I am a weirdo

[noname223]

I do not like to say it but i am a little bit weird in real life. I really try to hide that i am mentally ill. But there has happened so much shit, and there is so much shit in my brain. I had 2 psychosis, i stay basically always at my home, my friends say it is not really obvious or they do not really recognize it. I am pretty sure they are honest. But it is something else if I meet someone i do not know. I really struggle with eye contact and some social interactions are very annoying for me. I hate this, especially if I cannot change it. I think I have to live with it or die with it lol.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

I use to say this to doctors and things, I don't so much now but I live in the Uk and I go jobs and stuff and people want to argue, start fights, blag and various other things your be aware of if you live in the UK but I'm the weirdo for just having very little interest in this behaviour, yes I'm a weirdo I don't fit in.

 

[Mentalmick]

We're all weirdos. I can't make eye contact with myself let alone someone else. I spend half the day staring into space. The other half is spent working out ways to blow up the planet.

 

[timf]

In Asperger circles pretending to be normal is called "masking". It can be taxing. Aspergers is often suspected when eye contact is difficult. However, a few years ago the so-called experts decided to call Aspergers an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Ever since the 1960s these people have been searching for the supposed "defects" in children that cause them to be difficult to process in the industrial educational complex. Back then they called it Minimal Brain Dsyfunction. They had supposed that some as yet undetected neurological defect caused people to be different.

Some of this thinking probably arose from the "systems" type thinking that permeated the war effort of WWII. For these people it is difficult to think that people can be different. A characteristic like height has a genetic component and presents as a sort of distribution curve. One would expect that neurology would also present with similar variability.

One person may have a neurology that is faster, more sensitive, or even more complex. This might make the person react to the world around them differently than a person whose neurology was slower, less sensitive, or less complex.

Trying to navigate through a world that proclaims it welcomes diversity while stigmatizing those who are different, can cause a person to wonder what is really expected. As a general rule, don't be tricked into taking what is said as factual. watch what they do. If people are marginalized for being different, then it can be an advantage to learn how to "mask". If it is difficult to look in the eyes, look at the nose, ear, or chin.

As you get to know people you will learn with whom you are able to be more yourself. With some you never will be able to lower the mask. Others will see the value in who you are and those are the ones with whom real relationships can be built.

When you think about it, the real weirdo may be the one who freaks out when they encounter someone different.

 

[fairy254]

Me too. I used to think I might have autism, but I think this is quite normal for people with anxiety