Venting Hypocritical people here

[timetodie24]

There are lots of people with very extreme views on here. Ones that general society may call crazy. Yet people here don't question their sanity. Yet somehow my beliefs mean I shouldn't have a right to die ? People would rather I stayed and suffered, that many others suffer because of me, just because they don't agree with my beliefs. Despite so much evidence to support mine. Regardless, why does people disagreeing with me mean I should be denied my right to die ?
I understand it from outsiders to here, who often think all suicidal people lack capacity. I don't expect it from here though. I'm sick of it and I don't understand it.

I have clear reasons why I want to die. I've considered all my options. I understand the pros/cons and the consequences. That's 'capacity'. Just because you don't understand mind control or understand the system that controls the world, doesn't change that i'm capable of making decisions.

So please stop saying I'm too ill to make decisions . That I'm not of sound mind. That somehow i'm not thinking logically despite being able to reason my decisions. Many people here have mental illness, doesn't invalidate their desire to die. I don't even have any mental illness, sure i have some issues with my mental health , but no severe illness.

 

[Mirrory Me]

You can kill yourself but not necessarily change how other people see you as. Concerning your sanity, that's basically their own view- you can't control the mental energies around you, it's just wind after all. what people think or talk, it's like breathing in sense.

You need air to breath, then you breath out air- receive, give, receive, give, that's how mental energy works. Never see that how hard you are trying to think, your worldly problems / concerns won't go away?

Mental energies are pictured as swords in tarot, they are minor arcana and they basically represent the personal issues and things in life. I currently think you are on eight of swords energy by mentally speaking (not whole truth but you could discover them if you like):

Eight of Swords Tarot Card Meaning | Description & One Card Pull For Eight Of Swords

Eight of Swords Tarot Card Meaning - The Eight of Swords warns us that although this escape route may not be simple, it is still open to us. Read what this card signifies during a one card pull on our website.

astrotalk.com

 

[Reflection]

From an outsider's point of view wanting to die means you're not mentally healthy or sane, period. They never stop to consider that there are people that would love to go on living if it weren't for some extreme issues that they have no control over...and even if you tell them that you're really out of options they'l deny that because they believe "that there are other ways of ending one's suffering"

 

[timetodie24]

You can kill yourself but not necessarily change how other people see you as. Concerning your sanity, that's basically their own view- you can't control the mental energies around you, it's just wind after all. what people think or talk, it's like breathing in sense.

You need air to breath, then you breath out air- receive, give, receive, give, that's how mental energy works. Never see that how hard you are trying to think, your worldly problems / concerns won't go away?

Mental energies are pictured as swords in tarot, they are minor arcana and they basically represent the personal issues and things in life. I currently think you are on eight of swords energy by mentally speaking (not whole truth but you could discover them if you like):

Eight of Swords Tarot Card Meaning | Description & One Card Pull For Eight Of Swords

Eight of Swords Tarot Card Meaning - The Eight of Swords warns us that although this escape route may not be simple, it is still open to us. Read what this card signifies during a one card pull on our website.

astrotalk.com

That's interesting thank you. I do feel quite trapped like the card.
I don't care what people think once I'm dead . I know I need to give less time and energy to what people think of me now. Just frustrating having people on here telling me that I shouldn't be making my own decisions, that I shouldn't even be on this site, that I should be locked up on a ward etc. That somehow I shouldn't have the same rights as others here just because they think i'm 'psychotic'. It's frustrating. But yeah it shouldnt matter as I know my truth and I need to let it go.

From an outsider's point of view wanting to die means you're not mentally healthy or sane, period. They never stop to consider that there are people that would love to go on living if it weren't for some extreme issues that they have no control over...and even if you tell them that you're really out of options they'l deny that because they believe "that there are other ways of ending one's suffering"

Yeah that's true. They never stop to think about quality of life, just that lives should always be saved whatever the cost.
And I expect that from outsiders as i'm used to it. Just shocked me how much I get from people here who are pro-choice yet for some reason when i share my story I suddenly shouldn't have a choice anymore . Confuses and frustrates me.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Agreed. Another thing I would add is that even if someone does have options, it's not always better to take those options. It is my belief that for some people at some points in time, suicide genuinely offers them the most optimal outcome, instead of being a "last resort" only to be tried after all else has failed, after they've already gone through untold levels of preventable suffering.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's not so much your want for death- it's the other stuff. Feeling like you are being sent messages. Feeling like you need to save the world. Feeling that you are responsible for hundreds of other people suffering and that you need to die in order to 'fix the glitch in the system'. Feeling like there is an entity that has taken over you. Suspecting you have microchips in your body.

These aren't things the majority of people experience, so we can't relate to them. That's not to say they aren't true. I can't deny it entirely but, it seems reasonable to question whether it could be psychosis. In which case- is it really right for someone to kill themselves based on an idea that isn't real or true? As in- they need to do it in order to save the world. If it's more to escape suffering- then, I expect most people do sympathise with that.

It's I suppose simply that people's ideas here may seem extreme but the reasons for those ideas are usually more tangible to most. They are in pain, they are struggling financially, they hate themselves or can't get over trauma, they simply don't want to live in this world. I get the impression your motives to CTB are more because you are feeling you are being told to in order to 'save people'. People likely would want proof on that before accepting it as a tangible reason. Proof that it is real rather than a delusion.

More than that though, it's not so much your own suicide- which I'd say- would be tragic if it's being initiated by a delusion. (Not saying it is- I don't know- just saying- it sounds possible.) It's that you've insinuated that your method- possibly walking in to traffic? May very well injure and kill multiple others. I think murder suicide plots do need to be questioned and prevented. We don't have the right to kill other people. Even if we think it's for the greater good- that needs to be established. Whether these messages etc. you are getting are real or not.

Certain things could be ascertained- I imagine they could tell you whether you have microchips in your body. The trouble I imagine though is that you'll struggle to trust anyone. I imagine this kind of thing makes you believe everyone is in on the conspiracy of keeping the truth from you. I actually really admire you for being in touch with MH services.

 

[Whale_bones]

I don't think people should be telling you you're too ill to make decisions or asserting that you have a specific condition- no one here could possibly know these things. I know that it's a lot of people's gut instinct to reply like that, I think they just say it without thinking it through too much.

But I feel it comes off as dismissive and is only unhelpful to you. You've described your situation in detail on here, and you're clearly an intelligent and introspective person who has already thought about the possibilities in-depth.

So when someone comments "it's psychosis, go to the ER" I think, they must not have read any of your other posts, they aren't familiar with your story, and they're probably not thinking it through much, because how could your reaction be "Whoa... I didn't think of that, but now that you mention it... good idea"

Of course you've already considered those things. You've been thinking about this for a long time, and even done the work to seek out specialized MH care that could improve your circumstances (as opposed to the idea of just walking in to a hospital).

So while I don't think people have bad intentions, it's understandably frustrating, and probably tiring. I think you're more polite and patient than I could be in your shoes, you still respond and explain things to people, I would probably just be like "read my other posts, dangit!!!"

 

[peaches]

From an outsider's point of view wanting to die means you're not mentally healthy or sane, period. They never stop to consider that there are people that would love to go on living if it weren't for some extreme issues that they have no control over...and even if you tell them that you're really out of options they'l deny that because they believe "that there are other ways of ending one's suffering"

I like the way that you expressed this.
Since I have never met anyone who would survive 10 minutes waking up as me, they do not get a vote in my staying or leaving.

 

[timetodie24]

It's not so much your want for death- it's the other stuff. Feeling like you are being sent messages. Feeling like you need to save the world. Feeling that you are responsible for hundreds of other people suffering and that you need to die in order to 'fix the glitch in the system'. Feeling like there is an entity that has taken over you. Suspecting you have microchips in your body.

These aren't things the majority of people experience, so we can't relate to them. That's not to say they aren't true. I can't deny it entirely but, it seems reasonable to question whether it could be psychosis. In which case- is it really right for someone to kill themselves based on an idea that isn't real or true? As in- they need to do it in order to save the world. If it's more to escape suffering- then, I expect most people do sympathise with that.

It's I suppose simply that people's ideas here may seem extreme but the reasons for those ideas are usually more tangible to most. They are in pain, they are struggling financially, they hate themselves or can't get over trauma, they simply don't want to live in this world. I get the impression your motives to CTB are more because you are feeling you are being told to in order to 'save people'. People likely would want proof on that before accepting it as a tangible reason. Proof that it is real rather than a delusion.

More than that though, it's not so much your own suicide- which I'd say- would be tragic if it's being initiated by a delusion. (Not saying it is- I don't know- just saying- it sounds possible.) It's that you've insinuated that your method- possibly walking in to traffic? May very well injure and kill multiple others. I think murder suicide plots do need to be questioned and prevented. We don't have the right to kill other people. Even if we think it's for the greater good- that needs to be established. Whether these messages etc. you are getting are real or not.

Certain things could be ascertained- I imagine they could tell you whether you have microchips in your body. The trouble I imagine though is that you'll struggle to trust anyone. I imagine this kind of thing makes you believe everyone is in on the conspiracy of keeping the truth from you. I actually really admire you for being in touch with MH services.

It's not just about saving others. I also have other stuff going on that lead to attempts years before the mind control. So it's more about me, selfishly, but i just have to rush it and change method to save others too. No one is going to get hurt or killed in my ctb except me.

I have proven about the microchips. Not going to attempt to get to the ones deep in me, but I did remove one that was working it's way out of my finger.


I'm stepping away from SS now but thank you so much for all your thoughtful response here and on my others threads. Take care , i hope you find peace somehow

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's not just about saving others. I also have other stuff going on that lead to attempts years before the mind control. So it's more about me, selfishly, but i just have to rush it and change method to save others too. No one is going to get hurt or killed in my ctb except me.

I have proven about the microchips. Not going to attempt to get to the ones deep in me, but I did remove one that was working it's way out of my finger.


I'm stepping away from SS now but thank you so much for all your thoughtful response here and on my others threads. Take care , i hope you find peace somehow

I wish you all the very best. From other threads, it's clear you are a sensitive and caring person. I'm so sorry life has turned out like this for you. I hope you find peace too.