im gonna grow wings
a chemical reaction
- Jun 9, 2025
- 7
I don't drink very often, hardly at all actually... Usually when I do drink, I keep it to 1-2 minimum. But last night, I don't know what came over me. I had two heavy pour martinis, and after being driven home, I drank around 3 shots of titos. I was playing video games with friends and blacked out mid game. Woke up on my back the next morning at 7am in my bed with a foul taste in my mouth. There was puke in my hair, and all over my bed. I was disgusted, moved quick to bunch up the sheets and get them washed, then hopped in the shower. I was so sick that whole day, dry heaving over the toilet. I couldn't even keep down water.
Then it hit me, so many deaths revolving around alcohol involve vomiting while unconscious. I could have literally asphyxiated in my sleep on my own bile. The thought of someone finding me like that, in my messy room, un-glamorously posed in bed on my back, in a pool of my own sick terrified me. But I cant say I'd be upset if that's how I was supposed to go. Feels as though I was spared. I walked toe to toe with death and managed to wake up, because of course I did.
Then it hit me, so many deaths revolving around alcohol involve vomiting while unconscious. I could have literally asphyxiated in my sleep on my own bile. The thought of someone finding me like that, in my messy room, un-glamorously posed in bed on my back, in a pool of my own sick terrified me. But I cant say I'd be upset if that's how I was supposed to go. Feels as though I was spared. I walked toe to toe with death and managed to wake up, because of course I did.
