How would you tell someone you have suicidal intent

[abchia]

I recently disclosed to my family and friends and found it wasn't as bad as I thought. Nobody locked me up in a psych ward, I'm just getting a lot of emotional support. I still feel empowered to ctb if I wish, but now I know I can say goodbye to the people I love if I needed. I also feel there is more medical and emotional support if I want to live.

I feel really strongly that nobody should have to suffer alone, and wish everyone could feel safe and comfortable disclosing. I think feeling safe and being transparent improves people's ability to make informed choices rather than being coerced into suicide by loneliness and insecurity re: suicide.

Obviously millage will vary and many cannot disclose, but I'm curious how many of you have disclosed? Why or why not?

So I saw this post/poll about how many people have disclosed to people around them and surprised me that many people said they have. I was wondering if everyone could share their experiences on exactly what they said or how they phrased it? I'm struggling to see a situation where it would not be treated as a joke.

 

[lacrimosa]

I told someone that I am done with life and don't want to live anymore.. and they said to do it outside to make it easier on my family... Makes sense, it's practical, and even comforting to know that they accept my choice. It's just now a matter of when and like I've said before, when will be if there is absolutely no hope left, then so be it, I choose not to be. Let eternity swallow me.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

If you're wanting help, and don't really want to die, by all means reach out for help and tell someone.

On the flip-side, if you've reached your rock-bottom, and are ready to die, and you know that ctb is the choice for you, I don't think it's a good idea to tell anyone of your ideation or plans. Some people might report you and get you sectioned, or, depending on your circumstances, set something up so you're watched over 24/7. They may even search your stuff and take away anything you have that you were planning on using to ctb.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

So I saw this post/poll about how many people have disclosed to people around them and surprised me that many people said they have. I was wondering if everyone could share their experiences on exactly what they said or how they phrased it? I'm struggling to see a situation where it would not be treated as a joke.

Half the equation is finding the right/trustworthy person(s) to disclose to. Person(s) who will validate your reasons for wishing to die while simultaneously exploring with you whether it is the right or wrong choice, alongside exhausting alternative options. Too many are too quick to fall into dismissive and reductive cliché's that alienate us ("all life is inherently worthwhile", "you are responsible for your family's pain", "your pain is less than that of others who have overcome theirs"). Validation and accurate empathy are so crucial to raising us out of emotional "slums" constructed by the very censorship, prohibition, and reductive attitudes certain (not all) people have towards suicide; and by extension, dismissing our underlying conditions of suffering that lead rise to suicidal ideation.

I've had this conversation (discussing the issues with disclosure) with a handful of people, both suicidal and not, and have come out to much of my family and community. I've learned a lot of the politics surrounding it from both sides and see the biases and pitfalls each have.

Please reach out if you'd like to chat about how to disclose. It's a thorny and emotionally touchy subject for a lot of people but is an incredibly important discussion to have regardless if it's something you feel compelled towards.

Nobody should have to feel these things alone. We all deserve the right to healthy deliberation with another caring person. In living, sickness, or dying.