How to talk about suicide to my family?

[RottenApple17]

I'm 28 years old. For several years, I've been dealing with the consequences of being on the autism spectrum, and also with the consequences of having a physical appearance that often stands out. Together, these have caused me chronic psychosomatic pain, as the impacts of the above are quite severe in economic, work, social, and other areas.

Given this, and after many years and various treatments, I believe that suicide is a rational option that brings me relief, but the method of suicide is not indifferent to me.

Today, people who commit suicide are forced to do so with painful methods and in solitude, which makes everything even darker, both for the person and for their loved ones.

In any case, my intention is to inform my family that I am considering suicide as an option. My idea is to be able to talk about it honestly, and as a valid solution for my existence, that can be understood. But I don't know how to have that conversation, where to begin. This whole subject is so taboo that it's very difficult to approach.

What advice would you give me on this matter?

 

[iloveloving]

Do you have a family group chat? If so, this could be a great way to approach. It can allow you to communicate better and easier without getting too mixed up with emotions, or it can be more convenient. For some people it's easier to talk about these things over the phone.

You can go about this however you want to, but as an approach this could be a good idea! Then you could possibly talk face-to-face or on call with your loved ones to go in-depth.

 

[Bear1234]

how do you think your family would go about receiving this info? I say this because if they are religious or perhaps just can't down with the idea of suicide, i don't know if they will be accepting of it even though your quality of life is poor. I'm sure they see your suffering but Im not sure if that will be enough for them to be okay with your suicide. Tbh its risky to do this because they 1. might try to really stop you 2. send you to the psych ward

 

[-Link-]

This information may be best delivered in written format.

If your family has no prior indication of your suicidality (and, perhaps, even if they do), it could be an extraordinarily difficult conversation for everybody to try to get through.

If they have the information in written format, they can take their time with it. They can walk away from it and come back to it as needed. They can re-read it. And they can approach you about it when they are ready. It would also allow you to get all your thoughts out in a coherent manner, bearing in mind it can be easy to lose one's train of thought in an emotionally challenging conversation.

If you do this: Introduce the letter by telling them you are currently safe (aka "this is not a suicide note") and that it concerns a heavy topic (aka "brace yourself"). At the end of the letter, tell them that if/when they are ready to talk about it, that you'll be there for them. If you have any conditions as to what that conversation will look like, tell them what those conditions are (eg. scheduling the conversation for a specific time rather than just having them approach you randomly). You could also add in how you know you have their support, and you love them. You could say that you would have liked to have had this conversation in person but that it would have been too difficult. Try to anticipate about how they might react and feel or what automatic questions they might have, and address those proactively in the letter. (If the roles were reversed, what would you want to hear from you?)

 

[J&L383]

how do you think your family would go about receiving this info? I say this because if they are religious or perhaps just can't down with the idea of suicide, i don't know if they will be accepting of it even though your quality of life is poor. I'm sure they see your suffering but Im not sure if that will be enough for them to be okay with your suicide. Tbh its risky to do this because they 1. might try to really stop you 2. send you to the psych ward

Yes, proceed with caution! I would say that it's likely you do not get a very understanding response but quickly move towards assuming you're "mentally ill" and then try to send you to the psych ward (a conservativeship, for example). I'm in the same boat. I'm looking for the opportunity to carefully approach the subject, but with tiptoes rather than diving in.

 

[divinemistress36]

Be prepared to be sent to a psych ward and medicated if you tell your family