How's everyone's day going?

[Circles]

Hey. Wondering if anyone is up to chat on this boring and depressing day. Hugs if you don't feel like talking though. I'm just trying to get out of my shell so. Well I guess I'll start, how are y'all?

 

[SinisterKid]

This one is tired, always tired. But since you managed to exit your shell, what is so boring and depressing about this particular day?

 

[Circles]

This one is tired, always tired. But since you managed to exit your shell, what is so boring and depressing about this particular day?

I feel you, napping has become my savior. Well it's always boring and depressing for me. I'm not interested in anything and I'm tired of the things I usually did like watching tv for example. The thoughts just paralyze me even more where I guess I feel stuck and that I don't have many options. There's not much to do where I live anyway or anything that I would even like or I find pointless. I'm in the backyard just smoking and that's basically my only distraction now well besides this site and sleeping. I'm a very boring person so. How do you keep yourself distracted?

 

[SinisterKid]

I listen to music a lot and watch a fair amount of movies. I did spend a lot of my time playing ESO, but then I found this place and this is my new obsession. Apart from the odd one or two, everyone appears very pleasant, I relate to many and I am learning a great deal.

I dont get outside enough these days. I used to love it, but now, it plays with my senses to the point where it makes movement difficult.

 

[Aliaiactaest]

Today was like the every other day recently. They all blend in together. My sleep patterns are erratic and disturbed, but whatever they are, I find it difficult to get out of bed before 1pm. I have some things to do, but can't seem to get around to doing any of them. It takes enough energy to just go out and buy food. Today, I'm having a special meal. I bought some nice pate, some nice cheese, a nice baguette and I am going to open one of my few remaining really good bottles of wine. Why? Because why not? If I CTB, I should at least drink all my good wine. Eating still gives me pleasure, I have to say. By the way, I often go to sleep pretty early, considering my get-out-of-bed time. That means I am spending a lot of time in bed.
I also ordered N this week. I relate to the poster who said she began to cry when she got it. It made it all that much more real. For me, I'm still trying to sort things out.

 

[Circles]

I listen to music a lot and watch a fair amount of movies. I did spend a lot of my time playing ESO, but then I found this place and this is my new obsession. Apart from the odd one or two, everyone appears very pleasant, I relate to many and I am learning a great deal.

I dont get outside enough these days. I used to love it, but now, it plays with my senses to the point where it makes movement difficult.

Mind sharing a song you like? And yea I wish I could watch movies again, but it all triggers me now. May I ask what's ESO? And yea this place is the only outlet I have to be myself and to be actually understood.

I try to go outside more but the walks get old, I see the same stuff and I don't feel any different or atleast that very much to make an impact. It helps some but yeah I don't know what to do. I'm afraid I'm going to become a hermit again and just stay inside the house like when I did 2 years ago. It's a horrible predicament.

Today was like the every other day recently. They all blend in together. My sleep patterns are erratic and disturbed, but whatever they are, I find it difficult to get out of bed before 1pm. I have some things to do, but can't seem to get around to doing any of them. It takes enough energy to just go out and buy food. Today, I'm having a special meal. I bought some nice pate, some nice cheese, a nice baguette and I am going to open one of my few remaining really good bottles of wine. Why? Because why not? If I CTB, I should at least drink all my good wine. Eating still gives me pleasure, I have to say. By the way, I often go to sleep pretty early, considering my get-out-of-bed time. That means I am spending a lot of time in bed.
I also ordered N this week. I relate to the poster who said she began to cry when she got it. It made it all that much more real. For me, I'm still trying to sort things out.

Completely understandable, it really all just blends in together. I really hope you enjoy your meal it sounds delicious. Food is the one thing left I can feel 'full' of something to combat the emptiness. How long do you usually sleep? I've been getting close to 10-14 hours a days now. On and off sleeping terrifies me more than it does to help for some reason. I hope you can feel at ease and at peace once you received it dear. I wish I wasn't so dumb to get it myself but all well. Any thoughts that's bothering you leading up to it?

 

[Aliaiactaest]

I don't know how many hours I sleep except that it is a lot, way too much. Plus, lots of time just laying in bed. Yeah, lots of stuff at issue here, and some of it is on this site in dribs and drabs here and there. The thing about CTB is it's so damn final.

 

[SinisterKid]

AC/DC to ZZ Top and just about everything inbetween. I prefer classic rock type stuff, especially british bands, like Floyd and Zeppelin ans Purple. ESO is the Elder Scrolls Online, a mass multi player game [MMO] and I have played it for well over 2 yrs. Glad to have a break actually.

 

[Circles]

I don't know how many hours I sleep except that it is a lot, way too much. Plus, lots of time just laying in bed. Yeah, lots of stuff at issue here, and some of it is on this site in dribs and drabs here and there. The thing about CTB is it's so damn final.

I just hate not having no other options you know, it's just so fucking tragic and daunting. I try to pretend to there's nothing wrong with death and the whole situation but damn it's hard to reconcile and make sense of it.

AC/DC to ZZ Top and just about everything inbetween. I prefer classic rock type stuff, especially british bands, like Floyd and Zeppelin ans Purple. ESO is the Elder Scrolls Online, a mass multi player game [MMO] and I have played it for well over 2 yrs. Glad to have a break actually.

Add Kiss, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Motley Crue and you have my brothers favorite bands lol. Oh okay, I wish I was more open to try MMO games but I've always been stuck with just fps ones. I'm sure it's addictive lol. I can't get obsessed with another game again, it takes its toll.

 

[SinisterKid]

Oh I am very partial to a bit of Lynyrd Skynyrd, Kiss and the Crue, not really my cup of tea, bit to Hair Metal for my tastes. I remember being about 5 when my big bro first played Freebird and it blew me away, even at that age. After that, I listened to just about everything they ever recorded.

I was a avid console gamer until about 11 yrs ago. I have a xbox one but it has not been used for gaming for a long time now. So I tried online and found I liked it. I will go back to it, just not yet. A total break is never a bad thing when its threatening to take over your life.

 

[Circles]

I just can't believe life is this boring, I just can't fathom how people stay sane when even conversations grow dull atleast with me. I just can't function being human.

 

[Rukia]

Was this boredom with you from the beginning or is it a relatively new thing?

As for my day I broke bathroom scales, swept the glass aside but was too lazy for a couple of hours to throw it away...

 

[SinisterKid]

Oh I dont know, you have some experiences I can relate to. The problem is, we often see our own experiences as dull and boring, they are anything but that. Life is dull and boring when we have no purpose. Last year, we organised a holiday to Portugal, the first time we have been away in years. We went with our little family unit and it gave me a purpose. Since then, I have slipped back to where I was 3 yrs ago. Now, I am trying to find a trip to Paris as my partner has always wanted to go there and I need to make it happen. I dread it, but for her, its the least I can do. That would also give me some purpose again.

 

[WaterUnder]

Thanks for the party, @Circles

I'm listening to Pink Floyd's album, "Wish You Were Here", thinking how nice it would be to get a little high, smoke a cigarette, and hang out with friends.

Would love some wine and cheese, thanks, @Aliaiactaest and it sounds like @SinisterKid is in charge of music tonight.

I brought fresh summer fruit and brownies.

As for rock, I like classic, psychedelic, and southern rock.
Hi @Rukia No worries about the scale. We should all go scale-less once in awhile.

 

[ladolcemorte]

Well I'm in the psych ward after a failed attempt. (made it over the railing of the bridge but someone came and grabbed my shoulders to stop me from falling back and pulled me back over). I too am tired. I am exhausted and have pretty much stayed in bed all day. I did speak to the Dr, who says he is going to consult with my dr and come up with a treatment plan. Other than that I had a good conversation with a student nurse. She didn't spout out a bunch of platitudes- she just listened. That was refreshing.

Thanks for the party, @Circles

I'm listening to Pink Floyd's album, "Wish You Were Here", thinking how nice it would be to get a little high, smoke a cigarette, and hang out with friends.

Would love some wine and cheese, thanks, @Aliaiactaest and it sounds like @SinisterKid is in charge of music tonight.

I brought fresh summer fruit and brownies.

As for rock, I like classic, psychedelic, and southern rock.
Hi @Rukia No worries about the scale. We should all go scale-less once in awhile.

I love "wish you were here"

 

[blanketyblk]

Bad day for me.. was mean to go to work today. but felt like crap and just didn't want to leave the house. so here i am in bed reading and browsing this site. grr. stupid depression. kicks in at the worst time. so now waiting an hour so i can call my manager and say, nope sorry i can't come in today :-( fook sucks

 

[Final Escape]

Last couple days I might have slipped into a bad emotional flashback. I have literally just sat on my ass for two days. Not getting in shower till like late in the day. Pushing people away and blocking on phone. I can't seem to pull out of it but I'm gonna have to. I hate my life so much :("

 

[SinisterKid]

I love listening to Shine On You Crazy Diamond, I can put it on repeat and never tire of it, it really is that damned good. One of the few tracks that really lift me.

We need a group hug emote/emoje or whatever it is they call them these days.

 

[WaterUnder]

Well I'm in the psych ward after a failed attempt. .... Other than that I had a good conversation with a student nurse. She didn't spout out a bunch of platitudes- she just listened. That was refreshing.

The student nurses haven't been sullied yet. They still have compassion. Mine checked on me when I was "isolating", which is a danger signal apparently. I assured her that I wasn't isolating per se, but rather boycotting the violence on television and the crude behavior of the other inmates, er, patients.

 

[ladolcemorte]

Was this boredom with you from the beginning or is it a relatively new thing?

As for my day I broke bathroom scales, swept the glass aside but was too lazy for a couple of hours to throw it away...

Ok I have to ask: how did you break the scales? Did you throw them angrily? Cause scales make me feel that way too.....also, I have glass in my kitchen that I broke months ago...

The student nurses haven't been sullied yet. They still have compassion. Mine checked on me when I was "isolating", which is a danger signal apparently. I assured her that I wasn't isolating per se, but rather boycotting the violence on television and the crude behavior of the other inmates, er, patients.

Ugh...I hear that. The last ward I was in (the one I transferred out of) was sooooo loud. There were all these young men walking the halls playing rap music on their phones without earphones. (I didn't even know rap was still a thing...). Then there was this old guy who kept pacing the halls and swearing in French. I much preferred swearing old guy to the young music kids...at least I could relate to the swearing old guy!

 

[Circles]

I just got a pizza, I wish I could share it with you all. Anybody like pineapple on theirs? It's alright, I like it better than pepperoni.

 

[SinisterKid]

three six nine, the goose drank wine, the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line, the line broke, the monkey got chocked and they all went to heaven in a little rowing boat.

Quite apt in some ways for about now. And yes, I love Hawaiian pizza.

 

[Lara Francis]

I just got a pizza, I wish I could share it with you all. Anybody like pineapple on theirs? It's alright, I like it better than pepperoni.

Enjoy !

 

[WaterUnder]

Smh at Hawaiian pizza. Where's @Aliaiactaest with the pate? (I think he doesn't want to share.)

 

[blanketyblk]

Boss called me. he was pretty annoyed but wanted to make sure i was not going to do anything stupid. so today going to see my Councillor again. this will be my last free session for 6 months. and hopefully try and get myself sorted out again. grrr

 

[Circles]

Don't know if y'all laugh at cringy songs but my brother annoys the fuck out of me out of this lol:

 

[Weeping Garbage Can]

I've actually never had pineapple on my pizza before, I would love to try some one day :)

Today has been better than yesterday, so far, which I welcome happily. I still feel as though my life is a punishment, and for what, in the end? I wonder how many people I'm letting down in my life, by not being enough. I'm trying my best, but sadly, it isn't much. I wonder how many people I'm dragging down?

Boss called me. he was pretty annoyed but wanted to make sure i was not going to do anything stupid. so today going to see my Councillor again. this will be my last free session for 6 months. and hopefully try and get myself sorted out again. grrr

I wish you all the best with your Councillor! Maybe you could ask for any pragmatic solutions/copes to last the 6 months?

 

[Dartz]

Slightly less shit than normal. Because I have alcohol. :)

 

[Weeping Garbage Can]

Don't know if y'all laugh at cringy songs but my brother annoys the fuck out of me out of this lol:

That dancing sure is something...points for self expression?

 

[Circles]

Boss called me. he was pretty annoyed but wanted to make sure i was not going to do anything stupid. so today going to see my Councillor again. this will be my last free session for 6 months. and hopefully try and get myself sorted out again. grrr

Don't let him bother you, just focus on yourself. I hope counseling helps much?