I did not do very much as usual. I mostly spend the day overthinking everything and wishing I did not exist. Today I ended up thinking about the past a lot and it was depressing. The only peace for me is in death. I think in my case there is nothing that I enjoy and there is nothing to look forward to. Just a pointless, empty existence.
Woke up at 12:30. Cup of coffee, healthy stool. Went to work at 13:30. Drank and snorted a on my way to work, thinking of. productivity. Working in a relaxed atmosphere with my favorite coworker. Witing a few passive aggressive messages to my fake friend. Time flew by.
Home now, watching Seinfeld.
Unfortunately I did not sleep enough due to my stomach distress. Then the morning was very challenging with various issues going on. So it's been a tough day. Currently I'm just sprawled out on my bed. Might go shopping or may procrastinate it to tomorrow.
I overslept on purpose, skipped my lecture, played some Spyro instead. Smoked a bunch of cigarettes and ate a frozen pizza.
Slept again from 8 pm-1am. Been on Discord all night since then. Think I'll do the same tomorrow.
Woke up in the late afternoon after a typical rough night. Recorded drums on a few songs. Worked on artwork for a podcast. Endured suicidal thoughts and anxiety fueled exhaustion. Late night grocery run. Not going to be able to sleep tonight and dreading work tomorrow early morning.
Went to my lawyer to talk about some stuff. Made some replanning. Made a call for buying a property and got little mad at the other side. One very important purchase deal was delayed 2nd day in a row and have no idea will it be done. Worked fo a couple of hours. Looked for some armored cars for sale and companies offering armour based on graphen tech. Again replanning. At least today came up a possible location for running away when stuff goes bad, will know that at the end of novembre. But still that made my day, cause i had no idea wich country should be considered save at present time. Went to take the kids from school. In an hour should go to do some arrangements outside while it's very cold this night.
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