Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
It's my last shot at meeting someone. I secretly hope she says no, so ctb will be even easier. But the part of me that wants to live hopes she'd say yes.

We've spoken a few times before and she seemed to like me. But it's hard to know when a cashier is being genuine.
 
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Simba

Simba

Missunderstood Potato
Dec 9, 2018
751
I work as a cashier too.. i think best to just ask up front ,you never know if you don't try ,no ? I also gonna try and search for this costumer i had that was really nice to me ,i called him Harry potter guy cause thats who he reminded me of. Good Luck i hope it works out for you !!
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
I work as a cashier too.. i think best to just ask up front ,you never know if you don't try ,no ? I also gonna try and search for this costumer i had that was really nice to me ,i called him Harry potter guy cause thats who he reminded me of. Good Luck i hope it works out for you !!
I think giving her a piece of paper with my name and number could work, but what would I say before that part?
[
 
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Pineapplecrown

Pineapplecrown

Pine
Oct 21, 2018
97
Here's my number if you ever wanted to meet up for pizza or something
 
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T

timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,165
You may say that you enjoy talking with her and the maybe you could get a cup of coffee sometime when she is free. Floating a possibility is less risky than actually something more concrete. It can be a low risk way to test the waters.
 
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MorticiasHair

MorticiasHair

Member
Jul 1, 2020
56
It's my last shot at meeting someone. I secretly hope she says no, so ctb will be even easier. But the part of me that wants to live hopes she'd say yes.

We've spoken a few times before and she seemed to like me. But it's hard to know when a cashier is being genuine.

Awww :love: humor can work wonders :) just come back into conversation and if she keeps eye contact or gets nervous / shy, I would give her my nr. tell us how it went :))
 
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TheSoulless

TheSoulless

I'd like to fly but my wings have been so denied
Jan 7, 2020
1,055
I don't want to give any bad advice, but I wish you luck.
 
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Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
Here's my number if you ever wanted to meet up for pizza or something
^^ seems like a solid casual approach ngl. You're not really putting her on the spot by asking her out, just letting her know you're interested and giving her the opportunity to contact you.

The fact that you're even able to consider asking someone out means you're miles ahead of me, so good luck and I hope it works out.
 
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Life.Journey.Unknown

Life.Journey.Unknown

I'm not strong enough for life.
Feb 24, 2020
65
Don't go in to it secretly hoping that she'll say no. Go in with an open mind, don't over-think the situation.

I like timf's method. The whole bringing it up in casual conversation. You say you've spoken to her a few times so you're halfway there already!

Good luck!
 
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Simba

Simba

Missunderstood Potato
Dec 9, 2018
751
I think giving her a piece of paper with my name and number could work, but what would I say before that part?
[
Tell her this:
Hey um I really liked talking to you those last few times and i was wondering if maybe you'd like to hang out with me sometime ? Give me a call if you do
XXX-XXX-XXXX
P.S. even if you're not really interested I'd appreciate if you'd maybe tell me too. Thankyou
Have a nice afternoon ,
[Your Name]
 
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I

I’mDone

Experienced
Mar 22, 2020
261
Tell her this:
Hey um I really liked talking to you those last few times and i was wondering if maybe you'd like to hang out with me sometime ? Give me a call if you do
XXX-XXX-XXXX
P.S. even if you're not really interested I'd appreciate if you'd maybe tell me too. Thankyou
Have a nice afternoon ,
[Your Name]

I would leave out the PS. It puts pressure on her to make contact even if she's not interested.
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
^^ seems like a solid casual approach ngl. You're not really putting her on the spot by asking her out, just letting her know you're interested and giving her the opportunity to contact you.

The fact that you're even able to consider asking someone out means you're miles ahead of me, so good luck and I hope it works out.
I'm not sure it will. When I first met her, I was wearing a beanie and got a positive response. Next time I had a mask on too, so only my eyes were visible. She liked that, but I doubt she knew it was me. Third time I went without a mask or hat (got berated by an old man lol), but I couldn't tell what she thought. If she knew it was me, she didn't seem as thrilled as the other times.
 
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x51391225x

x51391225x

Member
Jul 1, 2020
26
I think giving her a piece of paper with my name and number could work, but what would I say before that part?
[
I was a manager at a place lol and I had a relationship with the armored truck guy for two years. He was a nerd with no confidence so I had to initiate but I have a strong personality. Anyways, I started out friendly small talk aka do you live around here, what did you do over the weekend, slipped in do you live with your girlfriend lmao. Slipped name and number a few weeks later.

Unfortunately, for me, it ended extremely badly recently and contributes to my feelings. I hope it works out better for you.
 
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S

stillweary

Member
May 15, 2020
74
Honestly... I wouldn't ask her out at work. She's trying to do her job and she has to make customers happy. She can't just walk away. Maybe just casually say, "I'm heading to XYZ later. Wanna come with me?" And if she says no or is hesitant, just let her be.
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
Honestly... I wouldn't ask her out at work. She's trying to do her job and she has to make customers happy. She can't just walk away. Maybe just casually say, "I'm heading to XYZ later. Wanna come with me?" And if she says no or is hesitant, just let her be.
No
 
MorticiasHair

MorticiasHair

Member
Jul 1, 2020
56
baby, do what you think is right. what others say doesn't matter. just try to flirt with her again.
 
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puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
It's my last shot at meeting someone. I secretly hope she says no, so ctb will be even easier. But the part of me that wants to live hopes she'd say yes.

We've spoken a few times before and she seemed to like me. But it's hard to know when a cashier is being genuine.
Dude you're Bojack Horseman you can do it. :sunglasses:
 
Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
Aren't you that horse from Horsin Around?

Maybe that's what you should say to the lady. If she goes "What? Huh?" you can say ohh sorry I meant would you like to have lunch sometime soon? Here's my name & number."
 
puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
Maybe that's what you should say to the lady. If she goes "What? Huh?" you can say ohh sorry I meant would you like to have lunch sometime soon? Here's my name & number."
Master Soul he's gone. I hope he's okay tho.
 
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A

Anonymoussn

Specialist
May 12, 2020
381
On the off chance you're still around, and are reading this, I wouldn't take it personally if she rejected you. If I were working and someone came up to me I would probably hesitate and not know what to say.

There may have been other customers, or colleagues that could hear. And she might have been caught off guard and didnt want to seem unprofessional, or might have been embarrassed, regardless of whether she was actually into you or not. I'd have probably said no even if I liked the person in all honesty. Or I'd have frozen and not known what to say.
 
I

Intheo

Student
Jul 1, 2020
119
Don't give the girl your number guys. You have to get her number. Despite gender equality and all that, women still expect the man to make the move. They almost never do from my experience except in rare cases the girl really really likes you.

Trust me dude, don't put it on her to take the initiative, because you're the one who wants to ask her out. From her perspective, she could be thinking, 'Why is this guy who don't even know making me ask him out?'

Ask her if she wants to do something (lunch, coffee, picnic, hike, etc) and get her number.
 
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AngelGirl

AngelGirl

Cat
May 18, 2019
167
I agree with Intheo. I think asking for her number would work better than giving her your number.

First start a casual conversation with her,
If the conversation went well, then you say,
Hey, I really like talking to you. Maybe you want to grab coffee sometime?
If she says yes,
Then ask for her number (instead of giving her your number)

And try to make it sound very casual. Don't show her that you are really into her yet.
 
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Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
Don't give the girl your number guys. You have to get her number. Despite gender equality and all that, women still expect the man to make the move. They almost never do from my experience except in rare cases the girl really really likes you.

Trust me dude, don't put it on her to take the initiative, because you're the one who wants to ask her out. From her perspective, she could be thinking, 'Why is this guy who don't even know making me ask him out?'

Ask her if she wants to do something (lunch, coffee, picnic, hike, etc) and get her number.
idk man I would give my number in this situation. Asking for hers puts her on the spot. If she doesn't want to give it you've put her in an awkward situation, especially at work where she is supposed to be nice to you. By giving yours you make it a little easier on her and less potentially creepy. It's not like he can't still ask her out, it just gives her an easy way to reject without it being weird.
 
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Hurtstomuch.

Hurtstomuch.

Member
Feb 13, 2020
16
As a woman I genuinely dont know whether I'd prefer giving my number out whilst at work or take someone else's. I feel like if u was to start just general chit chat (buy a shit load of food so u can chat more lol) and then be like would u wana go out sometime towards the end of the conversation see what her response is like if its positive then ask if she has a pen and write down your number in front of her so it doesn't look so planned or ask for hers or whatever.
 
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I

Intheo

Student
Jul 1, 2020
119
idk man I would give my number in this situation. Asking for hers puts her on the spot. If she doesn't want to give it you've put her in an awkward situation, especially at work where she is supposed to be nice to you. By giving yours you make it a little easier on her and less potentially creepy. It's not like he can't still ask her out, it just gives her an easy way to reject without it being weird.

Women almost never ever contact the guy first. So if he does give her his number, he will never hear from her. If he does want to ask her out, he will at some point have to do it in person at her place of work anyway, unless he happens to run into her somewhere else.

There's a fine line between creepy and assertive, and it takes some social awareness to walk that line. She can reject him either way, and he has to convey an attitude that he'll be respecting of that. Being honest and up front, while being respectful of the other person's reactions, is the opposite of being creepy.

Be direct, but convey that you are aware that what you're doing isn't "normal," convey that you realize she's at work so you want to be respectful of that, convey that if she says no, you'll respect her decision.

This sort of attitude took me far in dating. I'm not trying to portray myself as some player, because I'm not, and being with many women isn't a virtue IMO anyway. However, I lived a phase of my life being the typical anti-social, awkward loner who couldn't get dates to save his life, then I lived another phase where I was meeting more women than I thought was possible for me. Learning how to take control of this particular realm of life is a big step towards a better life for many young men, so I encourage a more assertive approach.
 
Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
Women almost never ever contact the guy first. So if he does give her his number, he will never hear from her. If he does want to ask her out, he will at some point have to do it in person at her place of work anyway, unless he happens to run into her somewhere else.

There's a fine line between creepy and assertive, and it takes some social awareness to walk that line. She can reject him either way, and he has to convey an attitude that he'll be respecting of that. Being honest and up front, while being respectful of the other person's reactions, is the opposite of being creepy.

Be direct, but convey that you are aware that what you're doing isn't "normal," convey that you realize she's at work so you want to be respectful of that, convey that if she says no, you'll respect her decision.

This sort of attitude took me far in dating. I'm not trying to portray myself as some player, because I'm not, and being with many women isn't a virtue IMO anyway. However, I lived a phase of my life being the typical anti-social, awkward loner who couldn't get dates to save his life, then I lived another phase where I was meeting more women than I thought was possible for me. Learning how to take control of this particular realm of life is a big step towards a better life for many young men, so I encourage a more assertive approach.
I think the catch here is, like you say, you do need a little social awareness to make it work. I guess this is only suited to some people but not others. There's no way I could manage being direct and assertive while also staying casual and trying to convey a respectful tone all at once. Having someone not contact you back isn't a big deal imo since it just means they aren't interested.
 
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I

Intheo

Student
Jul 1, 2020
119
I think the catch here is, like you say, you do need a little social awareness to make it work. I guess this is only suited to some people but not others. There's no way I could manage being direct and assertive while also staying casual and trying to convey a respectful tone all at once. Having someone not contact you back isn't a big deal imo since it just means they aren't interested.
I didn't think about that. A rejection could emotionally wreck someone. As silly is the idea to me that some girl I barely could destroy my confidence with a "no," there was a point in my life where that was a reality. But at the same time, it could be my own neurotic personality that couldn't deal with the lack of closure either. A "no" drove me less crazy than wondering what happened.

It's sort of a catch 22. The only way to get over this fear and to hone your social skills is to make mistakes and embarrass yourself. Trust me when I felt like a fool many times. I came to the point getting embarrassed over rejections just felt silly to me after awhile. Life is bigger than letting something like that stop you and all that. But how do you gather the courage to run head first into embarrassment? It's an individual task, but personally I hit a point low enough that I just said "fuck it" to everything, and it worked for me.

Here's one caveat though: I was never really good enough to navigate subtle social cues. Like you said, " being direct and assertive while also staying casual and trying to convey a respectful tone all at once" is a hell of a task. I bypassed this by directly saying what I wanted and felt rather than simply giving a vibe.

I would directly say, I realize that this is awkward and you're at work right now, I'm not very good at this, but you're interesting so I would like to take you out sometime if it's okay with you. What's your name?
 
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