I am a person, NOT A LIABILITY

[21Neberg]

[vent]

The psychiatric system has to be one of the worst things I've ever encountered. I've told many people on here that giving therapy before you decide to go is a good option - I was going to do it too. But what has 'getting help' gotten me these past three months? I've been referred multiple times, making medical bills like a machine and all I've heard so far is that I'm too much of a responsibility for one person to bear, and that I have to be referred to another place. Even worse, they want to tell my parents because even though I'm an adult I live with them and they can 'watch me'. Do you know how humiliting it will be to admit that I want to die again to my hard working parents? I still feel like shit, I'd still rather be dead, but none of these therapists actually want to help me. They all want to lose being responsible for me.

If you're currently looking to get help before you decide to go, I'm not sure if I'd recommend it to you. I think I'd feel better right now if I had never started seeking help.

 

[Wolfjob_dayjob]

I got hung up on accident calling the behavioral health line for my insurance. Magical thinking tells me it's a sign. Haven't gone farther yet. Fucking eesh for what you're going through...

Just validating its not right isn't that helpful but...thats all I have. Your situation finding a good counselor is bullshit.

 

[21Neberg]

I got hung up on accident calling the behavioral health line for my insurance. Magical thinking tells me it's a sign. Haven't gone farther yet. Fucking eesh for what you're going through...

Just validating its not right isn't that helpful but...thats all I have. Your situation finding a good counselor is bullshit.

You better be careful what you're getting into. I don't know what the system is like in your country or how old you are, but I've lost all hope in them.

 

[Donewith_]

[vent]

The psychiatric system has to be one of the worst things I've ever encountered. I've told many people on here that giving therapy before you decide to go is a good option - I was going to do it too. But what has 'getting help' gotten me these past three months? I've been referred multiple times, making medical bills like a machine and all I've heard so far is that I'm too much of a responsibility for one person to bear, and that I have to be referred to another place. Even worse, they want to tell my parents because even though I'm an adult I live with them and they can 'watch me'. Do you know how humiliting it will be to admit that I want to die again to my hard working parents? I still feel like shit, I'd still rather be dead, but none of these therapists actually want to help me. They all want to lose being responsible for me.

If you're currently looking to get help before you decide to go, I'm not sure if I'd recommend it to you. I think I'd feel better right now if I had never started seeking help.

Can relate. I feel like I am making my parents' and everyone's life miserable

 

[Roberto]

[vent]

The psychiatric system has to be one of the worst things I've ever encountered. I've told many people on here that giving therapy before you decide to go is a good option - I was going to do it too. But what has 'getting help' gotten me these past three months? I've been referred multiple times, making medical bills like a machine and all I've heard so far is that I'm too much of a responsibility for one person to bear, and that I have to be referred to another place. Even worse, they want to tell my parents because even though I'm an adult I live with them and they can 'watch me'. Do you know how humiliting it will be to admit that I want to die again to my hard working parents? I still feel like shit, I'd still rather be dead, but none of these therapists actually want to help me. They all want to lose being responsible for me.

If you're currently looking to get help before you decide to go, I'm not sure if I'd recommend it to you. I think I'd feel better right now if I had never started seeking help.

I would NEVER say to anyone that is suicidal to avoid therapy. I failed, and feel what you think that I'm a problem for my psychologist, but it's my case.

 

[21Neberg]

I would NEVER say to anyone that is suicidal to avoid therapy. I failed, and feel what you think that I'm a problem for my psychologist, but it's my case.

My intention wasn't to advise anyone here. It's just a venting post.

 

[Roberto]

My intention wasn't to advise anyone here. It's just a venting post.

I'm really sorry I misunderstood. I retire the words said in the previous post.
Have a big hug!!!

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

[vent] If you're currently looking to get help before you decide to go, I'm not sure if I'd recommend it to you. I think I'd feel better right now if I had never started seeking help.

I feel like this too. I do have to say though, I have learned some stuff from it. Like how to put things in perspective and how to talk and open up a bit better.

 

[ShadowOfTheDay]

[vent]

The psychiatric system has to be one of the worst things I've ever encountered. I've told many people on here that giving therapy before you decide to go is a good option - I was going to do it too. But what has 'getting help' gotten me these past three months? I've been referred multiple times, making medical bills like a machine and all I've heard so far is that I'm too much of a responsibility for one person to bear, and that I have to be referred to another place. Even worse, they want to tell my parents because even though I'm an adult I live with them and they can 'watch me'. Do you know how humiliting it will be to admit that I want to die again to my hard working parents? I still feel like shit, I'd still rather be dead, but none of these therapists actually want to help me. They all want to lose being responsible for me.

If you're currently looking to get help before you decide to go, I'm not sure if I'd recommend it to you. I think I'd feel better right now if I had never started seeking help.

I can only say that my experience has been pretty much the same; the only lesson learned from my attempts at "rehabilitation" is what I had always suspected about myself--that I am a lost cause.

 

[Pentobartbital]

I'm right there with you, 21Neberg.

As professionals, they want their hands to be pure and clean as fresh snow. When they can't (or in some cases, won't) help one, it's the psychiatric equivalent of musical chairs. Finding another therapist. Finding another psychiatrist. I don't know how it works in the Netherlands yet good approval ratings and a pristine track record mean continued employment at a practise here. Figures professionals are all to happy to induce artificially. So many patients to see in one day that there's no time to really understand the root cause of one's issues. When it comes to medication, unnecessary risks are "calculated" into one's treatment and one is given fifteen minutes, if that, to get their script and leave. It's a joke with a very unfunny punchline.

Sometimes I just wish I had sat down and spoke to the wall. It would listen for as long as necessary, give me a way to reflect on my decisions and is as free as the air we breathe.

 

[TreatmentDidntWork]

I have been "dumped" by several therapists... all because they wanted to cover their own ass. Nobody wants to be held liable legally or emotionally for a patient's suicide, and I understand that. However, if they're all going to insist that suicide is wrong and everyone should stay alive no matter what... someone has to be willing to help. It's incredibly inhumane to do your utmost to prevent suicide but then refuse to provide any support that might actually make the suicidal person want to be alive.

 

[Iman]

If you're currently looking to get help before you decide to go, I'm not sure if I'd recommend it to you. I think I'd feel better right now if I had never started seeking help.

I feel the same
I lost the hope in therapy years ago when I was still a child and after trying it again a while ago, I just got confirmation that it's utter garbage.
Apparently it helps some people, but for me it only made things so much worse.

 

[Johnnythefox]

I've lost all faith in the mental health services in the UK. I even avoid going to see my GP now.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I can relate to this. I have no faith in therapy or mental health after the way I have been treated. Its only made me feel more hopeless and worse. Therapist gave up on me and I kept getting referred around. A psychiatrist was horribly rude to me and made a derogatory remark about me being a female. I hate going to the regular Dr but I have to go for physical pain.

 

[JJ-NOHOPE]

I'm super sorry to hear this 21Neberg.

All I can say is from all your posts on here you seem like a super nice guy, so I hate to see you give up.

I was lucky recently when I started therapy that I really like my therapist. However, when I was previously mentally I'll as an adolescent I saw over 17 shrinks and hated all of them. So I figure statistically I was due for a good one.

Please don't give up on yourself.

 

[TAW122]

@21Neberg I feel the same way too. I have been to over a dozen counselors, therapists, psychologists, and even one psychiatrist (when I was a kid). Most of the time, it's just a waste of time and money; doesn't really address the root issues and stuff. When I was at university, I also saw the counselors there and I regret wasting my time getting nowhere. I didn't really get better, didn't feel any better, just wasted time that could have been spent elsewhere. The only reason I went was that when I was a student, it was free and they had about 10-12 sessions per school year. Needless to say, I went through about 3-4 of them and it all sucked. Plus, there were a few times where the counselor got a bit 'concerned' and asked probing questions. That was when I knew they were only trying to protecc their asses while they attacc my ass with their verbal bullshit. Anyways, long story short, yeah therapy is just a joke for people who already know themselves and what they want as therapy doesn't offer solutions or useful practical advice for shit.

Sometimes I just wish I had sat down and spoke to the wall. It would listen for as long as necessary, give me a way to reflect on my decisions and is as free as the air we breathe.

Yeah, I figured the same way too. At least the wall won't try to report you to authorities or try to get you committed against your will.

if they're all going to insist that suicide is wrong and everyone should stay alive no matter what... someone has to be willing to help. It's incredibly inhumane to do your utmost to prevent suicide but then refuse to provide any support that might actually make the suicidal person want to be alive.

I fully agree and it seems like from the medical industrial complex and big pharma's pov, keeping someone alive but suffering and dependent on drugs is good profit for them. They don't care about the person actually getting better, they care about lining their own pockets, averting and avoiding blood on their hands, and feeling holier than thou.

 

[HangingTree]

Hey, I'm very sorry for your experience :(
I've never thought so much about it, but I expect I was lucky with my psychiatrist I found two weeks ago. She said that she can't forbid me to ctb, but I should give one last chance for a therapy and if it doesn't help I can still kill myself... And that she doesn't want to send me in a psychiatry. She gives me the feeling that she trust me and I can trust her... She doesn't treat me like a sick person or a lost case.
I hope you guys will find whatever you are looking for :)

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

[vent]

The psychiatric system has to be one of the worst things I've ever encountered. I've told many people on here that giving therapy before you decide to go is a good option - I was going to do it too. But what has 'getting help' gotten me these past three months? I've been referred multiple times, making medical bills like a machine and all I've heard so far is that I'm too much of a responsibility for one person to bear, and that I have to be referred to another place. Even worse, they want to tell my parents because even though I'm an adult I live with them and they can 'watch me'. Do you know how humiliting it will be to admit that I want to die again to my hard working parents? I still feel like shit, I'd still rather be dead, but none of these therapists actually want to help me. They all want to lose being responsible for me.

If you're currently looking to get help before you decide to go, I'm not sure if I'd recommend it to you. I think I'd feel better right now if I had never started seeking help.

Dude, very sorry you've been passed around like an old household pet. That would make me feel even worse, too. And then to involve your parents... But, hey, no matter how much we're suffering, we're still also responsible for the effects of our suffering on others. Social responsibility and all that.... sarcasm. If you want someone to yell at in private, I'll listen. Peace.

 

[21Neberg]

Dude, very sorry you've been passed around like an old household pet. That would make me feel even worse, too. And then to involve your parents... But, hey, no matter how much we're suffering, we're still also responsible for the effects of our suffering on others. Social responsibility and all that.... sarcasm. If you want someone to yell at in private, I'll listen. Peace.

Thanks for the kind reply. I won't bother anyone here though.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Thanks for the kind reply. I won't bother anyone here though.

I respect your prerogatives, man, but it wouldn't be a bother. Really. Here's to peace for you.

 

[Final Escape]

[vent]

The psychiatric system has to be one of the worst things I've ever encountered. I've told many people on here that giving therapy before you decide to go is a good option - I was going to do it too. But what has 'getting help' gotten me these past three months? I've been referred multiple times, making medical bills like a machine and all I've heard so far is that I'm too much of a responsibility for one person to bear, and that I have to be referred to another place. Even worse, they want to tell my parents because even though I'm an adult I live with them and they can 'watch me'. Do you know how humiliting it will be to admit that I want to die again to my hard working parents? I still feel like shit, I'd still rather be dead, but none of these therapists actually want to help me. They all want to lose being responsible for me.

If you're currently looking to get help before you decide to go, I'm not sure if I'd recommend it to you. I think I'd feel better right now if I had never started seeking help.

I have to agree, that it's dangerous to see the average psych doctor since they primarily try to medicate instead of actually helping you through your problems.

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

I loved your post, @21Neberg . I have had the same issues ever since I became suicidal. The first few therapists were actually happy to work with me, but as I had lowered my benzodiazepine dependence and my life became much more anxious in general, I started to have a lot more suicidal thoughts. The agoraphobia intensified, so I was overjoyed when I found a therapist willing to come to my place. I was so happy!! Unfortunately, my joy was short-lived as this person trerated me like a liability and was focusing so much on my childhood issues and root anxiety, yet I needed help in the here and now because I'd become suicidal on a daily basis. But he didn't want to deal with any of that. I guess the early life stuff was more clear-cut to him, so he fixated on that. Also, he would pretend he didn't see me suffering and would ignore things that I was vulnerable enough to open about.

All in all, so disappointing. Apparently, he had no desire in helping me emotionally while trying to come off the benzos. I find it funny when so many articles out there mention CBT for the inditivudals wanting to cease or reduce their prescribed benzodiazepines, yet there are so few therapists out there equipped to actually help a person in this kind of horrid situation.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I loved your post, @21Neberg . I have had the same issues ever since I became suicidal. The first few therapists were actually happy to work with me, but as I had lowered my benzodiazepine dependence and my life became much more anxious in general, I started to have a lot more suicidal thoughts. The agoraphobia intensified, so I was overjoyed when I found a therapist willing to come to my place. I was so happy!! Unfortunately, my joy was short-lived as this person trerated me like a liability and was focusing so much on my childhood issues and root anxiety, yet I needed help in the here and now because I'd become suicidal on a daily basis. But he didn't want to deal with any of that. I guess the early life stuff was more clear-cut to him, so he fixated on that. Also, he would pretend he didn't see me suffering and would ignore things that I was vulnerable enough to open about.

All in all, so disappointing. Apparently, he had no desire in helping me emotionally while trying to come off the benzos. I find it funny when so many articles out there mention CBT for the inditivudals wanting to cease or reduce their prescribed benzodiazepines, yet there are so few therapists out there equipped to actually help a person in this kind of horrid situation.

But, of course, we're not allowed to talk about any of this with the "professionals." They either ignore us or shame us into silence, all while pontificating how effective therapy is.

 

[Jean Améry]

[vent]

The psychiatric system has to be one of the worst things I've ever encountered. I've told many people on here that giving therapy before you decide to go is a good option - I was going to do it too. But what has 'getting help' gotten me these past three months? I've been referred multiple times, making medical bills like a machine and all I've heard so far is that I'm too much of a responsibility for one person to bear, and that I have to be referred to another place. Even worse, they want to tell my parents because even though I'm an adult I live with them and they can 'watch me'. Do you know how humiliting it will be to admit that I want to die again to my hard working parents? I still feel like shit, I'd still rather be dead, but none of these therapists actually want to help me. They all want to lose being responsible for me.

If you're currently looking to get help before you decide to go, I'm not sure if I'd recommend it to you. I think I'd feel better right now if I had never started seeking help.

I'm sorry you feel that way man. I don't have any reason to believe psychiatric treatment including psychotherapy is anything more than a scam but it is a fact that talking to people about one's problems does tend to work. Of course that would imply there's mutual trust and there lies the rub in dealing with 'professionals'.

In my experience what works for mental suffering and despair is activity and taking steps to build one's life. If you live with your parents you might try to find a job so you can live alone. Working and living alone are real accomplishments and might make you feel better. Of course i realise this may not be possible for you and I certainly don't mean to judge you.

Fuck those therapists: you don't need them to tell you what to do. Trust in yourself and try to find a way. By all means talk about your feelings and experiences, here or elsewhere. It will make you feel better or least less crappy.

If you live in The Netherlands you could look into the requirements for euthanasia. In that sense it would be good to work the psychiatric angle: if they can't cure you the least they could do is provide you with a clean death.

 

[salvation]

they did shit to help my friend

 

[21Neberg]

they did shit to help my friend

They say the want to, at least. There's no way out now, I have to go through this and let them 'help me.'

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

They say the want to, at least. There's no way out now, I have to go through this and let them 'help me.'

One thing that is helpful to me is to try to keep in mind that I am not obligated to take all or any of the medications I am prescribed. I take what is necessary (necessary either because of medical need or a previous physical dependence on it that I can't break) at this stage and don't take those that will make me worse. Please research each and every one you are given, and if the side effects/adverse effects/long term effects seem too dangerous, you can always just shelve it and not take it and take only the ones that you think are helpful to you.

 

[ron_g]

In my opinion, some psychiatrists use us to feel good about themselves. They want to be our savers, they imagine being on a mission to help helpless people. Sounds nice, but there is a real danger they will go too far and decide for themselves what they believe is our interest, regardless of how well we justify our opinion.

 

[salvation]

In my opinion, some psychiatrists use us to feel good about themselves. They want to be our savers, they imagine being on a mission to help helpless people. Sounds nice, but there is a real danger they will go too far and decide for themselves what they believe is our interest, regardless of how well we justify our opinion.

yes, also notice how they are jumpy to diagnose you with something so they can get their paycheck and praise from their boss

 

[Jean Améry]

In my opinion, some psychiatrists use us to feel good about themselves. They want to be our savers, they imagine being on a mission to help helpless people. Sounds nice, but there is a real danger they will go too far and decide for themselves what they believe is our interest, regardless of how well we justify our opinion.

I'd say most psychiatrists like to imagine themselves real specialists who practice actual medicine. They're clearly delusional.

Neuroleptics are known to cause a severe, uncurable neurological disorder yet they are still prescribed and doled out like they were candy. All the while they do not actually help the person deal with their problem(s): they just turn them into zombies who are oblivious to the world and who can't think, feel or act like a normal human-beings. That is just one example of the folly of psychiatry.

Since psychiatrists aren't able to cure shit clearly they are only using their patients for professional and monetary gain. Their patients are the sheep they fleece while having nothing to offer but fake diagnosis', ineffective and often harmful treatmens and maybe some genuine empathy if you're lucky (which every human-being can provide btw).

Psychiatrists delude themselves into thinking they're real doctors who actually save lives the way an oncologist saves a cancer patient or a trauma surgeon saves a victim who is bleeding out. Psychiatrists are convinced that stopping someone from committing suicide by force equals medical treatment and life-saving intervention. They have a god-complex and care not one whit about personal freedom and autonomy.