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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,206
The more I sleep, the more I don't want to wake up. But the body (while alive) can't sleep forever. I want to sleep forever and not wake up and I have N, now, so there is no excuse not too. I have been postponing my last affairs. However, I now realise that it is now or never. Once that is over then: organising, getting rid of stuff and cleaning there is not much left to do. After all the emotional pain of screaming and crying over the weeks a lot of those feelings have now turned to numbness. My mind must be settling into the truth and nothing really matters anymore. This is all a dream within a dream. It feels silly, to me, to just live to kill time. No point in getting older and more frustrated when I can just go to sleep and never wake up again. At least, that's how I feel about it.
 
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PlushieLover

PlushieLover

XII - THE HANGED MAN
Mar 24, 2021
118
Sleep is just free trial of death. Jokes aside, I hope that dying is actually just like being asleep, I don't want to be reincarnated as a pug or something.
 
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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,206
Sleep is just free trial of death. Jokes aside, I hope that dying is actually just like being asleep, I don't want to be reincarnated as a pug or something.
lol a well loved pug might be fun. To be honest I am not sure if there is an afterlife, re-incarnation (the worst) or just enter a void of eternal sleep. It's not for me to decide though. I am open to whatever, not like I have a choice not to haha.
 
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GentleJerk

GentleJerk

Carrot juice pimp.
Dec 14, 2021
1,372
I feel like we are going through a lot of similar motions. It sounds really heavy, your words make so much sense, and while I wish neither of us were in this situation, on the downlow I feel kind of glad that there are some people out there going through something very similar to me. It's... strangely comforting.

I know nothing about this is easy, but it sounds like you don't have too much life baggage keeping you trapped, other than the usual earthly possessions and such. That's a good position to be in at least. Sorry if that sounds insensitive in some way.

I hope you can be free from stress as much as possible, now and in the future.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
44,982
The way that I see it, all that life is, is just passing time until we eventually die. Life is so temporary and meaningless after all and nothing really matters. We just exist for the sake of existing. I am completely at peace with the thought of dying as it is inevitable for us all anyway and I see it as being the end to all suffering. I see no point to existing for many more miserable decades. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
 
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