I almost did it

[tmcglone25]

I bought my SN. I mixed it with water. I poured it down the drain. Yesterday at about 730. I guess I'm just too much of a pussy to ever do it. I guess I'm going to be suffering forever.

I told my girlfriend and she told me I should go to the hospital. I told my mom I need to go to the hospital but she just said that I'm fine. She has no idea what she's talking about. She's just too lazy to drive me.
I've had a headache for two years and I can't take it anymore. Chronic pain has ruined my life. It has gotten to the point where I can't even watch Netflix or Hulu so I just lay in bed all day vaping my Juul, which hopefully will kill me and rid me of this wretched existence. The worst part is that I'm only 24 and I'm probably going to be in miserable pain for the rest of my life. I'm going to live with my parents until they die and then I'm going to wind up homeless, living out of a car if I'm lucky. I'm too incompetent to keep a job. I have schizoaffective disorder so I can't focus.

 

[pete_x]

You're not ready to go. There's nothing pussy about it. That you post in the recovery section means something important. If you are leaning toward recovery then, accept it. If you feel the need for hospitalization, seek it out. At the very least you need an advocate and a social-worker.

 

[FriendofDeath]

Do they know what's causing the headache or chronic pain? I hear you! It sucks to be in pain every day. Mine didn't really kick in until my 30s. I remember walking into work feeling like I was 70. That's just wrong! You are your own best advocate. If you work with any kind of doctor or therapist, maybe they can refer you for whatever treatment they think best. Are you in the states and eligible to apply for disability? You have some options. Good on you! I hope you can find a way to minimize your pain and can find something to enjoy. Best to you!

 

[tmcglone25]

I am already on disability for schizoaffective disorder but I only receive $932 a month so it's not enough to support myself. And I have been to many doctors but they haven't really helped me.