the S136 is still active or was extended (because I said Thursday, but that was *last* Thursday).
I explain the exact dates and info more clearly.
They said since I'm not formally on the Section 2 yet they can't fully represent me yet (which apparently might've been free?).
Okay, sounds like I'll go no matter what, but I can have legal help once I'm thrown in.
They said they'd review things with the solicitor themselves and get back to me within the day.
What happened very shortly after that I cannot comprehend.
Suddenly, an actual doctor comes in, a new one.
With a social worker I'd seen before.
The strangest part of all was, he said, oh, someone called saying they were my family and were concerned about me being here (???).
They wanted to move me to the medical ward (not mental) from A&E, and said I can speak with him and another social worker (new one I hadn't seen before), within the hour.
He tries to get me to open up one more time, tell my story openly.
I'd been very defensive and secretive about everything because I tried to treat them like cops, you know, the less you say?
What was different this time is that no matter as I keep being apprehensive and the conversation drags, this doctor was not cold or left mid conversation - it almost felt as if he was trying to get me to say things in favor of my release?
So I reluctantly go to the medical ward, making sure at every step that I know the path back and am free to physically leave.
Convo starts.
SUDDENLY!
I am listened to, and can fully go off!
So I give them my best points I can think of.
-Had a return flight ticket, I missed it because they held me. They said I had a one-way ticket as part of the reasoning behind the initial Sectioning.
-I'd been there for a week.
Never hurt myself or left without giving notice, despite having minimal supervision, and learning all the ins and outs of the A&E by that point (I could easily walk out the front door within like, 3-5 minutes at any point)
-I love to travel, been to a ton of countries.
Recently Germany has a 49 € train ticket for the whole country. Within weeks I went to almost every part, all across. I showed how on the map, a place near the sea I went to.
How I found it disappointing, and how Germany is mostly landlocked, so I couldn't get to see the sea there very well.
-So with that I had an interest to see the sea - I'd been to UK twice, it's cheap to travel there and I semi know my way around, then I learned of Beachy Head.
I am kinda goth (noticeable in my irl clothing) and have long held a fascination with the macabre (because I love life so much!) - so Beachy Head peaked my interest the most as a place that is not just pretty for viewing the sea, but has such a strikingly opposing connotation as a place where many die. (of course stating that I have no clear intention of hurting myself or ctbing, *wink wink*)
-I explain I'm fucking weird and do everything strangely to wave away my odd profile.
All of this is... 'technically' true!
And, I can't believe it. They accept it??
The doctor keeps saying "yeah you definitely don't need to be here".
They ask me for a basic plan, which ended up just saying I have friends in UK I might visit, I can buy a flight home, and I'll just sleep a night in Eastbourne to plan where to go next.
Doctor tells everyone I'm not under Section and free to go.
The social worker drives me to a hotel and pays for a one-night stay. Really fancy looking place actually.
We had a nice chat on the way, cuz she's from America, too!
What the hell.
If we look at the raw facts.
This could've turned into imprisonment and deportation. (they kept saying "repatriate" when I asked about longer term, and previously refused all my offers of me just going to the airport and leaving. I was actually on the way to Gatwick and could've gotten there with just one train when the police stopped and brought me back after I left yesterday)
Instead, I had, on the positive end, a whole week worth of genuinely nice food, diazepam whenever I wanted it, and a private, comfy room all to myself. Could charge my electronics and had full internet the whole time.
Of course, I spoke about the negatives ad nauseum. Being detained against my will, supervised and checked on fairly often, having to be paranoid about any single thing I say or do, not knowing what'll happen to me next etc etc.
Now they even paid me a hotel room.
??????
My luck is once again off the damn charts.
I swear to god that lawyer must've pulled some Saul Goodman or Phoenix Wright shit on the phone.
There is no way they suddenly believed me, or that I made some kind of good enough argument.
Some level of legal threat must've done the trick here.
Even the social worker that drove me to the hotel found went kinda like "what an adventure you had huh? "
So that is my ridiculous story.
I am now fully free again.
What do I do with my freedom?
God I don't even know anymore.
Life is so damn crazy.
I'm still scared. I'm still afraid of re-victimization.
But maybe this shows I am lucky, or even strong enough, to fight it when it does happen?
Maybe that means I don't have to die to stay safe.
I don't know. All this threw me off center.
I still don't have anywhere long-term safe to go.
I wish I had more time to think. But I just don't.
Maybe I visit my friend in the UK.
He said during this he'd love to see me if I can come to him.
Maybe I just go where the wind takes me.
Maybe I just keep listening to my instincts.
It seems that following them works out somehow, for no discernable reason whatsoever.
Maybe these instincts can keep me safe from the suffering I fear, even safer than death itself?
Thank you all so, so much for your support during all this. I wouldn't have made it out, or stayed "sane", without that.
As far as Beachy Head is concerned, for myself and others:
It is heavily patrolled.
They warned me to go back there.
I kinda wanna stick it to them all and go anyway, but I'd probably just get detained again.
The social worker tipped me off that apparently since COVID, Beachy Head had went much deeper as far as the whole ctb-spot thing goes.
I guess to safely use it as a method you'd need to be very good at masking, and ideally arrive in a car.
Hope this is of use or interest to anyone. Cheers.
Last edited: