Story I am falling...

[OhOreo]

I feel myself slipping back into where I once was...

Over the past few months I have turned my life around: I started exercising more, doing more healthy things, stopped sh and adopted more healthier ways to deal with my emotions. But over the past week my mood has dropped significantly and over the past few weeks I have noticed more off moments than usual. I have started to sh again which I resisted for many months and want to stop, my overall demeanor towards my emotional status is very defeatist.

I want to be okay but all and every attempt over the past years has been futile or at least only temporary, this doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying though, I am not at that point yet but i foresee myself getting to that point again if i continue on the trajectory I am on. Which is why I know I need help.

I want help and the best method I can think of is to visit my local A&E and ask to speak to mental health services and go from there. I feel I need medications to help me calm me when I get distressed because it is clear to me that I can not help my self consistently and an anti-depressant as well as someone to talk to although I am thinking of going private as it seems adult mental health isn't all that. I would just consult my doctor but we have a history to say the least and last time we spoke he only gave me one weeks worth of my anti-depressant medication because I might overdose on it, righttttt.

I really want to advocate for myself like I once could but it is a lot harder than it seems, for me it is this irrational fear that I will be judged or ridiculed, I could open up to a friend and get support from them but I don't know if I could do that either, I have never done that and that would be even harder than going to A&E on my own, so that isn't really my first choice.

 

[BPD Barbie]

You could always change your doctor and see someone else. Don't feel like you're failing love, you're not, you've just hit a dip in the road, you recognise this dip and want some help to get through it. That's normal and understandable, don't be too hard on yourself

 

[CuddleHug]

I would listen without judgement if you'd like to talk in PMs. I'm not a professional and can't give any actual advice, but if you need to just get it all out I'm here for you. Sometimes it's easier to open up when the other person is a complete stranger.

Since you are new here, you'll have to post a bit more before PMs open up. I'll be here when and if you want to talk

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

like barbie said, you might benefit from a different doctor. "you might overdose on these" is a horrible justification for only giving you one week's worth of antidepressants.

i'm sure you've heard this a million times, but recovery isn't a linear path. you're going to have some bumps along the way, and there's nothing to be ashamed of about that.

we're here for you, whether it's to listen to give advice.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Bets thing I can say is please don't lose sight of any progress you did make. See this as a new set of challenges rather than you losing progress and facing old ones again. Slipping back doesn't negate the achievements you made. It can be easy to feel like you're back at square one but you're not at all.