I recently (27M) connected with a girl (27F) through an app where you chat with strangers. At first, I had zero intentions of dating, but we hit it off immediately. We talked every day, and over just 1.5 months, we formed a deep connection. She happened to be visiting my country that same week, and we met for the first time. It was an amazing date. Despite knowing distance would be a big obstacle (we made it an inside joke, calling it "the elephant in the room"), we tried to stay optimistic. She told me she'd be moving to my country in 3 years, so we thought we could make it work by visiting each other when possible. Over time, reality hit us. We started doubting if the distance would work and decided to take a step back emotionally.
Then shortly after that she ended up visiting my country again, we couldn't resist meeting, and our feelings grew even stronger, we spent amazing nights and we both made it work in a tight schedule and it was something beautiful like it's out of a movie. I can say we fell in love.
Then she went back to her country, we were casually talking on the phone then at some point she told me she's no longer planning to move to my country in 3 years. and the only way for us to be together now would be if I moved to her country, and I've never wanted to move there, and right now, I'm recovering from mental health issues and relocating feels overwhelming and unrealistic. I told her honestly that the chances of me moving were slim, though I was technically still considering itbut deep down, we both knew it probably wouldn't happen.
Then this is the part I feel guilty about. An old acquaintance (someone I casually hooked up with in the past) reached out. She lives in a city I already had plans to visit for personal reasons. She invited me to see her while I was there. I said I might stop by, but only because I already intended to go to that city, I wasn't going out of my way to see her.
When talking to the girl I love, I ended up telling her about this acquaintance. I wanted to be honest and not hide anything. She was understandably upset. I never cheated, I never crossed any boundaries, but I unintentionally hurt her and accelerated what now feels like the inevitable end of our relationship.
I've been crying for days. I've never cried over someone like this before. I truly feel like I've lost "the one," and I can't shake this overwhelming guilt. I keep wondering if I'm the reason we can never work, if I'm just not enough for her, or if I should've sacrificed more for the relationship, or was it doomed from the start (we actually both partially agreed on the last one).
I am unsure how to move forwards, any advice would be much appreciated!
tl;dr
I (27M) fell in love with a girl (27F) long-distance, but plans changed, and I couldn't commit to relocating. I unintentionally hurt her by being honest about reconnecting with an old acquaintance, and now our relationship feels over, leaving me heartbroken and guilty.
Then shortly after that she ended up visiting my country again, we couldn't resist meeting, and our feelings grew even stronger, we spent amazing nights and we both made it work in a tight schedule and it was something beautiful like it's out of a movie. I can say we fell in love.
Then she went back to her country, we were casually talking on the phone then at some point she told me she's no longer planning to move to my country in 3 years. and the only way for us to be together now would be if I moved to her country, and I've never wanted to move there, and right now, I'm recovering from mental health issues and relocating feels overwhelming and unrealistic. I told her honestly that the chances of me moving were slim, though I was technically still considering itbut deep down, we both knew it probably wouldn't happen.
Then this is the part I feel guilty about. An old acquaintance (someone I casually hooked up with in the past) reached out. She lives in a city I already had plans to visit for personal reasons. She invited me to see her while I was there. I said I might stop by, but only because I already intended to go to that city, I wasn't going out of my way to see her.
When talking to the girl I love, I ended up telling her about this acquaintance. I wanted to be honest and not hide anything. She was understandably upset. I never cheated, I never crossed any boundaries, but I unintentionally hurt her and accelerated what now feels like the inevitable end of our relationship.
I've been crying for days. I've never cried over someone like this before. I truly feel like I've lost "the one," and I can't shake this overwhelming guilt. I keep wondering if I'm the reason we can never work, if I'm just not enough for her, or if I should've sacrificed more for the relationship, or was it doomed from the start (we actually both partially agreed on the last one).
I am unsure how to move forwards, any advice would be much appreciated!
tl;dr
I (27M) fell in love with a girl (27F) long-distance, but plans changed, and I couldn't commit to relocating. I unintentionally hurt her by being honest about reconnecting with an old acquaintance, and now our relationship feels over, leaving me heartbroken and guilty.
