scales
Resident Slime
- Oct 18, 2018
- 214
A while back I posted about how to talk to mental health professionals, specifically what to say to get out of a psychiatric hospital. I later noticed my advice being used where it would actually be harmful, and wanted to make a post explaining how to talk to mental health professionals to get what you want. For background, I have successfully accomplished my goals with mental health providers using these techniques, and have studied psychology and mental health in college, I can also provide some resources and explanations for my advice as needed, please feel free to ask questions if you want.
The first thing to consider is, what is your goal? I will talk about these scenarios:
Before I talk about these scenarios I want to explain that my knowledge is mostly based in the US and other countries may be different. In addition a lot depends on the mental health care worker you end up with, just because something works for one person doesn't mean it will for another. Second, before going into each scenario it is worth discussing what mental health care workers look for.
What mental health care workers look for:
Those working in mental health rely on you to be honest with them. There are circumstances this isn't the case, it depends on your history with them, but this is an important piece.
Second, mental health workers will ask you about your desire to kill yourself. If you have suicidal thoughts this is actually considered fairly normal for the depressed individual and is called suicidal ideation. It is not in itself a cause for concern. It is highly unlikely a mental health care worker will notify your family or friends simply for having thoughts about suicide.
Mental health care workers assessing suicide risk will ask you if you have a plan for suicide, a method for suicide and a date. They also look for certain signs.
A plan for suicide is usually vague and can mean something as simple as "I want to hang myself" or "I think I will try drowning." Again, this isn't a giant red flag, depending on the rest of your interview with the worker, they may not take action, or they might.
A method means you have a way to do your plan. For example, if you have firearms at home or have gathered the materials for your suicide like a noose etc. this is a huge red flag and most mental health care workers will take action at this point because they believe you are a risk to yourself.
A date (say, this Saturday) means the worker is likely not going to let you leave and take you to a place for involuntary hospitalization, police may be called depending on the severity of the situation.
During your interview the mental health care provider will also be looking for other signs of suicide such as selling your things, saying goodbye to friends and family etc. basically things people do when they're particularly suicidal.
Now let's consider the different scenarios.
1. You want to recover.
In this scenario you want to be honest with your mental health care worker. Depending on your particular situation you should decide the best course of action for you. The amount of help you receive will depend largely on you. In order to maintain the most control you should tell the provider what you want for recovery, Even if you have a plan or method, tell them everything. If their actions don't suit you or don't help, and you decide you want to CTB after all, then go to scenario 3.
If you don't want to be hospitalized but really need help, you probably need more than you will get by telling them a little bit. You can ask for more help, but it's really down to them to decide. The more you're willing to work with them for recovery, the better your chances of getting recovery the way you want it.
Telling your mental health care worker you want to recover is actually a big deal because it means you don't want to die even if you're thinking about it and planning it, asking them to help you is actually really useful.
Also important note here, a lot of people on this site have terrible experience with mental health workers, but they aren't all out to get you or make you miserable. Everyone is different but most people can recover. Not everyone, but most. If you aren't sure where you fall yet, or haven't tried any form of recovery yet, it may be worth trying to work with mental health professionals the best you can. At worst they fail you and you decide to ctb after all, you can always change your mind and start lying later. But if you really want to recover, it's better to start here.
Also, don't think you're bound to your mental health worker. If your psychiatrist, therapist, whatever is not helping you or understanding, if you haven't improved, get a new one. Try something else. There are a lot of treatments for a lot of conditions, if you think you can be saved then you probably can be.
2. You want your friends and family to see your suffering and help you.
In this situation you are not truly suicidal, you are giving a cry for help and deserve the help you're asking for. However, something extreme like hospitalization will likely impede your control and have no benefits. In this situation I would recommend telling your friends and family about your suicidal thoughts directly but not any plan etc. Tell your mental health care worker about everything and how you feel you have so little help. In the worst case, it may be beneficial to try a non lethal suicide attempt. You should request intensive outpatient therapy or consider voluntary hospitalization where you tell them you're suicidal for now but don't mention any serious lethal method, don't mention research on the internet for serious harmful and lethal methods or a date of death, that will likely have consequences you didn't ask for and might make it worse.
Maybe you're in a bad situation but want to live, you want to get out of the bad situation. There is hope for you. Explain your specific situation to your mental health provider. There may be options available to you that you didn't know about.
3. You are 100% sure you want to CTB or are involuntarily stuck in a psychiatric hospital etc. or do not want help, do not want to recover, want to be left alone for sure.
This is the only situation under which I would recommend lying to your mental health provider. Lie like you're an actor and this is your job.
Here's some things that can help get you out of a psychiatric hospital, obviously it varies from person to person but I'm going to assume the common problem here is suicide.
Hospitals can keep you if they believe you're a harm to yourself or to others. So, act like you don't hate yourself or others. Talk about exciting things or hobbies you want to do. Talk about a future, suicidal people don't usually talk about a future because they don't perceive themselves as having one. So act like you have one, talk about friends, family, your favorite tv series or whatever. Don't talk about your own hatred. Try not to get angry, try to make eye contact, try to smile and move your hands as you speak. Depression often creates an image of someone shy, withdrawn, slow in their movements.
But don't be jittery or jumpy or too nervous either. Try to be relaxed. Practice some meditation if you have to, because it can help you maintain the relaxed composure you need to lie and get out. But don't act like your depression magically healed overnight or they will pick up on your lies. Talk about wanting to recover while living your life because you think it will help you more than the hospital. Say you think regular exercise, conversations with friends or making new friends or hobbies will help you overcome your depression or you think they might. Say you'd like to meet someone regularly for therapy and meds but don't think you need to be stuck where you are. Follow their advice and be easy to deal with, it might take more than one day.
Once you're out, know that you're given freedom but if you end up in the hospital again getting out will be harder than before. You have to be sure your next attempt is lethal and effective or move as far away as possible.
The first thing to consider is, what is your goal? I will talk about these scenarios:
- You want to recover.
- You want your friends and family to see your suffering and help you, take you seriously etc.
- You are 100% sure you want to ctb and are involuntarily seeing a mental health worker.
Before I talk about these scenarios I want to explain that my knowledge is mostly based in the US and other countries may be different. In addition a lot depends on the mental health care worker you end up with, just because something works for one person doesn't mean it will for another. Second, before going into each scenario it is worth discussing what mental health care workers look for.
What mental health care workers look for:
Those working in mental health rely on you to be honest with them. There are circumstances this isn't the case, it depends on your history with them, but this is an important piece.
Second, mental health workers will ask you about your desire to kill yourself. If you have suicidal thoughts this is actually considered fairly normal for the depressed individual and is called suicidal ideation. It is not in itself a cause for concern. It is highly unlikely a mental health care worker will notify your family or friends simply for having thoughts about suicide.
Mental health care workers assessing suicide risk will ask you if you have a plan for suicide, a method for suicide and a date. They also look for certain signs.
A plan for suicide is usually vague and can mean something as simple as "I want to hang myself" or "I think I will try drowning." Again, this isn't a giant red flag, depending on the rest of your interview with the worker, they may not take action, or they might.
A method means you have a way to do your plan. For example, if you have firearms at home or have gathered the materials for your suicide like a noose etc. this is a huge red flag and most mental health care workers will take action at this point because they believe you are a risk to yourself.
A date (say, this Saturday) means the worker is likely not going to let you leave and take you to a place for involuntary hospitalization, police may be called depending on the severity of the situation.
During your interview the mental health care provider will also be looking for other signs of suicide such as selling your things, saying goodbye to friends and family etc. basically things people do when they're particularly suicidal.
Now let's consider the different scenarios.
1. You want to recover.
In this scenario you want to be honest with your mental health care worker. Depending on your particular situation you should decide the best course of action for you. The amount of help you receive will depend largely on you. In order to maintain the most control you should tell the provider what you want for recovery, Even if you have a plan or method, tell them everything. If their actions don't suit you or don't help, and you decide you want to CTB after all, then go to scenario 3.
If you don't want to be hospitalized but really need help, you probably need more than you will get by telling them a little bit. You can ask for more help, but it's really down to them to decide. The more you're willing to work with them for recovery, the better your chances of getting recovery the way you want it.
Telling your mental health care worker you want to recover is actually a big deal because it means you don't want to die even if you're thinking about it and planning it, asking them to help you is actually really useful.
Also important note here, a lot of people on this site have terrible experience with mental health workers, but they aren't all out to get you or make you miserable. Everyone is different but most people can recover. Not everyone, but most. If you aren't sure where you fall yet, or haven't tried any form of recovery yet, it may be worth trying to work with mental health professionals the best you can. At worst they fail you and you decide to ctb after all, you can always change your mind and start lying later. But if you really want to recover, it's better to start here.
Also, don't think you're bound to your mental health worker. If your psychiatrist, therapist, whatever is not helping you or understanding, if you haven't improved, get a new one. Try something else. There are a lot of treatments for a lot of conditions, if you think you can be saved then you probably can be.
2. You want your friends and family to see your suffering and help you.
In this situation you are not truly suicidal, you are giving a cry for help and deserve the help you're asking for. However, something extreme like hospitalization will likely impede your control and have no benefits. In this situation I would recommend telling your friends and family about your suicidal thoughts directly but not any plan etc. Tell your mental health care worker about everything and how you feel you have so little help. In the worst case, it may be beneficial to try a non lethal suicide attempt. You should request intensive outpatient therapy or consider voluntary hospitalization where you tell them you're suicidal for now but don't mention any serious lethal method, don't mention research on the internet for serious harmful and lethal methods or a date of death, that will likely have consequences you didn't ask for and might make it worse.
Maybe you're in a bad situation but want to live, you want to get out of the bad situation. There is hope for you. Explain your specific situation to your mental health provider. There may be options available to you that you didn't know about.
3. You are 100% sure you want to CTB or are involuntarily stuck in a psychiatric hospital etc. or do not want help, do not want to recover, want to be left alone for sure.
This is the only situation under which I would recommend lying to your mental health provider. Lie like you're an actor and this is your job.
Here's some things that can help get you out of a psychiatric hospital, obviously it varies from person to person but I'm going to assume the common problem here is suicide.
Hospitals can keep you if they believe you're a harm to yourself or to others. So, act like you don't hate yourself or others. Talk about exciting things or hobbies you want to do. Talk about a future, suicidal people don't usually talk about a future because they don't perceive themselves as having one. So act like you have one, talk about friends, family, your favorite tv series or whatever. Don't talk about your own hatred. Try not to get angry, try to make eye contact, try to smile and move your hands as you speak. Depression often creates an image of someone shy, withdrawn, slow in their movements.
But don't be jittery or jumpy or too nervous either. Try to be relaxed. Practice some meditation if you have to, because it can help you maintain the relaxed composure you need to lie and get out. But don't act like your depression magically healed overnight or they will pick up on your lies. Talk about wanting to recover while living your life because you think it will help you more than the hospital. Say you think regular exercise, conversations with friends or making new friends or hobbies will help you overcome your depression or you think they might. Say you'd like to meet someone regularly for therapy and meds but don't think you need to be stuck where you are. Follow their advice and be easy to deal with, it might take more than one day.
Once you're out, know that you're given freedom but if you end up in the hospital again getting out will be harder than before. You have to be sure your next attempt is lethal and effective or move as far away as possible.
