I aborted my attempt this morning, situation worsening.. still need to ctb asap

[missingpeace]

I was meant to take SN this morning at a campsite, I drove about hour and a half to find the place to be cold and quite a few people around. I'm pretty sure they would have heard me puking, choking, but the thing that made me most nervous is that there wasn't any phone reception. I would have to sit in silence for the time that SN takes effect. I realised being in communication with others till the time I die feels important to me.
The demonic entities are behaving even worse, taking away even more, now that they know I'm about to ctb they are circulating more demonic energy in my body, it feels like cancer. They are watching my each and every move to see what other mental capacity they can take away. I'm so fed up of being oppressed and suppressed like this. This inhumane suffering can't go on, they are influencing my each and every mood which makes it harder to ctb. There is absolutely an urgency to get this done, but I'm the only one that understands this. If I list out all the symptoms I'm experiencing, people will wonder why the hell I'm still alive. I don't know myself, the answer to this question. At this point I'm frustrated this is taking so long. I pray and hope that the SN will end me, I havn't done any kind of blood test on the supply that I have, maybe I should. I'm looking for hotel rooms now and hoping this will go well and I will end it all.

 

[ranaway]

hope you can finally find your peace.

 

[SilentSadness]

That sounds like a terrifying situation to be in, I hope that you find some relief from the torment.

 

[rationaltake]

I'm sorry it's all so bad and you're suffering so much. You mention demonic entities. Maybe it would be better to be free of them so you can make your decision calmly. How long have you been experiencing these entities?

 

[Shy_Shay]

"The stars do not take the offer hand but they will smile for you in this awake" may you be remember as you are for those that remain and for those who follow may they find you in the other side for a share drink.

 

[Givenupx]

I hope you find an end to your suffering

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds so incredibly horrific what you've had to endure, I hope that you eventually find freedom from your torture. Life is undeniably so cruel.

 

[LittleBlackCat]

I hope you find peace

 

[qwerty1969]

I can relate to everything you have said.

 

[missingpeace]

I'm sorry it's all so bad and you're suffering so much. You mention demonic entities. Maybe it would be better to be free of them so you can make your decision calmly. How long have you been experiencing these entities?

I've tried so many things, nobody can help, they have been after me for almost 2 years now. I can't do this anymore.

 

[ranaway]

I've tried so many things, nobody can help, they have been after me for almost 2 years now. I can't do this anymore.

You're here! how's thing going ?