Mistake of Nature
A shadow suspended on dust
- Mar 30, 2020
- 159
I am a hybristophile, meaning I am attracted to people who have committed violent crimes, including murder. More broadly, I am drawn to those who exhibit signs of psychopathy/sociopathy, narcissists, manipulators, or people who are aggressive in general. For example, I develop unhealthy obsessions over certain killers where I spend hours researching them and their crimes and fantasizing about our lives together. Knowing that a person has been violent (or even has violent or perverse thoughts but does not act on them) significantly increases their appeal to me.
Can anyone relate? I feel deeply embarrassed, ashamed, and guilty about this and am thoroughly disgusted with myself. I am sure it is rooted in my low self-esteem and insecurity, or perhaps I want to believe that I could "fix" a violent person or that I am special enough to be "loved" by someone who is dangerous. Maybe I am just insane or screwed up. Regardless of the reasons, I am very confused about this part of myself
Can anyone relate? I feel deeply embarrassed, ashamed, and guilty about this and am thoroughly disgusted with myself. I am sure it is rooted in my low self-esteem and insecurity, or perhaps I want to believe that I could "fix" a violent person or that I am special enough to be "loved" by someone who is dangerous. Maybe I am just insane or screwed up. Regardless of the reasons, I am very confused about this part of myself