Venting I am already dead, in fact I've been dead for several years now.

[H0110W]

Now that I'm committed to ending my pathetic excuse of a life within the end of the year, I've been reflecting on how did things get so bad.

I am coming to the conclusion that at some point within the last 5 years, I've somehow managed to die inside.
At some point, all I could feel was sadness and regret, and I was very isolated. I had many people who cared about me, loved me even, but as I was dead inside, I could no longer feel any happiness, and even when I felt it, it didn't feel any good. In fact, when I felt happy, deep down I wanted it to stop.

It all makes so much sense when you realize you are a walking corpse, a kind of zombie.
A zombie would not want to be happy, it would be painful even, just as it is for me. The happiness would just come to an end and then it will turn into a painful memory.

What would a zombie want in his non-life if not to stop shambling around and just fucking die once and for all?

All I feel is anger, sadness and regret. My existence is completely and utterly worthless. I am nothing and nobody will miss me.

 

[Why Me?]

All I feel is anger, sadness and regret. My existence is completely and utterly worthless. I am nothing and nobody will miss me

I can relate. I keep being attacked by these feelings everyday. I don't deserve to be in the position I'm in. I am a victim of so many things, even the faith, sacrifice, and efforts that I made through out the years. I need this to end.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing can certainly be torture, and it's awful having to endure a life of constant suffering so I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for. In a way I feel like I've already died as well and I just exist hoping that death will finally free me from this world but the unfortunate reality is that those who wish to leave will likely have to find a way to do it themselves. But at least to me, to die is certainly ideal. I never want to wake again.

 

[Meaninglessness]

It is a cruel world that we live in. We live in the taboo of death. It is terrible that people are tormented for years. Everyone can experience a temporary crises and recover from it, but when the rest of life only will be meaningless suffering, we should have euthanasia to avoid that meaninglessness. Humans should have the same right to euthanasia as our pets.