Discussion I am a transgender (MtF), and I want to commit suicide. Looking for like-minded people.

[snack]

I'm 20 years old and transgender (MTF). I'm tired of fighting gender dysphoria, it's so strong that I can't leave the house. I can't communicate with people because of her. Suffering 24/7. There were attempts to start hormone therapy, to adapt, all in vain. There are many reasons, factors, for which I will never be able to adapt and will not be able to live in comfort. It will take a long time to describe everything... I live in an intolerant country where people like me are hated. I made the decision to finish all this. It's final, 100%, don't talk me out of it.

I decided to die using the "Exit bag" method (package, tube, cylinder with nitrogen). If there is advice, reflections on the subject, useful information, write. If you know a better way write too.

I saw a topic that was also created by a transgender, but this person has not come for a long time, and I could not contact her. Yet for some reason I can't send private messages on this forum. So I was taken decision create a separate post, in that can write any, urge the in a similar position, those who decided to end. Although, I would like to be sent private messages.

Please avoid pronouns. You can address in feminine kind, of course, but better without pronouns. I apologize for the mistakes, if there are any. I don't know English very well.

 

[Ch92921]

I know sexuality are biologically determinted and very strong automatic feelings.

 

[neveranyhope]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. This world is cruel to trans people and it crushes me. I hope somehow you get even a moment of peace today. It's not fair.

 

[SadGirl]

I'm 20 years old and transgender (MTF). I'm tired of fighting gender dysphoria, it's so strong that I can't leave the house. I can't communicate with people because of her. Suffering 24/7. There were attempts to start hormone therapy, to adapt, all in vain. There are many reasons, factors, for which I will never be able to adapt and will not be able to live in comfort. It will take a long time to describe everything... I live in an intolerant country where people like me are hated. I made the decision to finish all this. It's final, 100%, don't talk me out of it.

I decided to die using the "Exit bag" method (package, tube, cylinder with nitrogen). If there is advice, reflections on the subject, useful information, write. If you know a better way write too.

Eu vi um tópico que também foi criado por um transexual, mas essa pessoa não vem há muito tempo e eu não pude contatá-la. No entanto, por algum motivo, não consigo enviar mensagens privadas neste fórum. Então eu fui tomada de decisão criar um post separado, em que pode escrever qualquer, exortar a em uma posição semelhante, aqueles que decidiram terminar. Embora, eu gostaria de receber mensagens privadas.

Por favor, evite pronomes. Você pode falar em feminino, é claro, mas melhor sem pronomes. Peço desculpas pelos erros, se houver algum. Eu não sei inglês muito bem.
[/CITAR]
Sinto muito por tudo isso, você, como todas as outras pessoas, merece viver bem e feliz. Eu espero que você encontre sua paz.

 

[Nobodysfault]

Hey, im trying to send you a message bur it wont work, maybe ask one of the site manager why you cant start a convirsation?

 

[FFTMGD]

I may not have advice, but I am MtF Trans looking at the exit bag strategy, so you arent alone... I just feel like I wont be able to figure out the right method and will either screw it up or get arrested.

 

[xXSarac3nSlay3rXx]

Like you, I'm doing the exit bag method. It seems like a pretty solid way to go. Provided you complete it correctly, it seems like a pretty sure fire way to die, assuming you aren't interrupted. I myself have considered combining this method with taking SN just for good measure, but that depends on if I can get meto. Best of luck to you!

 

[FFTMGD]

Like you, I'm doing the exit bag method. It seems like a pretty solid way to go. Provided you conplete it correctly, it seems like a pretty sure fire way to die, assuming you aren't interrupted. I myself have considered combining this method with taking SN just for good measure, but that depends on if I can get meto. Best of luck to you!

You as well! I have howeber refined a personal way to help avoid SI that may or may not help you: puttig on a movie I enjoy whilee I have a window open and hear the birds outside during the time. I feel like I will panic liss that way and more likely to avoid SI(though I know if I do suceed it likely would knock me out too fast for SI to trigger... just planning ahead.)

 

[letmeseethedeath]

I'm 20 years old and transgender (MTF). I'm tired of fighting gender dysphoria, it's so strong that I can't leave the house. I can't communicate with people because of her. Suffering 24/7. There were attempts to start hormone therapy, to adapt, all in vain. There are many reasons, factors, for which I will never be able to adapt and will not be able to live in comfort. It will take a long time to describe everything... I live in an intolerant country where people like me are hated. I made the decision to finish all this. It's final, 100%, don't talk me out of it.

I decided to die using the "Exit bag" method (package, tube, cylinder with nitrogen). If there is advice, reflections on the subject, useful information, write. If you know a better way write too.

I saw a topic that was also created by a transgender, but this person has not come for a long time, and I could not contact her. Yet for some reason I can't send private messages on this forum. So I was taken decision create a separate post, in that can write any, urge the in a similar position, those who decided to end. Although, I would like to be sent private messages.

Please avoid pronouns. You can address in feminine kind, of course, but better without pronouns. I apologize for the mistakes, if there are any. I don't know English very well.

gender dysphoria is so bad, i'm
fighting against it but the desire to die suggest me to kill my self because i can't deal with all this pain

 

[xXSarac3nSlay3rXx]

I'll probably just have some music playing while I go. I'm not sure exactly what song I want. "The End" and "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" both seem apropos.

P.S. Meant to quote FFTMGD

 

[FFTMGD]

gender dysphoria is so bad, i'm
fighting against it but the desire to die suggest me to kill my self because i can't deal with all this pain

Its a tough fight. I grew up detatched from everyone. I figured if I can rely on myself I can appreciate other people but not them then dysphoria took that away as I cant rely on myself as I feel like I cant rest or feel happy no matter what is going on. It feels like I am stuck in an extremely tight and suffocating wetsuit that I can never take off...

 

[RainAndSadness]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I can relate to your struggles and while you can treat the gender dysphoria to some degree with HRT, it's impossible to fight against the prejudice and hatred that is pointed towards transgender people by society. We face very unfair judgement and it's also one of the reasons why I want to ctb. I don't want to live in a world like this, it's really disgusting.

You could maybe ease your pain if you start HRT, if you find a way to afford it. I know it's expensive and going this path isn't easy, depending on your location and the trans rights situation of your country. But it would definitely help if you feel severe gender dysphoria. It's important to mention that gender dysphoria is incurable right now. You can treat it to some extend and some trans people even live a pretty good life but I also know plenty of trans people who suffer horribly from the distress even after years of HRT. It depends on your circumstances. I am doing HRT for 2 years and I'm still suffering. It definitely improved my self-acceptance and I definitely look more feminine now but that's about it.

When it comes to the unfair treatment of society, there isn't really anything you can do. You can try to pass as well as possible and basically hide your identity but I don't know if that's really a solution. I am visibly trans and I definitely face unjust treatment because of that. But there is nothing I can do about that. I simply have to accept this fate and deal with it. I'm still suicidal and I want to ctb, when I find enough strength.

 

[snack]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I can relate to your struggles and while you can treat the gender dysphoria to some degree with HRT, it's impossible to fight against the prejudice and hatred that is pointed towards transgender people by society. We face very unfair judgement and it's also one of the reasons why I want to ctb. I don't want to live in a world like this, it's really disgusting.

You could maybe ease your pain if you start HRT, if you find a way to afford it. I know it's expensive and going this path isn't easy, depending on your location and the trans rights situation of your country. But it would definitely help if you feel severe gender dysphoria. It's important to mention that gender dysphoria is incurable right now. You can treat it to some extend and some trans people even live a pretty good life but I also know plenty of trans people who suffer horribly from the distress even after years of HRT. It depends on your circumstances. I am doing HRT for 2 years and I'm still suffering. It definitely improved my self-acceptance and I definitely look more feminine now but that's about it.

When it comes to the unfair treatment of society, there isn't really anything you can do. You can try to pass as well as possible and basically hide your identity but I don't know if that's really a solution. I am visibly trans and I definitely face unjust treatment because of that. But there is nothing I can do about that. I simply have to accept this fate and deal with it. I'm still suicidal and I want to ctb, when I find enough strength.

I tried to start hormone therapy and quit after 2 months. There are a number of factors why I just can't do it. I think you'll understand. There are stupid people who say, "Just start, nothing bad will happen" - and then people followed this advice are killed transophobic people. Suicide is my only option, but I'm afraid. I'm weak. I can't hang myself, I can't do an exit bag. Maybe we should try poisoning ourselves. What's the easiest way, do you think? I will definitely not do it in public, I'm afraid that everything will fail. Just at home, alone.