huge blow to my plan (financial burden on family)

[avalokitesvara]

Even though I'm not planning to ctb any time in the coming year, or possibly not even for a long time, it's important to me to have a plan in mind for the future for whenever I need it.
I've been working on my plan for a while and feel like I had got it to a place where I'm happy with it. Plan involved going missing and then traveling abroad to die in an extremely remote location due to my chosen method being unfeasible where I live and there being no wildernesses. It was really important to me to go to this remote place and for my body to not be found. Or assuming the small possibility that it might be found, to have no identification so it would be an unknown "john doe". I was going to send my note and my ID documents back to my family before doing all this so that they would know what happened and could register my death.

Now I've looked into the practical implications for my family if I did this and it turns out in my country in order to register a missing person as "presumed dead" without a body the process is a) extremely long and complicated and b) will cost the family up to the equivalent of $10,000 in court and solicitors fees. This is devastating. I was planning on transferring all of what money I have left to my sibling to be invested for their children's future but this fee will use up a really big chunk of my savings. How unbelievably fucked up that a bereaved family has to go through such an arduous process in order to clean up the legal elements of someone disappearing/dying.

I don't know what to do now. My plan was very precious to me. I want my body to stay in the wilderness, I don't want it interred or cremated, I don't want anyone to find it, I don't want my family to have it or to see it. But if I go with the plan that is beautiful and meaningful to me I will cause an enormous pain in the ass. I guess someone dying is always a pain the ass for their next of kin but if I died in my country and allowed my body to be found then it would be much more straightforward and cheaper. Take SN in a hotel? Hang myself somewhere some random person would find me? I really really don't want that :(

The good thing is I have no spouse and no dependents, no property, mortgage, loans, whatever. I suppose I will do what I can to make sure my case is cut and dried, transfer the money to my parents for the fees, and send them guidance on the process. And just have to live with the fact I won't be able to contribute as much to my sibling's kids' futures as I had wanted. And that I will cause a big logistical headache for my parents. This fucking sucks.

At least I looked into this before naively believing someone can just go into the wilderness and never come back and it's as clean and neat as that. I hate this so much I wish I lived hundreds of years ago without all this bullshit bureaucracy, when you could just up and leave and that was that. I'm so angry.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I can appreciate that this idea means a lot to you. I imagine there is all this fuss in part because families and authorities probably aren't comfortable with people just going missing. I quite often sense when this happens that there is a deep desire for them to know what happened. I suppose because they could have met a number of fates. The person may still be alive but be suffering some place. They may have been murdered. They may have been kidnapped and trafficked. They may well have taken their own life.

From the authorities and insurers point of view- it's also quite often relatives or people known to the victim who commit murder and try to cover it up- such as- someone just disappearing so- I imagine that's another reason they prefer to have a body. To be able to assertain the cause of death for definite and rule out foul play.

I can understand why it looks needlessly cruel on relatives but I suppose we have the cases where people have actually murdered relatives to blame.

Personally, I don't like the thought of someone having to identify me after suicide. That's got to be traumatic. I wonder if they would go from dental records if we requested it.

 

[avalokitesvara]

Yeah I understand why legally it's important. I wish it was possible to opt out of though.

I guess I will make sure everything in terms of finances is as sorted out as possible before I execute my plan, and that it is completely unambiguous what has happened, to the best of my ability.