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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,243
I think this is a sentiment many modern people have. We pressure us from one appointment to the next. We are always in hurry. But does this saved time really mean much to us? Do we invest it in our own happiness or are we a slave of the system? An hamster in an hamster wheel.
It is ironic that I say that. I am always obsessed by getting good grades, being as efficient as possible, pressuring myself way too much etc.
But I am not really happy. My pathologies and obsessions rule over me.

There is the trend of self-optimizing. Being or becoming a better version of yourself. Maybe we forget how it feels to be human when we chase that goal. A human with flaws and weaknesses. Someone who enjoys thinking about an intricate question for 30 minutes in your head. Alone, not always exposed to stressors or attention. That is a contrast to our social and digital world where the pace seems to increase without any limits.

When I am writing in this forum I really try to turn introspectively and nurture that need for silence and awareness in my mind. There is an urge for sadness and reflection in my mind. When I suppress the melancholia my brain punishes me with increasing suicidal thoughts. Personally it is difficult for me to find the right balance.

I am fighting against depression and mania. So the enemy comes from both sides. Though currently the sad and calm guy in me can help me to chill and relax. So I actively turn to him. Probably not the optimal strategy for everyone.


Maybe it is not a good remark to end a recovery thread. I think being friendly to oneself is hard but a necessity to improve. Sometimes it is good to do the exact opposite of what the nasty superego says to you. Instead of punishing or shaming yourself take a break, listen to chilling music, eat an ice etc whatever you like.

Be kind to yourself. You deserved it.
 
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timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,170
You might try to keep two notebooks. One written by the depressed guy to the manic one to tone down, relax, and take some time for indulgences.

The other notebook would be written by the manic guy telling the depressed guy to shake a leg, snap out of it, and do something.

In this way, you might be able to integrate the two halves to help each other.
 

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