I got a belt, put it around my neck, our the other end in the door jamb. Felt it tighten a bit. Then as I knelt down a little more, the belt was suddenly too tight and I stood up in a panic. How am I going to ctb if I react this way??
aladdin
Member
- Nov 5, 2022
- 59
Consider another method. I'm personally going with poison, cause once I ingest it, there's nothing I can do and there's no going back.
Poison seems pretty darn unreliable. I gave up my SN some time ago, and I have no real way of getting any more reliably.
It sounds completely natural to react this way and has nothing to do with being a coward. After all killing ourselves is completely against our basic instinct to survie. So it's normal for this not being easy in any way. I've had a very similar reaction when I once wanted to check, if it is possible to hang myself putting the rope over the bathroom door and tying it around the toilet. Although I wasn't actually intending to kill myself in this moment, but only wanted to make sure that it would work (as I wans't quite sure, if my door was high enough) I got quite scared when one of my feet accidentally slipped from the chair I was using and caused the noose to tighten around my neck and choke me.
Maybe you need to find another means of killing yourself, if you can think of something less scary. Or else you might not be determined enough to acually go through with killing yourself yet, because a part of you still has hope that your life might improve?
Maybe you need to find another means of killing yourself, if you can think of something less scary. Or else you might not be determined enough to acually go through with killing yourself yet, because a part of you still has hope that your life might improve?
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,187
I do believe that SN is a reliable method as so many have died from it.
But yes suicide really can certainly be very difficult, the fact that you struggled to go through with it doesn't mean that you are cowardly. It's like the survival instinct exists to prolong our suffering and keep us trapped in this cruel world.
I envy those who have succeeded with ctb as they are finally free from everything, it really makes the hanging method sound so much easier than it actually is when you hear of all these people succeeding with it, but the reality is that it's not that straightforward. I hate how it can be this hard to die, but I wish you the best and hope that you find what you are looking for.
But yes suicide really can certainly be very difficult, the fact that you struggled to go through with it doesn't mean that you are cowardly. It's like the survival instinct exists to prolong our suffering and keep us trapped in this cruel world.
I envy those who have succeeded with ctb as they are finally free from everything, it really makes the hanging method sound so much easier than it actually is when you hear of all these people succeeding with it, but the reality is that it's not that straightforward. I hate how it can be this hard to die, but I wish you the best and hope that you find what you are looking for.
You are not a coward at all, like above replies it's a natural human instinct to avoid death. Wanting to die along with fear of death/fighting biological resistance to death is a hard position to be in :( (I'm in that boat) Wishing you the best
Yeah. You are not a coward. Don't feel like that about yourself. Feeling frustrated is perfectly warranted but not feeling like a coward. Everyone here is struggling with SI. It is the hardest of things to overcome.
Barteljaap
Member
- Jan 17, 2021
- 78
Altvtysp
Member
- Nov 5, 2022
- 96
I got some 5/32 paracord nylon rope (it is thin but can still hold up to 500 lbs, the package will say around 100 pounds but that's certified breakage it will go much higher) and tied a noose at the end of it (there are a couple knots available I'm using running bowline). I'm going to tie the rope to a high spot and have the noose around my height then put my head in it and use my body weight to quickly and strongly close it around my neck. A belt is far too wide and can't possibly utilize enough body weight to make it work successfully unless you're a millionaire movie star apparently.
The rope was $12 and it's 50 feet so there are lots of options of where to attach it. It's thin and with a properly made noose and attached solidly it should quickly cut off the cartoid arteries causing a blackout very quickly.
The rope was $12 and it's 50 feet so there are lots of options of where to attach it. It's thin and with a properly made noose and attached solidly it should quickly cut off the cartoid arteries causing a blackout very quickly.
nightowl43
New Member
- Nov 8, 2022
- 1
I have tried that method too, my face was red, and I couldn't do it either, we are fighting with our own survival mechanism, it is not easy.
Altvtysp
Member
- Nov 5, 2022
- 96
That's why using a thin ligature and putting a lot of weight into it will press into the cartoid arteries effectively and cause one to lose consciousness very quickly. SI doesn't have a chance of you aren't awake to engage in it. Methods like using a belt or like I did on Sunday a ratchet strap don't work because the ligature is way too wide and not enough weight can be placed on the "noose".
makethepainstop
Visionary
- Sep 16, 2022
- 2,032
Not cowardice, but the annoying thing known as survival instinct kicked in. research another method or refine your technique. Love to you and all here.
Nirrend
The important is not how long you live ...
- Mar 12, 2022
- 400
Hi sweet @Darmok
No you are not a coward, any person would panic in front of death
Finding the courage to make an attempt already is not a simple thing so don't be hard on yourself ❤
On the other hand, I do think that you need to prepare yourself internally and in depth for this. Ask yourself which method suits you best in terms of what you can and cannot handle, question yourself internally about your choice and be sure you want to leave. Prepare yourself for the panic and play down what happens after life!
I don't like to do this, but if it helps you, I've done an experiment on me to prepare myself to die without fear, if it help you to think about it differently, then I think it's worth it to share it to you
For my part, I remember taking several weeks to say to myself "Ok I can do this", even though some people do it impulsively.
I still here because I failed by telling my plans while being drunk.. And so I'm stuck lol
Here is the link : https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/3-months-of-death-diary-final-concluding-comments-3.100763/ and in this link there are sub-links to several related themes!
If you still have a desire to improve things, believe in it and even if it's hard, maybe try one last time at least to recover, because it would be sincerely sad if you missed things that can be solved and there would be no regrets at least ❤
On the other hand, even if I would never urge you, if you consider that nothing can ever change, then I guess your choice is understandable and respected ❤
I wish you the best ❤
Take care of yourself ❤
No you are not a coward, any person would panic in front of death
Finding the courage to make an attempt already is not a simple thing so don't be hard on yourself ❤
On the other hand, I do think that you need to prepare yourself internally and in depth for this. Ask yourself which method suits you best in terms of what you can and cannot handle, question yourself internally about your choice and be sure you want to leave. Prepare yourself for the panic and play down what happens after life!
I don't like to do this, but if it helps you, I've done an experiment on me to prepare myself to die without fear, if it help you to think about it differently, then I think it's worth it to share it to you
For my part, I remember taking several weeks to say to myself "Ok I can do this", even though some people do it impulsively.
I still here because I failed by telling my plans while being drunk.. And so I'm stuck lol
Here is the link : https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/3-months-of-death-diary-final-concluding-comments-3.100763/ and in this link there are sub-links to several related themes!
If you still have a desire to improve things, believe in it and even if it's hard, maybe try one last time at least to recover, because it would be sincerely sad if you missed things that can be solved and there would be no regrets at least ❤
On the other hand, even if I would never urge you, if you consider that nothing can ever change, then I guess your choice is understandable and respected ❤
I wish you the best ❤
Take care of yourself ❤
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