thethatsitboy

thethatsitboy

Nós tudo vive pra morrer, mas luta pela vida
Jul 4, 2020
175
Hello everyone! I am genuinely asking: how are you guys and girls doing?
I am coming back right after watching Blackbird. Not the best movie, but it really look like us here. It is about a woman that will kill herself with pentobarbital, her husband is a doctor, and the family reunites to see her for the last time.

This period off was not really forced. Tbh, some "friends" I made at an online community made me spent my time. I laugh and everything (entertainment was never a problem). But the feelings are still here. I feel like one day I will be gone. I can't think of myself in five years. I still go to the therapy two times a week. I still take one fucking med. I still confused about my psychiatric treatment and my psychiatrist. Idk if I should go to another. Idk if I should use alprazolam irresponsibly in order to feel doped. Wow wow, life, I wonder how you can still suprise me.

I am wondering what happened here meanwhile (two weeks maybe). I will look into some things here now, but I would appreciate if something come into your mind and you updated me. Thanks!
I hope you guys are doing better andwant to let you know you can come to me to talk a bit (i need it too, who doesn't?).

I am just taking Lithium, I dont think this is the proper treatment for me. I still want to kill myself, just isn't in first plan.
The closest person on my life is having suicide thoughts and I understand her. But, god, it is so hard to deal with the whole situation.
I am confused as fuck and feeling that I want to cry again. I do not cry much, but I know when I'm feeling like it. Hope it comes soon. It is sad to feel like this, I just wanted that my psychologist and psychiatrist solved my feelings. Hope I will get better someday and that it doesn't take long.
 
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Susannah

Susannah

Mage
Jul 2, 2018
530
Hi and welcome back. I'm doing ok despite I'm going into autumn depression (rainy, cold, heavy clouds in Norway). I'm in love for the first time in 10 years, so I have some joy in my life, and I'm really thankful. I see a lot of loneliness and hopelessness around me. The Covid- 19 situation is starting to do some serious damage to people's mental health. Even "normal" people around me are really struggeling.
 
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thethatsitboy

thethatsitboy

Nós tudo vive pra morrer, mas luta pela vida
Jul 4, 2020
175
Hi and welcome back. I'm doing ok despite I'm going into autumn depression (rainy, cold, heavy clouds in Norway). I'm in love for the first time in 10 years, so I have some joy in my life, and I'm really thankful. I see a lot of loneliness and hopelessness around me. The Covid- 19 situation is starting to do some serious damage to people's mental health. Even "normal" people around me are really struggeling.
Hi! Glad you're "ok, despite.." and in love! I live in Brazil so we don't have this autumn/winter depression, maybe in our south only and is not that heavy.
But you know what? I am passionate about Norway! Really, I don't know much about it, but I love to explore it on Google Maps and I learned a little of Norwegian. You guys have such beautiful landscapes. Because I am from Brazil, I prefer the south of Norway (less cold and water). Jeg elsker Noway! Tusen takk, Susannah! :hihi:
 
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Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Sep 13, 2020
710
Give the lithium some time. Its proven to help prevent CTB. I wish I could be on lithium but it was adversely impacting my kidney function so I had to come off of it.

Frankly I'm thinking about asking a new psychiatrist if I could try lithium again if my new medication Gabapentin does not help smooth out my moods. I take Zyprexa too as needed

Maybe like a fine wine my kidney function has improved with age and now I'll have no issues with lithium?
 
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thethatsitboy

thethatsitboy

Nós tudo vive pra morrer, mas luta pela vida
Jul 4, 2020
175
Give the lithium some time. Its proven to help prevent CTB. I wish I could be on lithium but it was adversely impacting my kidney function so I had to come off of it.
Thanks for your reply! To be honest, I am on Lithium for +7 months. I used it first combined with escitalopram. Then with Clozapine. And now I am just with Lithium. This is the thing that bothers me. I don't think Lithium alone will be helpful. It has been a month with only it. Lithium + Escitalopram helped me for short period (1-2 weeks), then nothing more. I am tired of having real suicide thoughts for +5 months and taking just the fucking lithium not combined.

Frankly I'm thinking about asking a new psychiatrist if I could try lithium again if my new medication Gabapentin does not help smooth out my moods. I take Zyprexa too as needed

Maybe like a fine wine my kidney function has improved with age and now I'll have no issues with lithium?
I'm sorry that your kidney function don't let u take lithium. But yes, maybe with time it can improve, but I think it would need some medical exams. I hope you get a good combination of meds that work for you!
 
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